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Jon Hamm Gets His "Give Me Back My Daughter" Moment

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (21)



stolenlives72.jpg

Best I can tell, the movie for the trailer we are about to present, Stolen, has already come and gone, movie theater wise, and has been on IFC On Demand for a few weeks now. But it completely slipped under our radar (and most everyone else’s, too), despite the name cast: Jon Hamm, Josh Lucas, James Van Der Beek, and Rhona Mitra. But, I gotta say: It looks a lot more like a James Van Der Beek and Rhona Mitra movie than it does a Josh Lucas or a Jon Hamm one. That is to say, it looks very bad.

You remember back in the days when people actually visited video stores? You’d roam the aisles and stumble upon a movie starring a recently popular A-lister that you’d never heard of. Chances are, that was a movie the star made before he or she was big, and it was being re-released in the wake of that newfound popularity. Stolen looks like that kind of movie, though Hamm and Lucas have been around for too long for it to actually be that movie.

It’s another one of those lost kid movies, though the lost kid in question seems to be related to another lost kid from 50 years ago. It’s overacted to the hilt, and there’s enough melodrama here to kick you on your ass. Check out the trailer:

That trailer was brought to my attention by tris, who also brought to my attention the trailer for The Square, which comes out in limited release on April 9th. Harry Knowles over at Ain’t It Cool News calls it “The Best Film Noir since Body Heat.” I think you only need to watch the trailer to understand just how completely full of shit Harry Knowles is, and how unbelievably quick he is to sell out. Seriously. The best film noir in the last 30 years? Give me an aching goddamn break.

Finally, tris also brought to my attention to trailer for the documentary, An Inconvenient Tax, which is about the busted, overly complicated U.S. Tax Code. And as someone who just spent the large part of his Saturday doing taxes, the line from the trailer that stuck out most for me was, “It’s so complicated that you have no idea whether you’ve done it right or not.” Yes. That’s exactly right — so terrified am I of screwing up, I end up removing certain deductions for fear that I’m not paying enough and the IRS will come and steal me. Seriously, I err on the side of paying more out of simple fear.

The doc — which opens, appropriately enough, on April 15th — presents the problem, and appears to offer a variety of solutions that we are to choose from. The idea, I suppose, is that we can somehow build a consensus behind one solution. It’s not going to happen, of course. No one can agree on jack shit, so we’ll probably continue this confusing crap for decades to come. (I think I like the consumption tax, but then again, that sounds awfully regressive. As is the flat tax). Here’s another solution: The tax system should be like Radiohead albums: Pay what you feel like you should pay.

I’m sure that’d work.









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Comments

I have long maintained that Nazi Germany had the Gestapo, we have the IRS.

I understand that the new tax form is very simple. Two lines.

A. How much did you make?

B. Send it in.

Posted by: UncleJR at March 29, 2010 12:18 PM

Why'd it take you so long to get around to doing your taxes? We do ours in February, soon's we get all our W-2's and shit. Our refund appeared in our bank account ages ago.

If you're so freakin' scared of the IRS, get a tax expert to look over your returns for you.

Honestly.

Posted by: Jerce at March 29, 2010 12:43 PM

It looks a lot more like a James Van Der Beek and Rhona Mitra movie than it does a Josh Lucas or a Jon Hamm one. That is to say, it looks very bad.

But she was awesome in Boston Legal, can't we just pretend this is good too?

Posted by: Xtreme at March 29, 2010 1:07 PM

We pay H&R Block every year for our taxes. I have income that's not on a W2 and the IRS ain't fucking around, my friends. I'd rather cough up some extra dough for a professional than pay several grand in penalties, back taxes and be lectured for 47 hours by a Scientologist. That's the penalty, right? That's scary, people.

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at March 29, 2010 1:53 PM

Sadly, the tax code incentives are all wrong. Do the forms right and win 47 hours of "lecturing" from Rhona Mitra ... I'd be all over that paperwork.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at March 29, 2010 2:21 PM

He's got Lloyd Christmas hair in that pic. Awesome.

Posted by: Tee Hee Hee at March 29, 2010 2:29 PM

My parents were audited. Let that soak in a bit.

About five or six years ago? Sad fact of the matter is that my Mom and Dad keep great records. They sent in everything and more. It's not like they don't get a shitty enough tax set up because my dad was running a small business.

They've had a CPA handle everything since then and thankfully my Dad hasn't lost his business yet.

It still took me an hour and a half to go over this and last years W2 and state forms (we found out the state owed me about 300 bucks).

Fucking corrupt shitty ass tax system just piled on with total bullshit and ass juice. And they count on people not taking refunds based on the sheer fear factor. All they want is to take as much money as they're owed and then whatever else you leave lying around. Asshats. And people in my fucking generation act like it's so great to have taxes taken out of their paycheck because it means they don't get to see it/ feel it. That's part of the trick! They don't want you to know how much money they're siphoning from you. Fucking thieves. Listen, I want to invest in my country and state and city, but be fucking clear and up front about it, you jackasses.

And I apologize terribly, Dustin if this lands y'all in trouble with the Department of Homeland Security.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 29, 2010 3:43 PM

But it completely slipped under our radar (and most everyone else’s, too)

Understandable given according to BoxOfficeMojo that Stolen was released to all of 1 theater barely two weeks ago. They are well-known enough names, but who is keeping that close a track of them? figgy must've been camped outside of Eric Bana's house instead of Hamm's at the time he slipped out to go film it.

Posted by: branded at March 29, 2010 3:51 PM

And people in my fucking generation act like it's so great to have taxes taken out of their paycheck because it means they don't get to see it/ feel it. That's part of the trick!

Posted by: Kayanne at March 29, 2010 3:43 PM
---
Revile him all you like but Limbaugh says if you had to write a tax check to the government every month there'd be a rebellion.

Posted by: , at March 29, 2010 4:50 PM

Awwww. Poor Van Der Fuck...I'm pretty sure he thought the rest of his career would be set after starring in his own television series.

You were wrong bitch! Now even I..."don't want, your life."

Posted by: DeistBrawler at March 29, 2010 5:33 PM

branded, you know me so well. I'm so sorry, Jon. I'll go camp inside your pants and watch all your movies if you want!

Posted by: figgy at March 29, 2010 6:46 PM

OOH, Ron Paul's in that tax movie!! I must watch it!!

Posted by: Jelinas at March 29, 2010 9:02 PM

Oh, BTW, if you're buying your first house you get an $8,000 tax credit, and if you can afford to trade up your house right now you can get a $6,500 tax credit, but if you've been

Posted by: , at March 29, 2010 10:35 PM

dammit, got cut off.

But if you've been PAYING THE MORTAGE ON YOUR HOUSE FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS AND WILL DIE IN THAT HOUSE, YOU GET SHIT.

Fuck you very much, Uncle Sam.

Posted by: , at March 29, 2010 10:37 PM

Thank you, ,. We've been in our house four years and where is our goddamn money? We're never moving (god willing) and it's fucking bullshit that we get nothing for having our life together a few years ago instead of now. Assholes, indeed.

Posted by: TWoP_Fan at March 30, 2010 12:01 AM

I just made a comment about The Square in the Aussie-some thread.. It is a great movie (by Autralian standards anyway). On another note: it came out aaaages ago here.

Posted by: Seraf at March 30, 2010 12:20 AM

Indeed The Square is great. you shouldn't be prejudiced because some knobjockey said it was the best movie ever, nor because of the propensity of aussie to make really bad trailers. Animal Kingdom's trailer make the film look like common and unoriginal, but it can't be possible that it won a prize, and is praised by critics if it's the case.

Posted by: rg at March 30, 2010 2:00 AM

I just want my kids back!!

...

Carry on.

Posted by: Tom Jane at March 30, 2010 2:37 AM

Oh great an powerful , aka the notorious B.U.C. Daddy, as much as that twat annoys the hell out of me I love that quote.

Seriously.

I so wish the people in this country would understand the power of a revolution every now and again. We neeeeeed to revolt! The fore fathers wanted us to!

Posted by: Kayanne at March 30, 2010 11:08 AM

I expected talk of taxes to bring out the crazy, I didn't expect it to be so ridiculous.

The Gestapo?

Insane. Literally insane.

Posted by: ChristianH at March 30, 2010 11:54 AM

i have seceret monet how can i get u

Posted by: sayid cumar at June 30, 2010 8:21 AM