Pajiba

Spock is wooden

You realize, of course, that that's the least effective criticism that could be used, right?

And of course I know you know better than to use "Trekkie", you baiter, you.

Conversely, this'll be the first Abrams thing I ever watch!

Whoever added the "annotations" option to YouTube should have a red-hot poker shoved up his dickhole.

Dustin is getting his "geek hate" on. Must be a weekday...

I agree about the Eric Bana bit. Despite wanting to like him, I really don't. He's super boring and seems to suck the life out of anything he's in. It's a shame.

Let's face it, the bar for "Star Trek" movies is incredibly low. Out of the what, nine or ten films, there has been one great one (Wrath of Khan), one good one (First Contact), an okay one (Search For Spock), and the rest have pretty much sucked.

The trailer didn't blow me away, but it looked decent enough. (Ever since the "Phantom Menace" trailer, I have been very weary of putting too much stock in these things). I will likely see it. I am not terribly concerned whether it's a good "Star Trek" movie, but I just hope it's a good sci-fi movie. There are so very few.

Yeah it's not doing anything for me either. It's like Star Trek Muppet Babies or something.

And god I hate Sylar/whatsisface. He. Cannot. Act. The no emotion thing might work for him a little, but he's still bloody annoying.

And who is this Tyler Perry person people keep going on about?

Is it just me, or does the music in this trailer sound a helluva lot like the music from The Dark Knight?
I just can't get excited about Star Trek. I do like Abrams though, so I may see it for that reason. At home. On DVD.

I think there have been over ten Enterprises, but some are 'reimaginings'.

I'll give it this, at least it doesn't suggest the tagline When Kirk Met Spock, or The Undiscovered Orifice like the last one did. The gay overtones have been cut down a lot.

Yes, Pink Hulk gay overtones would be a bad thing here.

It might be a fun ride, though perhaps unintentionally funny in parts. After all, Star Trek is not Shakespeare, expectations should be low. My favourite ST move is The Voyage Home, because it nailed the campy, jokey ethos of some of the episodes from the original series pretty well ('Where do you keep your nuclear wessels?')

Sure looks like they spent money on this one, anyway. As for the cast, Pine is not so good, but I think Quinto is perfect physical casting.
As to his acting, my jury is out. I think he's doing ok on Heroes at the moment. He's more watchable than most of them lately, and he was good with Kristin Bell. And I loved seeing him go up against John Glover (OK, that came out wrong for obvious reasons..) A little bit of the Magnificent Bastard always helps!

'Favourite ST movie'. Damn it.

God, you'd think the fancy new preview thingie would help with my brain/eye disconnect. But, no...

"You will experience fear- fear in the face of uncertain death! You will make a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, and charcoal and use it to fire diamonds!!!

So that's where he learned that neat trick!!

It's like Star Trek Muppet Babies or something.

Ooh, well said, Carrie! I kind of want to see it out of morbid curiousity, but I can't imagine taking it seriously as part of the Star Trek oeuvre.

Carrie, Tyler Perry is an African American movie director, producer, and writer who is very successful. He’s also damn near keeping TBS afloat by himself. Presently he owns his own movie studio which enables him to tell Hollywood to kiss his ass. Also he doesn’t give a fuck about no goddamn writers union or any or type of union that didn’t give a fuck about African Americans working in Hollywood. Does that cover everything Rowles?

Oh gosh, where to start...

The Pink Hulk I am afraid I have only seen Quinto in Heroes (and possibly something else I have already forgotten about and now that's gonna bug me), and he's weak in that. I will take your word for his genius in the Tori Spelling thing.

Meaux I'm curious too, but curious in a 'I can wait til it hits the discount cinema/DVD' way.

Pookie Thanks for the info. I did look him up but it seems he hasn't made much of an impression over here yet. Either that or I walk around with my head in the sand, which is entirely possible.

…and he’s not as great of a guy as Judd Apatow.

Oh Carrie trust me, he's made an impression here.

Sigh.

Lainey, if you must, you must. But please bring doughnuts. I've been dieting for weeks, and I am starving.

To quote Tori, "I don't know!"

I am becoming increasingly disenfranchised by your reviews, Mr. Rowles.
Yeah, I come here because of the mission-statement, "Bitchy Reviews for Bitchy People," being as I am a bitchy people, who loves the snark.

However, it has become my, increasingly well-considered belief over the past couple of weeks, that you poo-poo too much of that which you are not very well versed-in.

And I wonder why that is so.

Why are we hearing so much of YOUR POV, lately, on EVERYTHING, as opposed to someone on your staff that might be better equiped to offer a relevant opinion of the chosen subject matter?

It is apparent, historically, that you do not like the genre of which Star Trek is a part. So why is it that you are the one to review it? Do you not have a person on-staff who is well-versed in the genre? And, as such, can offer a RELEVANT-to-the-genre-in-question opinion?
Someone who favors the genre, so that when a piece of crap within-such, is released, we, who also favor the genre, can legitimately take that person seriously.

You aren't a Sci-Fi buff. Your opinion on Sci-Fi means nothing to me...
Why are you the one to offer a review, in this instance?

The trailer looks OK. But now we're supposed to believe that Kirk's father was an awesome captain too, and therefore Kirk must have inherited those skills?

The original series was way before my time. I'm a TNG/DS9 kinda gal. But still I feel like I've seen enough of this crew. Let them GO, already. If you must make a Trek movie, do something a little more innovative. Try a new crew, maybe even move them into the future a bit, instead of always going backwards to show us how spectacularly awesome Kirk was.

Plus we already know how he dies:

SPOILER
Fighting a guy he doesn't know with another captain he just met on a planet no one's heard of for a race of people no one knows about.

That's all I'm gonna be thinking about if I see this movie: "Kirk, you're going to get chubby and die falling off a bridge to protect a race of beings who could be total assholes for all you know."

"And instead of taking your body back in the shuttle to be buried with full honors, Picard leaves you under a pile of rocks. RIP, man."
END SPOILER

This is one of those movies that I will totally see as long as I'm not the one paying for it. Quisinart makes me die inside a little bit every Monday but this may be the one role that he can adequately pull off.

And when exactly did Dustin say he would be reviewing the movie? It seems to me that he's just giving his opinion on a TRAILER.

and he doesn’t go around selling an “Evening with Tyler Perry” dvds.

You mean "Tyler Perry's An Evening With Tyler Perry".

Ok, I'll say it. I freakin' loved Star Trek the original series (TOS), kinda dug The Next Generation (TNG), but never watched Deep Space 9. I've seen all the movies and LOVED them. My kids make fun of me and I rarely admit these things out loud. I. Can't. Wait...for this movie. There. I said it. My name is Miss "N" and I may be a Trekkie. I want more trailers!!!

*pulls out nerd credentials* I believe there were 4 Enterprises: NC1701-A,B,C, and D, D being the one in TNG and I think A was the one in TOS but I'm not sure about that one, might have been B. There's also an E that comes back from the future at one point, but it seems like cheating to count future Enterprises. Also, is it just me or didn't Checkov actually join the cast several episodes in? Wouldn't that make him not part of the original line-up?

Also, is it just me or didn't Checkov actually join the cast several episodes in?

I'm not sure he was in the first season at all. Either way, he wasn't there when Khan was.

However, there's wibbly wobbly timey wimey jiggery pokery going on in this movie. I'll be surprised if there's not a divergent timeline excuse for Pavel's presence. They know better than to just do it and not say anything, after all the complaints Nicholas Meyer got after "The Wrath of Khan".

No need for elbows, Lainey... You can always sit on my lap *wink wink nudge nudge say no more*.

Bonus: You're so tiny, I'll still be able to see through the window right over the top of your head!

Hmm, so there's something I don't get:

Is this movie going to ignore all past Star Trek 'canon', starting over from scratch (like Batman, ignoring all the previous movies), or is just retelling the same story with a new cast? I've heard from both camps but no one seems to be sure.

twig, you and I can sit around and watch DS9. Avery Brooks? Hell, yes! I used to watch "Spencer For Hire" with my dad, and so when DS9 started airing, I thought, "Hawk in space? Fuckin' awesome!!" Brooks is one baaad motherfucker.

Huh. Well that makes it sound a lot more interesting!

Im gonna youtube myself some Gorne to wash that trailer out of my eyes.

s. pisaster technically and being super nerd like, there were nine versions of the Enterprise shown throughout the various incarnations of Star Trek. Two are only shown in paintings.