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The Bridesmaids Marketing Machine Wants You To Know What Sex With Jon Hamm Would Be Like

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (31)



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I’ve been getting more and more excited with each bit of Bridesmaids promotion I see. This new Red Band trailer, for example, has the lovely ladies cursing up a storm and some delightful Hamm-o-sexual action. NSFW-ish.

However, I confess, I’m not totally in love with these Character Posters. As with the the header photos, the chicas are supporting delightfully pissy expressions and fatigued poses, but it’s like the marketing department was aiming for Seriously Random List and landed somewhere in Seriously Bland Stereotypes. Also, “Maid of Dishonor??” Our Pajiba readers sneeze better wordplay, marketeers. Scroll down to the bottom and then we’ll have a little chat about what it going on with Melissa McCarthy’s waist.

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Yeah, okay, kudos, marketeers, for not calling her “The Fat One,” but way to photoshoposuction the hell out of your actress. If you’ve never watched “Gilmore Girls” (your loss) or that pile of CBScrement “Mike and Molly,” you may not be aware of Melissa McCarthy. She’s adorable and charming but the picture below gives a better indication of her actual circumference.

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Hell, photoshopping happens. Happens all the time to actresses who are already rail-thin. But I did rather hope that this movie was going for something a little cooler than that. I know Wiig et. al. don’t have control over the marketing machine, but that kind of blatant manipulation really pisses me off.

Speaking of things that piss me of, I can’t really explain why I still watch “Glee.” (I can, it’s for things like Kurt’s Sunset Boulevard number which he completely knocked out of the park and into the next zip code.) The writing is horrible and the acting is, for the most part, very sh*tty, but can we discuss (in brief) the t-shirt thing at the end of last night’s episode? Each character was supposed to write some aspect of themselves they were “born with” which makes their life harder but which they are trying to “own.” So Kurt wrote something about his homosexuality, Mr. Schuester wrote “Butt Chin” (should have been “Ass Hat,” but whatever) and the two overweight females wrote something about their race (“No Weave”) and personality (“Bad Attitude”).

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What’s up with that? Once again, I’m not looking for the “Fat Chick” label to be thrown around, and you could argue that being overweight is not something you’re “born” with. But neither is a “Bad Attitude,” right? Is there anything wrong with being overweight? Well, one can argue that health-wise there is, so perhaps the show doesn’t want to be seen advocating poor health choices. But we’re embracing Gay (as well we should) and OCD and not touching the overweight thing? I just found it off-putting and weird and dishonest. But, then again, that sums up a lot of what happens on “Glee.”

Joanna Robinson didn’t mean to go off on a “Glee” tirade. These things just happen sometimes. She also apologizes for “Hamm-o-sexual” but will stand by “CBScrement.” By, not in. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

Sookie!

(Yes, every time.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 4:08 PM

What did you expect from a film that puts every other female into Afternoon Cocktails dresses but puts the heavy one into Middle-Aged Lesbian Golf Club Casual?

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 27, 2011 4:10 PM

Ha! I assume figgy is at work, Mrs. J., or else she would have already run through this thread screaming "HAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!"

Also, if they make Simon from Pirate Radio the love interest in Bridesmaids, I will be very pleased indeed. What, no one else loved that movie? STUFF IT.

Posted by: coveredinbees at April 27, 2011 4:17 PM

Were they having a contest to see who could thrust their hips furthest from their center of gravity? Actually that would explain the photoshopping, as a wider women would have a pretty distinct advantage there.

That Glee thing just...confused me. I mean I was born with no weave too.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 27, 2011 4:20 PM

Speaking as a not svelte person who spent her time wedding dress shopping saying*, "Who do I have to f*ck to get sleeves?", I actually applaud what they did to Sookie's dress. Have you been to a wedding where the women looked like they've been poured into their bridesmaid dresses and forgot to say when? I spent my best friend's wedding in a strapless dress that made me feel like I was naked at a PTA meeting. I would have loved sleeves!

*Over time, it became more of a shrieking really.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 4:23 PM

I find Hamm empirically-attractive, but he does not engender in me feelings such as might require me to loosen my stays. I steal him from Figgy purely out of spite!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 4:29 PM

Oh yes, I dig Sookie's sleeves. In fact, I'd shop at a store called Sookie's Sleeves.

Posted by: coveredinbees at April 27, 2011 4:31 PM

My new favourite word...

...undercarriage.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at April 27, 2011 4:33 PM

to continue your glee rant, Brittany and Puck had stoopid/stupid shirts... which in the case of Brittany is pretty true and Puck's was funny but pointless. I did enjoy Sam's trouty mouth though, that gave me a good giggle.


What? Oh this is a post for Bridesmaids? Right. This movie looks pretty funny, I love Sookie and Rose Byrne (although someone needs to get her a sandwich like NOW). Also, mmmm Hamm.

Posted by: Even Stevens at April 27, 2011 4:35 PM

Also, if they make Simon from Pirate Radio the love interest in Bridesmaids, I will be very pleased indeed. What, no one else loved that movie? STUFF IT.
Posted by: coveredinbees at April 27, 2011 4:17 PM

I LOVE that movie! So so awesome. Plus, duh, The IT Crowd. Chris O'Dowd is my new favorite Irishman.

Also if I saw this I'd have to watch a disc worth of Gilmore Girls because they made Melissa McCarthy so VERY VERY awkward. Not cool, not cool.

Posted by: grace b at April 27, 2011 4:38 PM

"undercarriage" was one of Mum's words for privates. She also used "feminine gender". We are terribly WASP despite all the Scottishness. She once mailed me Easter chocolate in an old scotch tube. She would have beem wearing pearls at the time.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 4:43 PM

What the hell is this article about? A Bridesmaids movie? Glee? Discrimination?

Posted by: logan at April 27, 2011 4:43 PM

All of the abovery?

Posted by: coveredinbees at April 27, 2011 4:45 PM

So nice to see that the fat chick is actually fat. I speak as a fat chick here, that every time Hollywood throws a woman with 5 extra pounds at me and screams "OMG OBESE" I want to hurt and scream and throw buckets of full-fat cottage cheese at them.

Was about to hurl some curds again when i scrolled down and saw the "actual circumference" shot.

Curd crisis averted.

Posted by: meh at April 27, 2011 4:50 PM

Aaarrrghhh! My damn work computer is keeping me from a little Hamm-o-liciousness! Now I really can't wait to get home.

Oh, and thanks for your comments on Glee. I'm rapidly speeding through the "honeymoon phase" with this show. Last night's episode vaguely annoyed me (over and above the inclusion of the inexplicably popular and extremely annoying "Barbra Streisand" song) and I couldn't figure out why - now I have an answer!

Posted by: SugarKane at April 27, 2011 5:09 PM

People are really missing Figgy huh? Yea I could care less about this movie. I want to like it, I want to want to see it. I just don't I can't buy Kristin Wiig as the next dan ackroyd or even david spade.

no! rob schnieder was too easy.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at April 27, 2011 5:15 PM

Is it me or does Kristen Wiig look like a Final Fantasy character in that poster?

By the way, Ellie Kemper makes my 'nads tingle.

Posted by: ramzib at April 27, 2011 5:39 PM

Yes, I scrolled, but I had to look at the Ellie Kemper poster first. "The Innocent One" does nothing for me, I just like her is all.

I like Kristen Wiig when it's not SNL, but that's true for everyone on that show. Also, it just feels weird that she's competing with Rose Byrne. I mean, c'mon, we all know her Maya Rudolph isn't gonna choose the chick from Damages over her SNL sister.

Posted by: RobP at April 27, 2011 8:58 PM

................Ithinkmybrainmelted

Posted by: Figgy at April 27, 2011 9:41 PM

justatthetitleofthispost

Posted by: Figgy at April 27, 2011 9:44 PM

I have no opinion on the movie, but I'm definitely in favour of Pirate Radio. Loved that flick, 'twas fantastic and Bill Nighy is always awesome.

Hey, when does Wild Target come out? Did I miss it yet? I should queue that up and see if it was any good, because the trailers looked it.

Posted by: Wintermute at April 27, 2011 9:54 PM

Totally agree with you on "Glee" -- "(I can, it’s for things like Kurt’s Sunset Boulevard number which he completely knocked out of the park and into the next zip code.)" That number was amazing. Just make the show about him.

Posted by: Sarah Carlson at April 27, 2011 11:15 PM

I "fourth" the love for Pirate Radio. It was one of those fun surprises you get when you watch a movie and don't expect much. I rewatched it before my recent trip to England just to get in the mood.

My honeymoon phase is long over with Glee, in fact we've been bitterly divorced since the 2nd season premiere. Bad singing, bad acting, bad storylines, just bad. Artie's Safety Dance was the very last thing I remember fondly.I think Kurt's shrill voice and his "woe is me, I'm gay" sent me over the edge. I happen to like gay people who enjoy and accept being gay, not on the verge of tears every day. Whiny much?

Posted by: kirbyjay at April 28, 2011 9:23 AM

I can't shake the feeling that the only reason this movie was made was so that Wiig could have an excuse to have fake sex with Jon Hamm.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 28, 2011 10:20 AM

"What did you expect from a film that puts every other female into Afternoon Cocktails dresses but puts the heavy one into Middle-Aged Lesbian Golf Club Casual?"

- Y'know after many a forced viewing of "Gilmore Girls" by the Mrs.BJ1, I now can say that one complement I actually will give that show is that they always made Sookie look normal. Aside from being heavier than the other women, she still had nice hair, wore stylish clothes, and looked just as cute as her personality. She still went through the same things the other women did, and arguably at times more successfully. Sure she was heavy, fat, chubby, Reubenesque or any other euphemism, but she wasn't portrayed as a stereotypically buffoonish, slovenly, Farleyesque freak.

I know it seems harsh to make a complete judgement on this movie's view based solely on the trailer, but...damn. Are they saying that in addition to being overweight she has to be completely socially awkward, desperate and unattractive too? And unfortunately I can't be sure Melissa McCarthy wouldn't stoop so low to accept such a role because roles for heavy actors are at times hard to some by and given her current job on a sitcom being the collective target of constant cheap shots.

Is it possible for a heavy actor to just have a role and NOT have something lobbed at their expense? Just be the same as any other character and never have someone mention their physique. Or would that be asking too much of writers?

Posted by: bleujayone at April 28, 2011 11:53 AM

Argh!! Why did they make Sookie look like shit?!? Bah!

This only looks like it's good for a chuckle or two. I'm down with the simulated Jon Hamm sex, though I'd prefer the real thing, thank you kindly.

Posted by: Kala at April 28, 2011 12:46 PM

*pouts*

I expected the sex scene to be...less "SNL" than that. I waited until my fiance fell asleep to watch it, FFS.

...disappointed...going to watch Draper get slapped by a hooker mid-coitus AGAIN...

Posted by: anon33 at April 28, 2011 1:45 PM

This is getting a bit more subjective, however this is a great blog.keep up the good work.

Posted by: Gregory Despain at April 28, 2011 8:24 PM

So, at what point in the movie do the sistas gang up on the bride for not having a single black bridesmaid?

Posted by: sosgemini at April 29, 2011 9:32 AM

Bonjour, superb post! Truly helps my investigation on the subject

Posted by: Dietrine comprar at May 1, 2011 2:32 PM

Seriously? No comment on the photoshopping going on with everybody's faces? Maya Rodolph? Are you in there? What the hell??? I'm glad all I have to look at is the fun group poster because the rest of these are jacked up.

Posted by: valerie at May 13, 2011 10:38 PM