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Why You Gotta Slaughter on the Dolphins?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (19)

TheCove1.jpg

Here’s the trailer for The Cove, which Peter Travers described as “Flipper meets The Bourne Identity, which of course means nothing because nothing Peter Travers says is worth the glossy toilet paper he’s printed on. Still, The Cove, which has been playing the festival rounds, has very strong word of mouth behind it. And it’s strangely compelling.

It’s about the slaughter of dolphins in Japan. Richard O’Barry, who was the trainer behind the television series, “Flipper,” feels a little guilty, apparently, for creating this domesticated dolphin industry, and he and a crew go to Japan to uncover the abusive practices involved therein. To do so, it appears as though they had to maneuver around a lot of authorities.

Hayden Panettiere cries, too. Just so you know what you’re getting into.









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Comments

*tummy growls*

i haven't had breakfast.

Posted by: gp at June 16, 2009 10:36 AM

Hayden Panettiere cries, too. Just so you know what you’re getting into.

I actually do still harbour mad respect for Hayden P for going down and protesting this. Honest to God, after that she can do no wrong.

This actually looks like a really good movie, in spite of Peter Travers, and I really do kinda want to see it badly.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at June 16, 2009 10:37 AM

Oh come on, if dolphins had opposable thumbs they'd be commenting on Pajiba with the rest of us.

With their penchant for getting freaky with everything in the sea, including sea turtles and each others blowholes, they're practically the Pajiba mascot.

Posted by: twig at June 16, 2009 10:41 AM

"That? That's a dolphin. That's what they put in the cans of tuna to make 'em taste good."

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 16, 2009 10:44 AM

Ah, the true Chicken of The Sea.

Posted by: admin at June 16, 2009 10:55 AM

I actually do still harbour mad respect for Hayden P for going down
---
I won't make the obvious joke.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 16, 2009 10:59 AM

I'm with Jeremy on this, Hayden put herself between a bunch of lunatic fishermen with hooks, and some dolphins, the lady is a bad ass and sort of my hero a lil bit.

This looks like a helluvan intense doc, I shall be catching it, though, the dolphin squealing right at the end of the advert may have given me numbness on my left side.

Is it wrong that I'd kick Wall-E down a concrete staircase, but you mess with Dolphins and The Cheerleader and I'll punch you in the damned neck.

Posted by: Nadine at June 16, 2009 11:04 AM

I'm not understanding the Bourne Identity part of this. Does a dolphin lose its memory? Or are the underwater camera shots all Greengrass shaky cam.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at June 16, 2009 11:20 AM

"Oh come on, if dolphins had opposable thumbs...

I'm gonna stop what you said right there, twig. If dolphins had opposable thumbs, humankind as we know it would cease to exist. All of us, regardless of race, religion, or height, would be packed like sardines in underwater chum factories. Soylent Chum would be the new currency throughout the ocean, thus making dolphins the Rulers of the Deep. Sure, there's be a few sharks trying to muscle in on the action, but once dolphins have mastered the six-shooter, all bets are off...

Posted by: Skitz at June 16, 2009 11:21 AM

"...there's be sharks..."

That wasn't a typo. That's pirate-talk. F'reals...

Posted by: Skitz at June 16, 2009 11:23 AM

Skitz,

The Onion agrees.

Posted by: twig at June 16, 2009 11:33 AM

I'm sorry, but every last one of those bottle-nosed bastards deserves to die. Did you know that 90% of California forest fires are caused by dolphins? They have been been trying to expand their kingdom for years! FLIPPER?! Flipper is their indoctrination video for their land minions like Sea World trainers, cruise captains, and Somalian pirates. I'm not an only child. THEY ATE MY SISTER WHOLE! Then... then they swam off in a perfect V formation on their tail fins, laughing... laughing into the night. So I'll say this: Every time a dolphin dies, a burn victim gets a skin graft!

Posted by: jM at June 16, 2009 11:44 AM

They're evil it has to be true. It was on The Simpsons.

Posted by: admin at June 16, 2009 11:47 AM

Dolphins are not as cute as you would think, since they're as smart as pigs, they're probably just as mean as pigs. Plus, they're the only animals other than us known for killing things for fun.

There's no problem with the Japanese and Icelanders killing dolphins as long as they don't go over the sustainable limit. I know I'm in the minority around here about that, but it doesn't make it any less true.

Posted by: George at June 16, 2009 11:55 AM

Maybe I spend too much time on Deceiver, but I am not a friend of Hayden P. Either that or every time I channel surf one of those not-real Bring it Ons comes on and I die a little inside. Yes, short round, your a blonde chick in a less-than aryan school, SO SCARY! And before anyone starts to bitch at me... Yes it takes amazing courage to do what she did on a surf board, but that doesn't mean I have to believe she's the next big thing. But honestly, if dolphins tasted delicious between two sesame seed buns, would any of us care? *cue pitchforks*

Anyway, I had to watch that clip to see how it was like Flipper and/or Bourne Identity. I left with more questions than I came in.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 16, 2009 12:30 PM

Fuck.

You're. Not your. I'm going to the gym to sweat out the stupid.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 16, 2009 12:33 PM

Dolphins are not remotely as intelligent or badass as octopi. Yet, the octopi get no freaking love.
Yes, they do get to battle giant sharks, but do they get to eat the 747? NO, they give that scene to the shark. Octopus's are stuck in no-man's land, where they aren't absolutely evil (sharks) or good (dolphins). Where the hell are the stupid fucking starlets protesting them getting eaten? No, dumb bitches go straight for the "cute" animal. Also, octopi inspire tentacle porn which we all know is far sexier than your standard dolphin blowhole love-session.

Giant Octopus >>>> Octopus >>>>> Giant Shark >>>> Sea Cucumber >>>>> Dolphin >>>> Hayden McBlondiebits

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at June 16, 2009 1:00 PM

Luker is right about Octopi. I've heard stories of octopi getting bored, rearranging pipes in their tanks, and flooding whole aquariums. For fun.

They also taste better than dolphin. Winners all round, really.

Posted by: redfeathers at June 16, 2009 11:37 PM

The best thing I've heard about octopi is that a bunch of evolutionary scientists were asked to imagine what animal would be at the top of the food chain in 50,000 years.
Their answer? Carnivorous octopi that live in trees, and farm smaller mammals for their meat.

I want to freeze myself for 50,000 years just so I can wake up and see that.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at June 17, 2009 1:49 AM