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The Avengers Trailer: Assemble, Motherf*ckers

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (59)

thorcapavengerssmall.jpg

A few quick thoughts beyond “fuck yes.”

- The trailer is, unsurprisingly, Iron Man-heavy. He’s the most well-known and probably well-liked by moviegoers.

- The interplay between the characters looks (at least, in this brief sample) pretty great, particularly that between Stark and Steve Rogers, and Stark and Bruce Banner (now played by Mark Ruffalo).

- Love the Hulk shot at the end.

- Needs more Hawkeye.

- Needs less ScarJo.

- Needs more Loki.

- Someone/thing is shooting big-ass laser beams at out planet. Loki? Skrulls? Who knows.

- If Cap doesn’t bellow out “Avengers Assemble!” at some point, I’ll be fucking furious.

OK, that’s enough. Watch the damn thing.









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Comments

dude.

Posted by: gp at October 11, 2011 10:58 AM

Pause at :50 and it looks like Scar Jo farted and blew up the bus.

Posted by: maka at October 11, 2011 11:03 AM

Huh. Yeah, ok, I guess. It looks like they might have added enough human element in there to make the CGI almost bearable. Then again, I had high hopes for Ironman 2 and I'm still recovering from that disappointment. Is this a Christmas or Summer 2012 thing?

Posted by: NateS1973 at October 11, 2011 11:05 AM

I must be the only person on the internet who thinks this is shoddy trailer making.

Posted by: Pants at October 11, 2011 11:09 AM

Indeed you must, because my pants are around my ankles right now.

Posted by: ahamos at October 11, 2011 11:11 AM

Anyone else in the mood for some cuddlin' after that?

Posted by: Kolby at October 11, 2011 11:13 AM

Fuck yes.
I'm a bit disappointed they added the wings to Cap's hemlet (even if they're just painted on) but we still managed to dodge a big ol' dorky bullet there.
I can't imagine they'd blow their wad on the first ensemble film and have Loki summon Galactus? Not sure who or what else would be shooting lasers all over NYC, other than maybe Roland Emmerich. And I doubt he's the bad guy.

Although, the Infinity Gauntlet makes a brief appearance in Thor. Thanos, maybe?

Thoughts: Are we ever going to see the Mandarin? Or is that strictly Iron Man 3 material right there?

Posted by: Markus at October 11, 2011 11:13 AM

Well, now thanks to your titling all I really want is for Sam Jackson to yell "ASSEMBLE, MOTHERF*CKERS!" at everyone, and for Steve Rogers to look awkwardly offended.

Also more Hawkeye.

Posted by: kalexal at October 11, 2011 11:16 AM

"Needs less ScarJo" ~agreed. But you gotta please all the jerk-off's

Posted by: [A] at October 11, 2011 11:18 AM

It looks good, but the trailer for Iron Man 2 was the best trailer I'd ever seen, and the movie sucked. But it does look good.

Posted by: Lucas at October 11, 2011 11:19 AM

Holy Fuck Yes! Now this, is why you get Whedon.

Loki actually looks scary here after the PG nonsense that was Thor.

ScarJo with the crotch on neck WWE move again? i do appreciate her trimming the fat but yuck. well, it cud have been worse. It cud have been Dushku.

Also, I love RDJ and Iron Man but this is not Iron Man 3. why is he getting the final shot?

it's The Avengers for crying out loud!

Posted by: haplo at October 11, 2011 11:21 AM

Can't wait, RDJ and Chris Evans - Yum.
And using We're In This Together as the soundtrack? Genius. Reznor's gonna have a good year in royalties.

Posted by: Hadar at October 11, 2011 11:23 AM

Kick ass.

Posted by: MRod at October 11, 2011 11:25 AM

What exactly is ScarJo's superpower? Is it crouching on the ground and flipping her hair?

Posted by: BWeaves at October 11, 2011 11:31 AM

I want a Quinjet!

Posted by: sars at October 11, 2011 11:34 AM

First it was Eric Bana (if you will), then it was Edward Norton, and now it's Mark Ruffalo. Poor Hulk, no wonder he's conflicted, he's never himself.

Posted by: Asvetic at October 11, 2011 11:36 AM

Perfect amount of dialogue for ScarJo, hope the movie keeps up the trend.

Posted by: reaperslogic at October 11, 2011 11:36 AM

This made me Tingly in my vaginy. and I don't even have one.

Posted by: Yankee Sodomite at October 11, 2011 11:41 AM

Ehhhh. A big shiny forgettable pile of Who Gives a Shit?

Posted by: renaldo at October 11, 2011 11:42 AM

Chills.

Posted by: RobP at October 11, 2011 11:44 AM

Now that I am dating a guy who works in comics, I am triply excited because he is going to flail like a little girl when he sees this.

Posted by: That Girl at October 11, 2011 11:46 AM

MORE LOKI MORE LOKI MORE LOKI

Posted by: janellest at October 11, 2011 11:48 AM

Oh come on people. This may be an awful movie, but the trailer is a sweet sweet love letter to my loins. Wise-ass RDJ, chuckling Thor (By My Mighty hammer Cap Wast owned!) Raging CGI Hulk, Evil Loki, it all makes me need to keep my Trapper Keeper in front of my crotch. 20 years ago you had Z-grade Fantastic Four movies, now you get this! (Alhough to be fair Fantastic Four movies still suck. Because the Fantastic Four suck.)

Posted by: Mrcreosote at October 11, 2011 11:53 AM

BWeaves made me spit out my lunch.

Fury: Quick, Loki has grown to be six stories tall and he's blasting down-town with the Cosmic Cube! We need the Avengers!
[Captain America's shield bounds off the walls and into his hands]
Cap: Avengers Assemble!
[A bolt of lightning blasts down from the sky onto Thor's hammer Mjolnir]
Thor: We shall take down mine evil brother!
[Iron Man zips through the sky and lands with a steely thud behind them]
Iron Man: Let's kick his ass.
[The black widow crouches. And flips her hair.]
Black Widow: In soviet Russia, spiders are afraid of you!
Cap: ...
Thor: ...
Iron Man: ...
Hawkeye: I'd still hit it.

Posted by: superasente at October 11, 2011 12:03 PM

i just want a 10-15 minute throw down between the hulk and thor.

Posted by: logan at October 11, 2011 12:15 PM

HOLY BALLS. This looks AWESOME.

Also: a pants-exploder for every woman in the theater. I mean, HOT DAMN there's some fine men up in that thing. WOO!

Posted by: Figgy at October 11, 2011 12:31 PM

"MORE LOKI MORE LOKI MORE LOKI"

I totally agree.

Posted by: MRod at October 11, 2011 12:32 PM

We need more Loki, please.

Posted by: Sunburn at October 11, 2011 12:33 PM

Is it just me or does there seem to be an awful lot of hiney in the trailer?

Posted by: MRod at October 11, 2011 12:34 PM

And I like Mark Ruffalo, but it still kinda sucks that Ed Norton couldn't be in it. He would've been a blast with the rest of the cast.

Posted by: Figgy at October 11, 2011 12:35 PM

RDJ's Iron Pygmie was made for understating Whedon-y dialog. I'm having some yum here. Makes me chuckle.

This makes me wonder ... where can be found a deleted scenes reel from IM2 - Going Through the Motions? A couple scenes from early in production were way juicier than any by the numbers moment in that plane crash of a movie. Anyone else remember the birthday party clip? Or the chatter during the project about changes to make this unlikeable, unlikely kinda-hero likeable and unequivocally heroic?

Somebody didn't get the memo on IM2 - Iron Man is a bit of a dick. That's the point. One hopes the memo got round that the Avengers are the slice of everything American platoon in every gung-ho WW-II movie, writ large & colorized.

Whedon might have crashed IM2 anyway, but he'd have flamed out by un-mellowing the drama vs. wrapping potentially intriguing, damaged characters in suits of perfectly tailored or machined who cares. I mean, there would be some hot scenes in an endless 6th act - Iron Man with his new soul heart hate-screwing the cat suit off of ScarJo's new hair color. But, it would have been tedious, at least until the musical number.

I am cautiously optimistic about this Revengers movie. If The Studio can be satisfied with the merchandizing sales it already has, they can leave the characters unlikeable, but hot, charming, heroic, damaged, devious, pneumatic and rage-y. That is if Whedon can stay on track.

Oh, Godtopus, now I get it. It's all a setup for the Whedon original sequel - Slush Gray & the 7 Dysfunctions - about ScarJo discovering she's the latest in a line of chosen, personality-wiped incarnate elder gods trained in ballet-fu, from the future. If I see that scythe anywhere, I am done.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at October 11, 2011 12:40 PM

Favorite moment?
Has to be the shot of Thor putting the smackdown on Captain America in the woods. The look of it makes me think of that 'Hulk Versus' animated with Thor.

I just hope they fill in those city scenes a little better. Right now the scenes with cars exploding just look like someone neatly lined up cars and blew them up. Theyll probably fill in cgi attackers in post.

Posted by: Smatt584 at October 11, 2011 12:55 PM

Needs more Ed Norton. Is it too late to greenscreen him in over Mark Ruffalo? What if he said "sorry" for insisting the second try at a live action Hulk film didn't totally suck?

Posted by: Robert at October 11, 2011 1:41 PM

This movie is going to make ALL of the money.

Posted by: Martin at October 11, 2011 1:42 PM

Ok first things first. There is something really disturbing about the sound effects at the beginning. I don't know if it's just me but they felt creepily familiar to Transfomers

Second. Black Widos and her moronic wrestling moves. It looked pathetic in Iron Man it looks pathetic here.


Third Hawkeye. Still don't see the point of him. We have Black Widow as obligatory hot chickl so she gets a pass for not having powers but a guy with a bow in the same company as these powerhouses? Lame

Tony Stark owning Captin America? HELL YES. I was scared they would do it like the comics where everybody worships him

Thor vs Captain America- Looks really good and I really really hope that Whedon is not some Captain America fanboy who will magically let Cap keep up with Thor


Everything else? Awesome. Especially Loki

Posted by: YesPlease at October 11, 2011 1:51 PM

There could be a hundred of these films with the same cast and I'll never get sick of watching Ruffalo and RDJ on screen together. Can they just have a talk show and shoot the shit? I'd watch the fuck out of that. Just talk about stuff. Man...oh this looks great too, but mostly, can we make Ruffalo and RDJ make out? By which I mean...make...out...a show structure in which they can work to ensure the greatest possible enjoyment by their audience. Also they should make out with their mouths.

Posted by: Nadine at October 11, 2011 1:57 PM

not every super needs to have powers...

after all, Green Arrow was a guy with a bow and arrow

Batman was a guy with a lot of gadgets and gismo's.

Captain America's on Steroids, with a frisbee shield

Hawk-eye is a Green Arrow Wannabe, except with Purple...so be glad we're not calling him Purple arrow, or something like that.

Iron Man....as was said in the trailer, he's a guy in a suit...shut him down and he's still dangerous...he can make another suit, or find a way to blow you up.....WITH SCIENCE!

I could go on.....but, that's besides the point...Hell, the Wonder Twins....most useless super's out there.

so what's wrong with Widow? we need a female wrestler...after all, most of the other guys on the team are powered nuclear walking thingies waiting to go off

Posted by: Lord-ninja at October 11, 2011 2:33 PM

Wait, no, screw Ed Norton.

It should've been Eric Bana. I just want my #1 Freebie to get a successful movie.

Posted by: Figgy at October 11, 2011 3:24 PM

And I wish we had a legitimate female superhero for this movie, not just a cheapo ninja. Can't we at least get Lady Sif? She was pretty badass.

Posted by: Figgy at October 11, 2011 3:30 PM

1:25
Oh good. ScarJo striking a new pose - as opposed to the one from the Ironman 2 trailer.

Oh wait...

Posted by: Scott at October 11, 2011 3:42 PM

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, I was trying to ignore the black hole of suck that is Johanssen. Sorry you guys, I just cant deal with her at all. She just annoys me. And she's sooooooooooooooooo terrible at actressing and she' surrounded by these guys and she will just be terrible.
I have all these visions of there being great dialogue scenes because LOOK AT THIS CAST(maybe less from the Helmdizzle but he's sure purdy to look at) and then they get to her line and it's like 'fwaaaaawahahaha' and everyone just sighs and moves on because there is NOTHING THEY CAN DO.

Posted by: Nadine at October 11, 2011 3:57 PM

I'd love to see some R-rated outtakes from this movie. I'd even pay extra for a few things: 1) Sam Jackson saying his avengers assemble line like Jules from Pulp Fiction, complete with his signature curseword, 2) a shot of ScarJo doing one of her little poses and quick-cutting to the other avengers just staring at her, and cue Captain America: 'what the fuck are you doing?!', and 3) ok, yeah maybe a little ScarJo boob. (I can't help my urges!, don't you judge me!)

Posted by: Smatt584 at October 11, 2011 4:02 PM

Needs more Hulk. Hell, replace Black Widow with She-Hulk and you've got a goddamn movie right there.

Posted by: Aislinn at October 11, 2011 4:10 PM

Damn straight. Plus we'd get to see Cap punch She-Hulk in her juicy green titties.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuLoh32ct4g

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at October 11, 2011 4:22 PM

For all of you that complain about Black Widow's "stupid wrestling moves", please look up "Vovinam" and "Flying Scissors".

That's not to say that Johannson will probably suck in this movie.

Posted by: FabMax at October 11, 2011 5:24 PM

Complain with correct spelling, everybody.

Posted by: Jay at October 11, 2011 6:49 PM

You will be the one escaping!

Posted by: Lucas at October 11, 2011 7:25 PM

OK, I've watched it a few times now.

Some of the dialog seems a little clunky, but it's hard to tell out of context. I never doubted the characterization would be spot-on, and it looks good.

Bottom line: IT'S A FUCKIN'AVENGERS MOVIE! WITH REAL ACTORS AND STUFF!

There is no way this will not rock.

Posted by: Dave at October 11, 2011 7:37 PM

Avengers + Joss Whedon = heavy geekery on my part. Part of me knows that there is a good chance this movie will suck. A really good chance. When you cram a movie full of characters like this, oddds are they'll try to balance it out somehow and the movie will suffer.

That said, of course I'll fucking see it. The best part of Captain America was the bit at the end when he woke up. The best part of Thor was Loki. The best part of the Hulk movies was.......well Mark Ruffalo wasn't in either of them so hey! Fresh start! And ScarJo finally (though unintentionally) showed her best parts this year and should be encouraged to continue. The best part of all of them was Robert Downey Junior. So it'll all work out, right?

Right?!?

Posted by: Harborwolf at October 11, 2011 7:38 PM

They could have gone with Black Panther and dumped both Hawkeye and Black Widow, then gone with a more interesting female Avenger. Like all of them. Even if they wanted to stick with "fights good" as her power, they could have picked Tigra or Hellcat, who both have a more colorful look. That said, this is an Avengers movie and I've been dreaming of such a thing since I was a kid. But I still want Jocasta.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 11, 2011 7:54 PM

"What exactly is ScarJo's superpower? Is it crouching on the ground and flipping her hair?" Kinda depends on what she's crouching over as to how super it is.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at October 11, 2011 8:14 PM

All I want to know is, does Thor take his shirt off again?

Posted by: Anne At Large at October 11, 2011 8:37 PM

@Anne At Large
That is my sentiment exactly....my new favorite superhero.
I lent a fellow co-worker my copy of Thor. She said, I shit you not
"Brad Pitt was great!"
What?? Lady! This is not Troy, it's Thor!!

Posted by: daria at October 11, 2011 9:28 PM

daria, my husband couldn't figure out why I was more excited to go see Thor with him than any of the other recent superhero movies (well, that and he wanted to see the Green lantern, bleh). I think he figured it out as soon as he saw the trailer. Talk about putting the best bits in the trailer, mmm.

Although Brad Pitt's abs were one of the only good points about poor Troy.

Posted by: Anne At Large at October 11, 2011 10:20 PM

All I want to know is, does Thor take his shirt off again?

AMEN, SISTER.

Posted by: Figgy at October 11, 2011 10:50 PM

Tracer: tigra-amen

Posted by: idleprimate at October 11, 2011 11:46 PM

They should have traded less ScarJo for more Cobie Smulders.

Posted by: csb at October 12, 2011 8:35 AM

Okay... yeah, more Thor with his short off, please. That is the kind of eye candy I'd give my eye teeth for.

Posted by: MRod at October 12, 2011 11:06 AM

Needs more female superheroes. Has to be said. I like all the man-pretty, but seriously, how fucking hard is it to get female superheroes whose sole purpose ISN'T to be masturbation aids? (Note that I have no objection to them being masturbation aids, I'd just like them to do something else...yeah I'm fucking looking at you Black Widow!)

Posted by: Joker at October 12, 2011 12:55 PM