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The Lucky One Trailer: Nicholas Sparks Creates Another Nauseating Landslide Of Schmaltz (Now With Extra Efron!)

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (19)

efron.t1larg.jpg

The Nicholas Sparks Adaptation-Bot 2000 has been jumpstarted once again, and it has produced another winner. All of the basic ingredients are there:

Quiet, handsome loner (Zac Efron)
Pretty, anxious, spirited woman (Taylor Schilling)
Improbable circumstances
A misunderstanding/deception that brought them together but will nonetheless cause some sort of rift
A bland, banal score replete with an excessive crescendo
A crappy, adult contemporary Third Eye Blind-esque song
Cheesy lines like “Why did you come here?” “To find you”


Oh God, somewhere a lonely 50-something woman surrounded by cats and empty Häagen-Daz containers just spontaneously orgasmed.

I fucking hate Nicholas Sparks. I don’t know how they roped Baby Goose and Rachel McAdams into being in The Notebook, I swear.









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Comments

Damn it! I am so down for this. My sister and I will be there and we are not 50 year old cat ladies. Mmmmm I want some high school musical having the sex.

I will give Sparks this: he has the cutest kids in his movies. They usually end up being the best part, see 'The Last Song.' Actually don't, the movie was terrible.

He (the trailer team) makes a really good trailer. I can tell I'm gonna have a good cry or laugh through the entire movie (Dear John), either way I'll have some fun.

Baby Goose and McAdams were in 'The Notebook' because nobody knew better. That was one of his first adapatations. Also, they elevated the material, see any other adaptation.

Posted by: kilmo at December 12, 2011 11:31 AM

I was worried that boy's looks weren't going to look good on a man. I'm quite happy to see I may be wrong.

Also, I hate that Nicholas Sparks has a career, but if it brings us sexy!Zefron, I'm OK.

Posted by: Donut Plains at December 12, 2011 12:24 PM

Sweet Jesus! He is a very pretty man.

Posted by: Austin at December 12, 2011 12:43 PM

I never watched the Notebook or any of of Sparks' movies but Damn if I don't wanna see this. Yes it looks cheesy and I'm not a romantic movie person but I really want to see this. That boy is sexy!

Posted by: sarah at December 12, 2011 1:22 PM

Nice to see that Zac finally went thru puberty.

Posted by: Drake at December 12, 2011 1:25 PM

I am SOOOOOOOOOO sick of actors/actresses/singers named Taylor. I really have no comment whatsoever on this movie. I feel like if anyone forgot the name of the famous person they were talking about I could yell out "Taylor" and about 75% of the time I would be right.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at December 12, 2011 1:41 PM

I always hated Zac Efron for many reason 1 being the lack of H in his name. But he is looking hot these days - all grown up. But isn't this chick a little old for him?

Posted by: jenniferk525 at December 12, 2011 1:46 PM

Oh God, somewhere a lonely 50-something woman surrounded by cats and empty Häagen-Daz containers just spontaneously orgasmed.

Geez, TK, don't be hatin'!

Posted by: MM at December 12, 2011 2:47 PM

P.S. Zac Efron's attempt at manliness is ridiculous and fugly; I don't know what y'all are smokin' up-thread there.

Posted by: MM at December 12, 2011 2:49 PM

I think I speak for us all when I say Efr-off, Efron.

Posted by: Bert at December 12, 2011 3:05 PM

Yeah, no, sorry, you're never going to convince me buffed up and naked Efron is not awesome. Yowser - I completely called this two years ago.

This is totally going to be my Snakes on a Plane, because this looks as craptastic as Strippers vs. Werewolves.

Guys, opening day, I'm totally there.

Posted by: Laurie at December 12, 2011 3:35 PM

Apparently the extra Efron all went to the upper torso region, and I am okay with that.

Posted by: Lauren at December 12, 2011 3:39 PM

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the story takes place in coastal North Carolina and someone will die or at least be handicapped. But you know, I'm just totally guessing here.

Posted by: LaRhue at December 12, 2011 6:27 PM

A nauseating landslide of schmaltz. What if that was literally true? I disgust myself. No, wait, you disgust me.

For those not in the inner circle, schmaltz is rendered fat, usually chicken fat. You're welcome.

Posted by: SaBrina at December 12, 2011 11:32 PM

For those not in the inner circle, schmaltz is rendered fat, usually chicken fat. You're welcome.

Posted by: SaBrina at December 12, 2011 11:32 PM
---
Annnnnnnnnd now for some reason I have a craving to break my McDonald's boycott.

Posted by: , at December 12, 2011 11:47 PM

Don't forget the last part of the Adaptation-bot 2000: Someone ALWAYS dies.

Posted by: Even Stevens at December 13, 2011 12:40 AM

Even Stevens is right... which, embarrassingly is probably the only reason I wont see this.

I never Ever thought I'd say this, but grown-up Efron is pretty hot.

Let's be honest... even the recent films that have an attractive guy have been heavy on sex and light on romance. It sucks that Sparks movies are the only ones remembering the women/romantics (and NO Twilight does not count).

Maybe this only looks so tempting because I'm comparing it to twilight...

Posted by: Kat at December 13, 2011 6:49 AM

Oh dear lord in heaven. I had no idea Efron had that in him. Sold.

Posted by: Mel C. at December 13, 2011 1:47 PM

Great Nicholas Sparks pre-show game, try to pick which character has the terminal illness before watching.

Posted by: Steve at December 13, 2011 4:46 PM