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Sucker PunchTrailer: Is She Really About to Kick that Minotaur Dude with the Flamethrower Thingie in the Face?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (37)

suckerpunchad.jpg

Oh, Zack Snyder, with all your slo-mo, quick cuts, and visual masturbation. Here’s an idea: Story. Look into it. Sucker Punch looks like stylistic mad-libs: See how much shit you can cram into one movie. Abusive step-father; crazy house; cleavage; a new planet; dragons; robots; minotaurs; gas-mask soldiers; sword-play; machine guns; jet-packs; axe-throwing; zombies; and fire. So much fire. What’s probably missing? Plot. But who needs plot when you’ve got Silversun Pickups? You know what, Snyder? Grow a pair and stop hiding behind green screen.

Here’s the latest trailer.










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Comments

it's telling that the trailer references his worst movies as an enticement.

Posted by: idleprimate at February 23, 2011 11:36 AM

Headache.

Posted by: sars at February 23, 2011 11:40 AM

Dude!

Are you a girl or what?
That's not a flamethrower, it's a minigun!

Miniguns are cool.
There should be lot's on the Murdertank.

Trailer looks a lot less cool..

Posted by: Magiel at February 23, 2011 11:50 AM

Looks like I got some visual masturbation to look forward to!

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 23, 2011 11:55 AM

Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...no.

I love...I mean really LURV eye candy movies, but I just can't get a handle on this one. I guess it doesn't help that I'm 47-ish. Maybe I should just stick to rewatching Iron Man in a continuous loop.

Unfortunately, this has my hopes for a decent Superman movie slowly circling the drain. :-\

Posted by: Barry at February 23, 2011 12:00 PM

bah. i've had enough "story" to last me.

i just wanna see shit go down.

count me in.

Posted by: gp at February 23, 2011 12:08 PM

@gp:

You present an intriguing case.

I'll reserve judgment.

Posted by: Barry at February 23, 2011 12:11 PM

Watched it with the sound off. Probably didn't make it make any less sense than it already did.

Posted by: scarecrowprophet at February 23, 2011 12:20 PM

This looks like the best videogame I've never played. And I mean that in the best possible way.

Posted by: Chugga at February 23, 2011 12:27 PM

It looks cool, might have a thin plot, get over it. You want densely scripted plot, watch The Wire.

Posted by: the new transported man at February 23, 2011 12:28 PM

@Chickaboom

I tend to pretty visual when I masturbate, what with all the years of modern dance and tap training.

JAZZ HANDS!!

Posted by: Groundloop at February 23, 2011 12:28 PM

So...is there a dragon in the film? Couldn't quite tell.

Posted by: Carrie at February 23, 2011 12:29 PM

Jeebus. You should've put a Seizure Warning on this.

And it just looks stupid. Like a massive, stupid music video. I need someone to watch this and tell me if there's enough HAAAAMM in it to bother. Probably not, though.

Posted by: figgy at February 23, 2011 12:33 PM

I kind of dig it. Cept for Jena Malone. She can fuck off with her stupid face

Posted by: Nadine at February 23, 2011 12:40 PM

I won't lie. I want to see this movie. I can't tell you why. It looks supremely stupid but I still want to see it.

Posted by: staceygarrett at February 23, 2011 12:42 PM

better to not expect a plot and be happy, then to expect a plot and be angry. it will be all kinds fun! dont be mean.

Posted by: rabbi at February 23, 2011 12:51 PM

I think the Murdertank does have miniguns, both mounted on the exterior with remote-control aiming, and portable ones for when you have to get out of the Murdertanks to visit the convenience store (miniguns come in handy for chopping up zombies).

I would like to think that the Murdertank also sports as standard equipment a pair of Nudelmann 23-mm cannon set for rapid fire (why Nudelmann? The Soviets tested one in Earth orbit, and that counts as cred points).

Mine throwers? Check.

Caltrop throwers? Hell yes! Great for slowing down crazed cannibal hillbillies when driving through certain parts.

Smoke projectors? Always helps to confuse other drivers.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 23, 2011 1:01 PM

This looks like the best videogame I've never played

Chugga - as I watched that preview, I kept thinking, "this looks like a videogame, not a movie."

Posted by: tamatha at February 23, 2011 1:06 PM

I like pretty all of Zach Snyder's movies that I've seen to date. I didn't see that owl movie. I think that streak ends here. This looks like too much about too little.

A lot of nonsense.

"The Spirit" is to "Sin City" as "Sucker Punch" is to "300".

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at February 23, 2011 1:17 PM

Figgy, I thought you were being facetious about Hamm being in this, but I checked and he is?

Maybe he will help recreate the sex scene from 300? If not, no thank you.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at February 23, 2011 1:22 PM

You should see the owl movie. It's surprisingly not total crap.

Whatever this movie is, at least it's not pretending it's something it's not. Attn: Michael Bay, cutting your Transformers trailers like Christopher Nolan trailers does not actually make them good movies.

Posted by: twig at February 23, 2011 1:26 PM

I so want to see this...when I can get it from Red Box after I have done my grocery shopping.

Posted by: karen at February 23, 2011 1:59 PM

@ Groundloop - do you wear giant Mickey Mouse gloves when you do those "jazz hands"? I mean, do you want to impress me or what?

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 23, 2011 3:38 PM

Holy balls I think I just had a baby in my pants. I will be there opening night, ready to check my brain at the door and watch sh1t go BOOM!!!!

Posted by: Bandito at February 23, 2011 4:21 PM

But, there is a pink Hello Kitty!-esque MechWarrior in it! and a Dragon! And hot chicks in WWII fighter planes!

And I have Crippling ADHD! I can Barely Read!

Posted by: Johnny Von Awesome at February 23, 2011 4:35 PM

This movie has been at the top of my list for films I'm excited to see this year since the first trailer came out.

Then again...I own 300, Watchmen, and the Dawn of the Dead remake, because I love his visual style.

Half naked chicks kicking ass? What more could I want?

Oh...right...a DRAGON.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 23, 2011 5:00 PM

What kind of a man are you? That's a samurai, you tard, not a minotaur. And he's holding a minigun, not a flamethrower. You are such a girl for writing this article. What kind of a sissy lady-boy can't tell the difference between a samurai and a minotaur?! This film is clearly intended for well-endowed people (me) who like awesome radical off the wall shit, and not for pansies with tiny vaginas (you).

Pretty sure Snyder's sticking to the whole popcorn nerdgasm vein with his films. I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for him to direct the next Shawshank Redemption. You dummy. I bet you don't even like fun. I bet you hate fun.

Actually, do hold your breath. Don't worry if you start to see spots and feel lightheaded. Just keep holding it.

Man I'm gonna get so high before I go and see this it's gonna be great.

Posted by: leiigghh at February 23, 2011 5:12 PM

@leiigghh Apparently, youre the "tard". It really doesnt matter what that guy is, be it a minotaur or a samurai. Hes like 30 feet tall and shooting a massive mini gun. The point is that Snyder is just throwing the most random shit into this movie, and using the excuse "Its all in her mind" to have dragons and 30 foot tall guys with miniguns bigger than my apartment.

Posted by: Illuminatus at February 23, 2011 5:49 PM

@Illuminatus Yeah what isn't awesome about that I don't understand

Posted by: leiigghh at February 23, 2011 5:51 PM

@Illuminatus
Leiigghh is right. This appeals to manchildren's active imaginations. Which a large audience, including myself, are. It's like a grown up Bobby's World. BOOM nostalgia!

Posted by: MajorTool at February 23, 2011 5:57 PM

More like Illumi-no-tits... am I right

Posted by: MajorTool at February 23, 2011 5:59 PM

"You will be. Unprepared."

Ugh. Gleh. Pheesh...

With these kinds of words, placed like this, in this preview, they really should stop trying to use language altogether. They don't use it very well and should probably stop.

Posted by: Sam at February 23, 2011 6:10 PM

So far Snyder's done pretty much nothing except sexy up other folks work; DotD was simple zombie fun, while Watchmen and 300 were almost slavish in their reproduction of the original materials

I've been really curious to see how he'll do when given his own story to play with.

That being said, I fully expect it to be ADHD theater with just enough story to kick it along from one titty jiggle and asplosion to the next...

Posted by: madjackdeacon at February 23, 2011 6:14 PM

More properly, that is a gatling gun, a gun in which multiple barrels are arranged in a circle and the entire barrel assembly rotates, each barrel receiving a round in sequence. It predates the actual machine gun in terms of design, and fell out of favor for a long time (they are much heavier and the feed mechanisms are very finicky compared to the machine gun). In modern times they have become quite popular, because they can be configured to expel many more rounds per second than a single barrel device - single barrels heat up and deform under the constant load of very high velocity delivery.

Why is this relevant? It's not really. It's just that the only thing I can think of more batshit crazy than a samurai wielding a gatling gun about to be jumped by a girl in a miniskirt with a sword is that we found it necessary to expel so many rounds of ammunition at something that, you know, conventional single barrel delivery systems just didn't measure up.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at February 23, 2011 7:09 PM

@frobme
^^^^ This guy gets it.

Posted by: leiigghh at February 23, 2011 7:59 PM

I'm up for this. I don't see myself going to a theatre to see it, but I'll likely enjoy the hell out of the blu-ray.

And honestly, the plot of the film seems to do more than enough to justify Snyder's "yay green screen~!!" style. I wish more directors with his flair for batshit insane CGI would embrace their genre with such openness, honesty and not-giving-a-fuck-ness. I only have a problem with films like this when they are more interested in dollars than the insanity of their work, or when they take themselves much too seriously, ala BruckenBay.

Zack Snyder is to directing and Jason Statham is to acting. He knows what he is. They know they aren't David Fincher or Daniel Day-Lewis, and they don't give a fuck. They're here to give us balls to the wall insanity and have fun doing it. Kudos gentlemen, keep it up.

Posted by: Steve at February 23, 2011 10:07 PM

Piranha is to 3D what Sucker Punch is to Green Screen

Posted by: Darth Darko at February 24, 2011 11:37 AM