Takers Trailer

An Unofficial Heat Remake Starring Hayden Christensen?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (26)

Slashfilm is describing Takers (trailer below) as, essentially, an urban targeted version of Heat. The similarities are certainly there: A group of criminals (Paul Walker, T.I., Chris Brown, Hayden Christensen, and Idris Elba (oh, Stringer)) are bank robbers planning the “big” $20 million heist. Standing in their way: Matt Dillon, as ~~Lt. Vincent Hanna~~ Det. Jack Welles.

Personally, I’m compelled by the decision to cast both Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen in the same movie — it’s like a charisma vacuum. There’s enough wooden acting here to build a house. If they’d gotten Keanu to take the Dillon role, the vacuum might have been powerful enough to suck the entire world into it.

Still, I’m not totally hating on it (thanks to both Idris Elba and Zoe Saldana, plus I really like Michael Ealy). It looks less Heat and more generic heist thriller put together by a committee of five and a director-for-hire (John Luessenhop). Plus, get a load of Christensen’s hat? Fucking priceless, people.

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Comments

Not just Idris Elba, but original recipe BRITISH IDRIS ELBA.

Damn it to hell! I can't ignore this now!

Posted by: Vermillion at September 14, 2009 6:17 PM

Well.....Paul Walker certainly can't act his way out of a damp paper sack, but he can bring that wood to my house.....

Posted by: Goddess at September 14, 2009 6:32 PM

My big question with regards to casting both Hayden Christensen and Paul Walker is: could they have found two non-related actors who look more like each other? Same hair, same eyes, same squint heavy acting style, hell even some same facial features. I just went over to imdb to see if they're actually playing brothers, but there's no character names on the cast list, so it's still ambiguous. That's pretty much all I'm curious about, even after watching the trailer.

Posted by: Rusty (formerly Genny) at September 14, 2009 6:39 PM

"If they’d gotten Keanu to take the Dillon role, the vacuum might have been powerful enough to suck the entire world into it."

Um, Keanu already did this role when the movie was called Point Break.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at September 14, 2009 6:40 PM

They did the cool guys walk away from explosions in slo-mo thing. Why did they do the cool guys walk away from explosions in slo-mo thing?

Oh right - page fourteen of the "Generic Action Movie" manual...

I gave the trailer a "meh" until they threw all the action in the last thirty seconds. Wannabe parkour is all the rage with the young 'uns...

Posted by: malikvlc at September 14, 2009 6:44 PM

It has Chris Brown in it...can't watch it. They could put Angelina and Brad Pitt in it with him and I still wouldn't want to see it. I hate guys who hit women. And every move he's made after that incident has made him look like more of a douche. Actually, he gives douches a bad name. But, also, the movie looks generic as hell. It should have went straight to DVD. Unfortunately, the "urban" market will flock to it, mostly because the rumor is Medea goes to jail in it...again!

Posted by: James at September 14, 2009 7:01 PM

So Christiansen is channeling Joey Jeremiah? Crazy Canadians. It worked in the 80's son. Now, not so much.

Posted by: admin at September 14, 2009 7:02 PM

I want to jump from a roof to a car hood. Can I please? Can I?

Although I don't think the word graceful would be involved in any way. I have a feeling there would be a lot of broken...things.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at September 14, 2009 7:03 PM

Wrong, admin. Joey Jeremiah - or any reference to that particular generation of Degrassi - ALWAYS works.

Posted by: Sofía at September 14, 2009 7:57 PM

What in the name of all that is good and pure in this world is Stringer Bell doing to his career??? Does the man not know that he can actually, legitimately ACT? Someone needs to bring this to his attention ASAP so I can actually sit through one of his films.

Posted by: Cruise at September 14, 2009 8:13 PM

It's got Chris Brown but it's also got T.I..
I owe T.I. something for one time. I'll rent the DVD.

Posted by: The Gemeinderat at September 14, 2009 8:13 PM

Yeah, the original recipe has his own accent Idris might be enough for me to rent it.

And hey, they stoleded that whole blow up the street so the armored vehicle gets sucked into LA's underbowels so the theifs can theive the money from the back of it from The Italian Job (well, the new one anyway).

I bet they used the same street, too.

Posted by: lizzieborden at September 14, 2009 8:24 PM

Damn them for putting so much pretty in this movie. I almost considered seeing it for a moment. Idris Elba and Michael Ealy are to report to me for rigorous uh... punishment. Yeah, punishment. Sexy punishment.

Posted by: jM at September 14, 2009 8:41 PM

I just watched the six-episode 1998 British series Ultraviolet a few days ago; Idris Elba being one of the mains.
I can't recall anything I've seen him in prior to that screening, but he was also in The Unborn which was the very next thing I watched, and I've seen his name popping up all over the place ever since.
Weird how that happens, sometimes.

Posted by: Rykker at September 14, 2009 9:13 PM

I wish our society would treat Chris Brown like the fucktard douchebag he is. I suppose he filmed this piece of shit before he decided to beat the hell out of his girlfriend, but this is still going to give him a huge paycheck and box office opening and all kinds of fame. I want to reverse-taco both his kneecaps.

Why is Idris Elba in this mess?

Posted by: krza at September 14, 2009 10:02 PM

Hayden Christensen? Isn't he embarrassed to be seen in public?

Posted by: George at September 14, 2009 10:27 PM

Wait, this ISN'T straight-to-DVD material?

Posted by: Edward Nigma at September 15, 2009 7:07 AM

No thanks. I'd rather watch the Italian Job & District B13. They both have less douchebags, less hats and less generic plots. (In that exact order of importance.)

Posted by: io at September 15, 2009 9:14 AM

Lordie, this thing is just drenched in mediocrity..I really hope Idris doesn't get any on him. That having been said, it makes NO sense that they gave Ealy a love interest in this movie and not him. Just take a moment to imagine the hotness of Saldana and Elba.

Posted by: Mona at September 15, 2009 9:27 AM

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Posted by: Casper at September 15, 2009 9:59 AM

Nope, not enough jump edits for me in this. I require at least 120/minute to give me that strobe/epileptic seizure vibe and this clocks in at 105, so fuck it.

Really, every mediocre-action-movie trailer looks exactly like every other mediocre-action-movie trailer, like the trailer makers think we have the attention spans of gnats, even if we do. You'd think SOMEbody would try SOMEthing different.

Or maybe I'm the only one whose brain hurts after being subjected to this.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 15, 2009 10:34 AM

I'm betting despite the near-dialogue ripoffs, there will be *no* riveting coffee-shop discussion on the ethics of professionalism and the impact of violent work on men's lives between Matt Dillon and Paul Walker, or whomever, in this movie. Probably for the best.

Posted by: Jacktrade at September 15, 2009 11:29 AM

It looks dumb, but there sure is a LOT of man-pretty in it. Maybe enough to put my butt in a theater seat.

Posted by: Drake at September 15, 2009 1:48 PM

Hi, the song featured at the end of the trailer is titled Mountain Movement by Sharp Skills. It was featured on his latest album The Campaign. His myspace is www.myspace.com/sharpskills, Mountain Movement is the first song in his playlist!

Posted by: R.E.B.E.L. at September 15, 2009 2:43 PM

Wait, is Hayden Christensen in the wild card/ enforcer role? I didn't think enforcers were usually whiny, irritating bastards.

Posted by: KDigg at September 15, 2009 2:51 PM

Looks lame as Hell. Not that i'm surprised.

Posted by: Arthur Dent at September 15, 2009 7:26 PM

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An Unofficial Heat Remake Starring Hayden Christensen?

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