The Brand Spankin' New Star Trek Trailer Will Cumber Your Batch And Zach The Hell Out Of Your Quinto
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The Brand Spankin' New Star Trek Trailer Will Cumber Your Batch And Zach The Hell Out Of Your Quinto

By Joanna Robinson | Trailers | December 6, 2012 | Comments ()


This here is actually a trailer for the trailer of J.J. Abrams' star fleet sequel, Star Trek Into Darkness. I know, trailers of trailers. Babies having babies. Usually we leave that kind of nonsense alone, but this is Star Trek, and I, personally, am ready to lap up any drops of info that might possibly come our way.

There is an infinitessimally longer Japanese version that you can see here if you want 15 more seconds of Cumberbatchian voice over and rousing, insistent bassoons. (If that's not actually a snatch of The Dark Knight Rises score, it comes awfully close.) The film looks (unsurprisingly) gorgeous, and you have to admit it's exciting to see all the old familiar faces back in uniform. Start Trek Into Darkness opens May 17th, 2013 and the full trailer will be released next week.

H/T and air kisses to /Film.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • luckypete

    This is the perfect amount of trailer. Leaves you wanting more and not knowing the full plot of the movie.

  • llp

    Chris Pine has striking eyes, and him in his Starfleet uniform is pretty much a lock for my 2013 list. I am very, very excited for this movie. These two things are not entirely unrelated.

  • DarthCorleone

    Honestly? Doesn't look like a Star Trek movie. But it's just a teaser trying to get people hyped, so I'll reserve judgment.

  • the_wakeful

    Am I the only one that thinks this looks like an action movie that happens to be set in the Star Trek universe? It doesn't feel like a Star Trek movie. Hopefully it's just the way they cut the trailer.

  • Irina

    Windswept Spock? How come? Aren't Vulcans born with the power to manipulate weather so they don't mess up their hair?

  • annie

    Cumbervoice. Yes.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I am only moderately interested in Star Trek, but question: no comments on the photoshopping of Quinto's photo? He looks like wax.

  • sistercoyote

    For whatever reason, in the first round of promo shots for the original reboot of Star Trek (or, as we call it for shorthand purposes: Star Trek XI), the entire cast were photoshopped into the Uncanny Valley.

    I'm really, really hoping they don't do that again.

  • Maguita NYC

    All Muggled-Vulcans are born that waxy looking.

    Was that racist on my part..?

  • I am ridiculously excited about this, but I will never stop hating that title. Would it be so hard to include a colon?

  • FoZmantis

    Star Trek: Into Darkness debuts on...DENNIS HOPPER'S BIRTHDAY?!?! Holy kite flaying nun slapper. That's absolutely irrelevant.

  • Pausner

    Waiting for BSlim. Getting more and more impatient

  • My Batch is thoroughly Cumbered. And now I expect to be pulling for the bad guy. Or perhaps be pulled by. Either way works for me.

  • Maguita NYC

    Totally agree. Either way, we are definitely Batched and properly Cumbered. Which is always a very good feeling IMHO.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    Welcome to my life during TDKR.

  • Malky

    His voice sure sounds like he's doing a Khan impression

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Holy V'ger's butthole!

  • NateMan

    I just sported some hetero wood at Cumberbatch's voiceover. This is going to rock.

  • The Replicant Brooke

    Well cumber my batch indeed. That voice.

  • Maguita NYC

    Ragnar let May be here already!

    And to be honest, I've always fantasized of having my shy quinto completely and utterly zackered.

  • Ash

    Goddamn. All I can think of is how baby needs colostrum...

  • zeke_the_pig

    Cynicism and lens flare scarring aside, I'm looking forward to this. Gonna get nice and drunk, pile into a big screen cinema with some of my equally drunk astrophysicist mates and just get swept up in good-looking, enjoyable nonsense.
    (also Alice (cl)E(a)v(ag)e)

  • zeke_the_pig

    Although perhaps less drunk than when we watched the first one in a huge multiplex, covering a whole row, and on the delivery of the line, 'dammit, man, I'm a doctor not a physicist!' we all went fucking bonkers.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    I imagine that watching the Star Trek movies with astrophysicists is like watching Troy with history scholars.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Suffice it to say the booze was a necessity

  • Phaedre

    I would actually pay money to do that.

  • Return of Santitas

    How does one capture the noise of those bassoons in words? BWOOOMP. No, that's not right.

  • Zirza

    BWOOOMP is obviouly a contrabassoon, you nincompoop. A regular bassoon is anywhere between BWOOMP and TUUUT.

  • JoannaRobinson

    I think the preferred nomenclature is BRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWRWRRRMRMRMMRMRMMMMM!!!

  • mc-rox

    I was expecting the Inception Trailer A Capella Re-Dub but that was a fun surprise. :) BRRRRRAAAAAAWWWRWRRRRMMMRMMM indeed!!

  • Return of Santitas

    Part of me wants to call it a "honk" just to be contrary and make fun of how over-used the ominous BRRRRAAAAWWWWRRMMMMM has become.

  • Andrew J Moore


  • mswas

    IS Cumberbatch Khan? I'm not up on the storyline. Then shouldn't you say KHAAAAAAAAAMBERBATCH!

  • Jen

    Cumberbatch is "Garth of Izar" a former member of Starfleet who was relieved of duty and put in a Insane Asylum after he tried to commit genocide.

  • Arran

    If I was to be reading too much into the small amount of dialogue in the trailer...he specifically mentions having his "vengeance". Star Trek II was originally titled The Vengeance Of Khan, before changing its title to avoid being too similar to the in-production Revenge of the Jedi. Perhaps it was an intentional hat-tip to that.

    IF I was reading too much into it, I might say these things. But I'm not.

  • BWeaves

    I got the feeling he was Mitchell.

  • foolsage

    Yeah, that seems most likely.

  • Jamouse

    Needs more Quinto. Adequate Cumberbatch.

  • Jim drady

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!! For the first time in my life!!!!!!

  • Jezzer

    This is why your parents roll their eyes when they see it's you on the caller ID, drady.

  • Skyler Durden


  • BWeaves

    That's not how it works here. It sorts by Best, not oldest. You're last mate.

  • phase10

    Or does it? You can actually sort it anyway you want.

  • BWeaves

    And I sort First to the bottom.

  • TheOtherGreg

    That's not what she said.

  • frank247

    HEY folks, we found an asshole!

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