The Losers Trailer

The First Trailer for DC Comics' The Losers Gloriously Lacks Success

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (28)

Earlier this month, the trailer for The A-Team set the bar for Black Eyed Peas level of Let’s-Get-Retarded action pics for 2010. The trailer for The Losers, which is essentially about a rag-tag group of A-Team rejects, can’t even muster up a parachuting tank. What’s the point? If you’re going to make a movie with a gratuitous amount of tar, then you’ve got to top a parachuting tank, buddy.

The Losers, which is loosely based on the arc of the first issue of the DC Comic, features a pretty decent cast, just not for this particular style of movie: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Idris Elba (Stringer!), Zoe Saldana, and Jason Patric. In other words, everyone’s fourth choice. Chris Evans also stars, and this is how bad The Losers is — freakin’ Johnny Storm is the tech geek.

The great thing about the trailer, though, is that you don’t have to turn your brain off to watch it — 90 seconds in, and your brain will short out on its own. Good luck jump-starting it. (Ask a friend to lick your eyeball — works every time).

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Comments

Sorry I can't think...was that Zoe Saldana writhing around in her underwear? Blackguiver?

Posted by: yocean at January 30, 2010 1:04 PM

Query:
What kind of kick does one of those rocket launcher things have when it fires? Would a tiny little woman like that be able to stand there all nonchalantly and fire one without getting knocked flat on her bony ass? Bad-ass chick or not, she seems a little small to pull that off.
Someone enlighten me.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 30, 2010 1:32 PM

Everyone's fourth choice?

More like everyone's last resort after the fourth choice declines to take part.

I mean,Jason fucking Patrick?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 30, 2010 1:49 PM

Oh come on, it's not nearly as brain-rapingly bad as the A-Team trailer. Y'all play too much.

Posted by: rich diculous at January 30, 2010 2:35 PM

Would someone please take Stringer to one of those boarded up apartments and put him out of his fuckin' misery?

Posted by: Orrin Hatch at January 30, 2010 3:29 PM

It already wins over the A Team for having JDM in it. But it'd be better anyway, that A Team one didn't do much for me. Although it would be nice to have a trailer for anything these days which didn't seemingly give every damn thing away. I don't need to know the whole plot to determine whether I'll go see it trailer makers.

Posted by: Carrie at January 30, 2010 4:01 PM

Lindsey,

That's a recoil-less launcher, that's why there's the big gout of flame out the back. Designed to let the less-than-physically-perfect pack a punch, as long as they make sure no one is standing behind them.

Posted by: alone in the dark at January 30, 2010 4:43 PM

What kind of kick does one of those rocket launcher things have when it fires?

Well, recoil is mostly the exhaust gases pushing back on the weapon. With a rocket launcher, the exhaust usually vents out the back, reducing recoil. Otherwise, it would break the operator's arm.

Besides, I believe Ms. Saldana is operating under "Rae Dawn Chong Rules".Established in the landmark case of John Matrix v. Entire Nation's Worth of Mercenaries Stupid Enough To Kidnap His Daughter*, it has been established that even the most slight of frame can manage the largest of anti-tank weaponry if given enough time/awkward posing.

Anyway, both this and A-Team look a damn sight better than G.I. Joe, so I am not fucking complaining.

*You can learn more about this case by watching the A&E documentary Commando.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 30, 2010 4:52 PM

Jeffrey Dean Morgan kicks ass. And Chris Evans is really good, even if all he's ever been good in is crap movies (check him out in Sunshine if you can stand it).

This could be good. It could.

Posted by: Jerce at January 30, 2010 5:17 PM

I...I can't. My affection for Zoe and Idris forbids it. Perhaps when it comes out on DVD I will Netflix it. Right now I can't even look.

Posted by: greer at January 30, 2010 5:19 PM

Looks better than A-Team.

Posted by: Mick J at January 30, 2010 5:27 PM

I just recently finished the comic series this is based on. I think the casting is pretty good, except for Zoe Saldana. It looks like they are totally changing the character from the comic in a major, major way that's kind of lame.

The trailer doesn't look that good. The comic was pretty good. Not great, but decent. I found it really annoying that the writer kept using "ta" in place of "to" for lot of the characters.

Posted by: ForbiddenDonut at January 30, 2010 5:27 PM

Hey BarbadoSlim nuts,
Jason friggin Patric? Have you ever seen RUSH? AFTER DARK MY SWEET? THE BEAST? NARC? YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS? yeah I didnt think so numbnuts. Your reference points are limited to Lost Boys and Speed2.
The guy is one of the best actors working, when he decides to work, PERIOD.
He might make this thing watchable.

Posted by: Pauliono at January 30, 2010 6:43 PM

You forgot Downloading Nancy and Expired there, fanboy.

Compelling cinema...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 30, 2010 6:50 PM

EXPIRED was hysterical. I saw it at Sundance three years ago and his performance was praised by Hollywood Reporter as most daring of festival. Plus he won best actor at Stockholm film festival for Expired. Ever watch his monologue in YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS? Should have won an Oscar.
Nothing worse than snarky, ignorant, hidden bloggers like BarbadoSlimwit. No film knowledge, zero understanding of choice or business mechanism.

Posted by: pauliono at January 30, 2010 7:22 PM

Damn. That sucks. I loved the comics and the artwork was amazing.

Posted by: ang at January 30, 2010 9:11 PM

Eh, I just want to try that thing with the finger guns and a sniper. Do snipers have to wear those hats? Is it in the contract?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at January 30, 2010 10:10 PM

Thanks for the info guys. I always wondered about that.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 31, 2010 1:36 AM

OK, I have to admit it looks bad, but I refuse to believe that it can be with JDM and Idris in it. It might just be a bad trailer. I'm sure it's just a bad trailer. Totally. It'll be great.

Posted by: Fiona at January 31, 2010 3:52 AM

Oh my god, while I was watching the trailer I totally realized that I wasn't really watching it. My brain switched off. I looked down at the time, and I shit you not it was at a minute and a half. 90 seconds.

Prognosticator of prognosticators.

Anyway, it's still playing above; and I still do not care.

Posted by: superasente at January 31, 2010 11:10 AM

Chris Evans charm,and Blackguiver made the trailer bearable.
What is unbearable is yes, the teeny woman firing a rocket launcher like she was spitting spit balls.

Also, I know Jeffrey Dean Morgan is getting on but WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM?! He's aged at least 20 years in eighteen months.

Posted by: Nadine at January 31, 2010 1:54 PM

Nothing worse than snarky, ignorant, hidden bloggers like BarbadoSlimwit. No film knowledge, zero understanding of choice or business mechanism.

Posted by: pauliono at January 30, 2010 7:22 PM

-------------------------------------------

Lucky for me you are here to quote all your knowledge provided via "The Hollywood Reporter." Maybe Mr. Patrick (or should I call him Brando reborn?) should keep reaching for that Oscar instead of this straight-to-DVD quality crap. What does the Hollywood Reporter say about that?

/My opinion, deal with it

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 31, 2010 2:55 PM

Awwww fuck . . . pauliono is going to wind up in BarbadoSlim's basment pit of cannibal midgets. I'll bring the popcorn.

Posted by: Nurse EagerBeaverBaby at January 31, 2010 4:46 PM

BSlim, I think the problem here is proper name usage. You forgot to capitalize the "F" in Jason "Fucking" Patric.

You're welcome.

Posted by: greer at January 31, 2010 4:56 PM

I just wondered upon watching that...Did anyone actually read the comic? Anyone? Maybe Chris Evens. But that looks nothing like the comic.

Posted by: Sean at January 31, 2010 10:38 PM

I have to agree, PAtric is a killer badass actor. Rush, Narc, and Beast rock.
Barbados did Patric nail your girl backdoor?

Posted by: K Roid at February 1, 2010 1:41 PM

Patric = Great

Barbados Slim= jerked off chicken+ gheri curl

Posted by: DISS Ease at February 1, 2010 6:20 PM

Close ur eyes... Save all the sweet memories in ur heart... Think of all beautiful things in ur life & surrender urself to sweet dreams.

Posted by: Vivian Lyn Equity at July 2, 2010 3:05 PM

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The First Trailer for DC Comics' The Losers Gloriously Lacks Success

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