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The Traile for -- WAKE UP -- The Burning --- WAKE UP -- Plain

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (34)



burning-plain-big--12.jpg

I’ve been careful to avoid running a post on The Burning Plain trailer, in large part because each time I’ve attempted to watch it, I’ve fallen asleep. However, one of our illustrious readers requested that we cover it, so here we are. The Burning Plain is the directorial debut of Oscar-nominated screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga (Babel, 21 Grams, Amores Perros, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada), and while he has a fairly impeccable screen-writing track record, The Burning Plain seems as though it has a case of trying-too-goddamn-hard-itis. It stars Charlize Theron and Kim Basinger, who appear to be wiping the screen up and down with their actressin’, as though attempting to out-glum one another. Frankly, the movie looks about as exciting as watching already dried paint flake and peel over the course of years.

The movie is scheduled for release on September 18th, but if you’re bored, or you want to be bored, it’s already available on video-on-demand, XBOX Live, and Amazon, so you can be the first to brag to all your friends about that movie that cured your insomnia!

Here’s the trailer. I’d recommend toothpicks to keep your eyelids open.


Here’s the official description, which you know is official because the title is in ALL CAPS.

From writer/director Guillermo Arriaga comes THE BURNING PLAIN, a romantic mystery about a woman on the edge who takes an emotional journey back to the defining moment of her life. Oscar-winner Charlize Theron plays Sylvia, a beautiful restaurant manager whose cool, professional demeanor masks the sexually charged storm within. When a stranger from Mexico confronts her with her mysterious past, Sylvia is launched into a journey through space and time that inextricably connects her to these disparate characters, all of whom are grappling with their own romantic destinies.

In Mexico, a young motherless girl, Maria (Tessa Ia), lives happily with her father and his best friend until a tragic accident changes it all. In the New Mexico border town of Las Cruces, two teenagers, Mariana (Jennifer Lawrence) and Santiago (JD Pardo), find love in the aftermath of their parents’ sudden deaths. In an abandoned trailer, a housewife, Gina (Oscar-winner Kim Basinger), embarks on a passionate affair that will put Sylvia and the others on a collision course with the explosive power of forbidden love.










Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon | Zombieland International Trailer













Comments

I think with just a little bit of creative editing, this movie could be awesome. For example:

From writer/director Guillermo Arriaga comes THE BURNING [PLANET], a ... [space odyssey] about a woman on the edge who takes [a] ... journey back to the defining moment of her life. Oscar-winner Charlize Theron plays Sylvia, a beautiful [space pirate] whose cool, professional demeanor masks the sexually charged storm within. When a stranger from [Mars] confronts her with her mysterious past, Sylvia is launched into a journey through space and time that inextricably connects her to [strange and fascinating] characters, all of whom are grappling with their own ... destinies.

[O]n [Mars], a young motherless [alien] girl, Maria[nna] (Tessa Ia), lives ... with her father and his best friend until [the beginning of the Galatica War] changes it all. [O]n the ... border [planet] of Las Cruces, two [space traders], Mariana (Jennifer Lawrence) and Santiago (JD Pardo), [seek vengeance] ... [after] ... their parents’ sudden deaths. In an abandoned [space station], a [former Colonial Marine Admiral], Gina (Oscar-winner Kim Basinger), embarks on a [dangerous mission] that will put Sylvia and the others on a collision course with the explosive [sexual] power [and prowess] of the Forbiddendonut.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 26, 2009 9:12 AM

Maybe it's just the small screen size, but I couldn't tell the women apart, or the men for that matter.

Entire movie script:

Blond woman: "Hi"

Blond woman: "Hi"

Blond woman: Headgesture to indicate "Hi"

Blond woman: "How are you?"

Blond woman: "High"

Blond woman: "Hi"

Posted by: BWeaves at August 26, 2009 9:13 AM

Nothing with the words "forbidden love" will ever be good.

Seriously, who writes these Jesopus-awful descriptions?

Posted by: Cindy at August 26, 2009 9:13 AM

Right there with you, BWeaves. A lot of blonds, a lot of scruffy guys, and absolutely nothing else in between. Couldn't make head or tails of who was doing what with whom, nor did I care. There seemed to be a lot of walking and Meaningful Looks.

Posted by: DeadBessie at August 26, 2009 9:22 AM

needs more zombies.

Posted by: gp at August 26, 2009 9:27 AM

I'd give donut's movie a shot. This ... thing? Wouldn't be caught dead.
+++
Maybe it's just the small screen size, but I couldn't tell the women apart, or the men for that matter.
---
Agreed. When I saw

THREE WOMEN

I went, "Wha ...?" *counts on fingers: 1, 2 ...*
+++
Seriously, who writes these Jesopus-awful descriptions?
---
Word. I've read more credible plot summaries on the backs of Harlequin novels.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy), at August 26, 2009 9:32 AM

Forbiddendonut, I'd like to modify your script just a tad.

A young motherless girl lives with her father and his best friend until they are eaten alive by zombies. On the border of Las Cruces, Mariana (Jennifer Lawrence) and Santiago (JD Pardo) seek vengeance for their parents’ sudden deaths, but they are eaten alive by zombies. In an abandoned space station, a former Colonial Marine Admiral, Gina (Oscar-winner Kim Basinger) embarks on a dangerous mission. But alas, she is eaten alive by zombies. Forbiddendonut searches for someone with whom to share his sexual power and prowess, but...

Posted by: Cindy at August 26, 2009 9:34 AM

"needs more zombies."

What doesn't?

Posted by: TK at August 26, 2009 9:34 AM

I'd see Cindy's movie, but only if it were a musical. Zombie dancing is a must.

"Eaten By Zombies"-the new smash Broadway hit.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at August 26, 2009 9:43 AM

"needs more zombies."

"What doesn't?"

Your basement. Gettin' cramped down there, buddy.

Posted by: Sean at August 26, 2009 9:45 AM

Cindy, I love collaborations and will never, ever turn down the addition of zombies in a script. Ever.

One thing, I would greatly prefer if I were able to share his sexual power and prowess with Charlize Theron. Perhaps I could meet Syliva (and her sexually charged storm within), things go as nature intended, and then she gets eaten by zombies, thus giving me pathos, something to brood about, and fuels my rage against the zombie hoardes. I think the script truly calls for Sylvia's "sexually charged storm within" to collide with Forbiddendonut's sexual power and prowess. This is not me talking, it's the script.

Sadly, Mrcreosote, I cannot abide dancing zombies. Zombies do not dance, do not smile, do not have personalties, do not talk, do not have jobs, and do not have any higher brain functions. They want to eat our flesh and nothing else. They are mindless, flesh-eating through-a-horrible-looking-glass images of ourselves and must be destroyed.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 26, 2009 9:52 AM

What about some bidden love? The only forbidden love I can think of is with immediate family and your beagle. You can talk me into most anything else. Unless that bitch is crazy. Then she makes the list.

Posted by: Kballs at August 26, 2009 9:59 AM

Modified script:

Oscar-winner Charlize Theron plays Sylvia, a beautiful restaurant manager whose cool, professional demeanor masks the sexually charged storm within. When a stranger from Mexico (Adult Film Award winner, Forbiddendonut) confronts her with her mysterious past, Sylvia is overwhelmed by his sexual power and prowess. But their torrid affair is cut short when Sylvia is eaten alive by zombies.

A young motherless girl lives with her father and his best friend until they are eaten alive by zombies. On the border of Las Cruces, Mariana (Jennifer Lawrence) and Santiago (JD Pardo) seek vengeance for their parents’ sudden deaths, but they are eaten alive by zombies. In an abandoned space station, a former Colonial Marine Admiral, Gina (Oscar-winner Kim Basinger) embarks on a dangerous mission. But alas, she is eaten alive by zombies.

Forbiddendonut embarks on what will be the revenge oddessey of his life, as he attempts to take on an army of zombies on THE PLAIN, BURNING PLANET.

Posted by: Cindy at August 26, 2009 10:08 AM

In the New Mexico border town of Las Cruces, two teenagers, Mariana (Jennifer Lawrence) and Santiago (JD Pardo), find love in the aftermath of their parents’ sudden deaths.

Wait...I thought the trailer made it pretty clear that Kim Basinger's character was the teenage girl's mother...now I'm really confused.

Posted by: Annie_Reckson at August 26, 2009 10:13 AM

Not even a little popping and locking? I know zombie canon is that relentless flesh eating is the norm, but I believe that if zombies were taught some basic moves they'd...holy shit, they're here, kill them KILL SDAADFGFSDFG>......

Crap, you're right Forbiddendonut. Chainsaws and machetes from now on.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at August 26, 2009 10:20 AM


Posted by: Cindy at August 26, 2009 10:08 AM

Cindy, excellent job. I am down with this. Our work is done here. All we have to do now is get this baby greenlit, sit back, and wait for the Oscar nominations to roll in.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 26, 2009 10:21 AM

"Your basement. Gettin' cramped down there, buddy."

*puts Sean on the list*

Posted by: TK at August 26, 2009 11:04 AM

Hey, was that Bucho? Between kisses, does he go around killin' people, and stuff?

Posted by: Rykker at August 26, 2009 11:04 AM

HA HA HA! God, that trailer is brilliant. I love the way it tries to spunk things up by having almighty noises resound after every single mundane line, as if it were a Michael Bay film.

"I'm just going to the shop..."

BOOM!

"... to buy some soda"

CRASH!

Posted by: Caspar at August 26, 2009 11:10 AM

I've always believed that "interfering suits" were what was wrong with Hollywood, but here at Pajiba Pictures, the "suits" make everything better (with porn and Zombies)!

Posted by: ed newman at August 26, 2009 11:12 AM

Oscar-winner Charlize Theron plays Sylvia, a beautiful restaurant manager whose cool, professional demeanor masks the sexually charged storm within.

What kind of a storm are we talking about here? It seems like the marketing would like you to believe it's Category 5 weather correspondent getting blown around in a rain suit, but it definitely seems more like a partly cloudy day in San Diego. At best it may be a light shower, enough to get everything moist.

Posted by: branded at August 26, 2009 11:32 AM

Forbittendonut and Cindy:

I like your Modified Script, but I'd like to add one thing, if I may.

Modified Modified Script: In My Pants

Oscar-winner Charlize Theron plays Sylvia, a beautiful restaurant manager whose cool, professional demeanor masks the sexually charged storm within. When a stranger from Mexico (Adult Film Award winner, Forbiddendonut) confronts her with her mysterious past, Sylvia is overwhelmed by his sexual power and prowess. Sylvia says, "I'd nail you like a board over a broken window during a zombie invasion." Ironically, their torrid affair is cut short when Sylvia is eaten alive by zombies.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 26, 2009 11:43 AM

"Wait...I thought the trailer made it pretty clear that Kim Basinger's character was the teenage girl's mother...now I'm really confused."

Posted by: Annie_Reckson at August 26, 2009 10:13 AM

Annie: I was confused about that, too. Maybe the girl's father was eaten by zombies?

Posted by: BWeaves at August 26, 2009 11:46 AM

BWeaves nailed it with the dialogue.
All we needed was Uncle Hy to enter and showoff his sexual "proweress"

Posted by: Odnon at August 26, 2009 12:07 PM

Today's forecast for my sexually charged storm within is moany with highs in the upper wake the neighbors and lows in lower soft whimpers. Chance of getting some is 90% with a 60% chance of oral. Back to you, branded.

Posted by: jM at August 26, 2009 12:10 PM

Funny dialogue, BWeaves.

Posted by: Cindy at August 26, 2009 12:27 PM

However, one of our illustrious readers requested that we cover it, so here we are

You know where I wish we were? On a review of Rescue Me.

Am I the only person that watches that show? Come on, how many times do I have to request it.

Maybe if I ask really, really nicely I can get someone to cover it.

Pretty, pretty please? With a cherry on top??

Posted by: ashes at August 26, 2009 12:41 PM

I love Rescue Me too, ashes. Plus this has been something of a renaissance season.

The "orange cheese doodle" scene was priceless.

Posted by: ed newman at August 26, 2009 12:58 PM

That scene was truly priceless ed,

"Please tell me why your dick looks like a mini bald George Hamilton"

"It looks like you cut your dick off and sent it to Miami for the weekend."

Posted by: ashes at August 26, 2009 1:27 PM

A warm front moved in this morning just as I woke up, so I called in a masternado for about two minutes and it's been sunny and dry since.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy), at August 26, 2009 1:33 PM

I adore Rescue Me. I too have been somewhat surprised by the apathy towards it on this site.

I understand the Orange Doodle is teal now. "You do the math."

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at August 26, 2009 1:42 PM

Yay Rescue Me ! but why must they kill a character every year? Sooo predictable. It's like Shakepeare and Job writing the screenplays. Oh right Irish. Nevermind.

Lou's revenge- sweet. Bar-ba-ruh...

Posted by: amanda47 at August 26, 2009 2:00 PM

I really like Rescue Me, too. Sheila's speech to Tommy was fanfuckingtastic!

Posted by: Lainey at August 26, 2009 2:56 PM

yet saw the movie and Theron and Basinger are really great!

Posted by: carrie at August 26, 2009 3:22 PM


















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