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Never Trust a Godd*mn Vampire

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (16)



Suck_ComingSoon.preview.jpg

The trailer for the Canadian film, Suck, plays more like a music video, which I suppose is the point. It’s a vampire rock n’ roll spoof, from writer/director, who I have to assume is someone of some note in Canada, as he’s managed to pull together an interesting, if not eclectic cast for the movie: Dave Foley, Malcolm McDowell, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, and Moby.

The trailer itself, which is scored to a fairly decent music track, is only intermittently funny, and looks like the kind of movie you’d never seek out in theaters (it premieres at the Toronto Film Fest), but that might pull you in after bar time while you’re drunk and eating a lukewarm Hot Pocket that you were too impatient to microwave for a full three minutes. It’s a channel-flipping movie, something you come across and say, “Hey! That’s Dave Foley” (or Iggy Pop) and stick around a few minutes until you fall asleep.

Cool concept, though. Vampires and rock music. The execution? Maybe not so much. We’ll see.

The logline:

A rock’n’roll vampire spoof about a down and out band, The Winners, who will do anything for a record deal. When their disgruntled manager (Dave Foley) tells them that they are getting “long in the tooth,” he doesn’t know that his words are truly prophetic. During a road trip, their humdrum image radically changes when Jennifer (Jessica ParĂ©), the bass player, disappears one night with a hip vampire (Dimitri Coats). She emerges with a sexually charged charisma that drives the audiences wild.

As the band members succumb, one by one, to blood lust, their “gimmick” launches them into the limelight. Following an “incident” on a national radio show with “Rock’n Roger” (Henry Rollins), they hit mega-stardom beyond their wildest dreams. Joey (Rob Stefaniuk), the lead singer, is haunted by an eerie bartender (Alice Cooper), who turns out to be much more. Meanwhile, legendary vampire hunter, Eddie Van Helsig (Malcolm McDowell), is tracking them down, despite his fear of the dark. When a veteran music producer (Iggy Pop) calls them.

Here’s the trailer:









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Comments

"Eddie Van Helsig"

*snicker*

And his brother Alex?

That alone makes me want to give this a shot.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 19, 2009 10:15 AM

When a veteran music producer (Iggy Pop) calls them... what? Freaks? Geniuses? For Sunday brunch? Sentence fragments drive me crazy!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at August 19, 2009 10:21 AM

Soooooo, does this movie suck or not?

Posted by: BWeaves at August 19, 2009 10:38 AM

I'm more than a little skeptical. And Iggy Pop is a big whore.

Posted by: TSF at August 19, 2009 10:50 AM

Looks retarded. But... you had me at Jessica Pare.

Posted by: TK at August 19, 2009 10:50 AM

With a cast like that, I cannot resist.

Mmmm...Dave Foley.

Posted by: Cindy at August 19, 2009 11:04 AM

I saw the title image for this post and thought it was another G.I. Joe thread.

Posted by: laredo at August 19, 2009 11:09 AM

Jessica Pare? I'm there. How that inhumanly gorgeous girl has not had a bigger career will forever baffle me.

Posted by: Todd at August 19, 2009 11:20 AM

No wonder they're down and out. Their music sucks, too.

Posted by: FabMax at August 19, 2009 11:39 AM

Danny Smith plays the convenience store clerk (gas station attendant?). I'm there. Just for that.

Posted by: Cuno at August 19, 2009 11:54 AM

Man, that'd be a good comment diversion thingy:

"What will they call the next show/movie/comic etc. that combines something with vampires?"

At first blush, I like:

Autistic Vampire: Vein Man.
Yeah, sun comes up in 20 minutes, def'nitely 20 minutes to sun-up. SUNLIGHT BURN BABY!

Posted by: laredo at August 19, 2009 12:24 PM

oh-i had forgotten this was coming out!
i will see anything with henry rollins in it-so sexy.
(p.s.-he was actually hilarious in 'wrong turn 2: dead end')

Posted by: gem at August 19, 2009 12:37 PM

I'm with gem here... Henry Rollins is dead sexy. Not to mention one hell of a musician. And kind of a badass all around. And has anyone else seen that video of him headbutting a dude at a show back when he was in Black Flag? And... I'm gonna be in my bunk.

Posted by: Zuzu at August 19, 2009 1:29 PM

I will see this, I will see this on acid.

And that scene where she was bouncing on the bed really fast? All I could think of was the best blow job of my life!!

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 19, 2009 5:06 PM

Looks like it will be fun if nothing else although the basic plot sounds very very similar to the Mercedes Lackey novel "Children of the Night"

Posted by: Karla at August 19, 2009 5:26 PM

Re: Japanese hip-hop-if those Japanese wiggers do hip-hop half as well as they do slam metal, damn straight it'll be huge. All of the very best pit riffment and cock-slamming brutality comes from Japan.

Posted by: Infernal Revulsion at August 20, 2009 2:00 AM