web counter
 

Welcome To The Most Baffling Trailer Of The Week

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (22)

soul_surfer_m.jpg

Well, this is weird.

OK, let’s watch the trailer before anything else (note, there’s 30 inexplicable seconds of blank screen at the beginning — it’s not your computer):

So, it’s Blue Crush, right?

Not quite. Here’s the thing. Soul Surfer stars AnnaSophia Robb, Dennis Quaid, Helen Hunt, Carrie Underwood (!) and Kevin Sorbo (!!). It’s the story of a young woman’s passion for surfing, inspired by the story of Bethany Hamilton. It looks pretty generic and uninteresting, and that’s probably because, for some absolutely bizarre reason, the trailer leaves out the very important part:

Bethany Franklin was attacked by a shark and lost her arm, and then returned to surfing. Talk about burying the fucking lede. Or rather, ignoring it completely. It’s pretty much the main reason to make the damn movie, and yet it’s never mentioned or shown in the trailer. Once you know the facts, if you go back and watch it, you can see a couple of shots where maybe there seems to be something a little… odd about her arm. But that’s it.

Welcome to the worst marketing ploy ever. That’s like filming a trailer of Jaws but just making it look like it’s about a small-town cop who argues with the mayor. Just… weird.

Oh, and the title blows.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← The 5 "Hunkiest" Cinematic Cannibals | Which of These 5 Sex Positions Will Edward and Bella Attempt on their Wedding Night? →









Comments

Can I just say: never change the fonts used on this site.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 13, 2011 10:40 AM

Holy Crap Quaid looks buff!

Don't judge me, we're both from Houston.

I don't know why that is important or makes me less judgeable.

Fine. Forget it.

Posted by: No Pithy Name at January 13, 2011 10:40 AM

Problem 1:

It's a family-friendly 127 Hours.

Problem 2:

It features an American Idol contestant.

Problem 3:

It features an American Idol contestant who isn't singing.

Problem 4:

It features an American Idol contest acting with nothing to distract from the fact that she's an American Idol contestant, like a skirt made of ties or hovercraft racing.

Problem 5:

It's a surf movie.

Posted by: Robert at January 13, 2011 10:54 AM

Just last night I was wondering what the hell ever happened to Helen Hunt. Glad she's getting work. Now I can forget about her for another five years.

Posted by: , at January 13, 2011 10:57 AM

Has anyone here seen the real Hamilton in an interview or anything? She's a complete fucking idiot. She didn't return to surfing because she had a dream she didn't want to give up and we should all be inspired by that...she returned because she's apparently partially retarded. I suppose they'll leave that part out of the movie. Or not. Oscar bait?

Posted by: Case at January 13, 2011 10:59 AM

As I was watching the trailer, I kept thinking "This is gonna be on Lifetime and TK will realtime review it. Awesome!". But no. Theatrical release. I have no words to express my disappointment.

And Helen Hunt in that header pic? To quote Mr. Plinkett, "What's wrong with your face?!??!!?".

Posted by: Groundloop at January 13, 2011 11:19 AM

That’s like filming a trailer of Jaws but just making it look like it’s about a small-town cop who argues with the mayor.
Made me do a spit take. Well done!

Posted by: TylerDFC at January 13, 2011 11:25 AM

"inspired the world"!!!

Can I just say how much I'm against teasing? It's another form of bullying, by god. Damn teaser promo.

Posted by: SittingPat at January 13, 2011 11:25 AM

Case,

You sort of raise a point I was thinking about before you commented, which is: What, exactly, separates her from the 10 Dipsh*ts Movie Characters Who Brought Their Fates Upon Themselves? Or is there any separation? And does it make a difference whether she's in Mensa or, as you note, a fucking idiot? Where's the line? Even the smartest, most cautious adventurers can have their perfect storm where everything goes wrong, can't they?

I've always lived 300 miles from the ocean and I have no desire to get in the water when I visit the beach, so I have no idea of the inherent dangers of surfing. I mean, it looks pretty obvious a wave could break your back or snap your neck or slam you on the bottom at just about any time. Drowning seems a routine possibility. Does the possibility of shark attack always go with the turf (so to speak) as well? And I know it probably depends on the waters you're surfing.

Guess what I'm asking is, anybody here surf? Are you constantly aware of the danger?

Posted by: , at January 13, 2011 11:27 AM

"ZOMG, I LOST MY ARM!!! ALL I NEED NOW IS A MAKEOVER MONTAGE AND A CUTE GUY TO TELL ME TO GET BACK ON THAT BOARD!!!"

God damn it.

Posted by: Scott at January 13, 2011 11:48 AM

Am I the only one who still doesn't understand how Helen Hunt ever won an Oscar or got a role in anything beyond a TV sit-com?

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 13, 2011 12:19 PM

No, PaddyDog, you are not. I can't stand Helen Hunt.

Posted by: Melissa at January 13, 2011 12:43 PM

Helen Hunt always looks like she's juuuuuust about to throw up.

Posted by: superasente at January 13, 2011 12:50 PM

Pardon me, I believe Dennis Quaid caused me to drool a little bit onto my keyboard.


Mmmmm.

Muscles.

Damn, drooled again.

Posted by: linny at January 13, 2011 1:07 PM

Well, golly gee. She sure did surf over MY soul! Makes me just want to surf the shit out of that ocean. I feel all warm and armless now. Ohhhhhh, shit, that's because a shark bit off my arm and I'm bleeding everywhere. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Posted by: Lindsay at January 13, 2011 1:54 PM

TK, You knew I was coming in on this one, d'ncha?

While I was living in Bali, I met Bethany and saw her surf some RIDICULOUSLY frightening waves (triple overhead waves at Padang Padang, when I didn't even consider going out) -- and yes, with one arm.

If Danny Boyle deserves a movie, Bethany definately deserves one. She also deserves much more exposure outside the surfing world than she's had to date. She's very nice, pretty, (from what I hear) not bitter at what happened, extremely talented, and she's got balls of steel (although not really, cuz she's a girl ... and steel balls would rust in salt water).

This trailer, tho ... not so much.

Posted by: A Bowl of Stupid at January 13, 2011 1:57 PM

Well, if she's nice AND pretty, by God, the woman deserves a movie!

Posted by: Lindsay at January 13, 2011 2:19 PM

My sister and I refer to Quaid at all times as Dennis Take Me Now Quaid. Admittedly, we started doing that in the 80s.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 13, 2011 2:56 PM

Apropos of nothing really, the title Soul Surfer makes me think of Soul Survivors, a perfectly awful movie with Eliza Dushku in it that I've seen TWICE, because I forgot I'd seen it at one point, and I'm compelled to watch bad horror movies. But not THAT BAD. TWICE.

Can you tell I'm bitter?

Anyway, if it was some sort of ghost/horror surfing movie, I'd totally watch it. "Inspiring the world after personal tragedy" = me avoiding like the plague.

Posted by: MM at January 13, 2011 3:21 PM

When I saw the header photo, I totally thought Dennis Quaid was actually Josh Brolin.

Posted by: Bistro at January 14, 2011 12:25 AM

You must read: The Greatest White Shark Story Ever Told!
"My Friend Michale" a true story about the Real Jaws.

Posted by: kenneth grimshaw at January 14, 2011 7:44 AM

I actually saw an early screening of this last month. It was pretty good. Pajiba will hate it for multiple reasons and it won't win any oscars, but it is a true story you can take the kids to see without having to suffer through stupidity or feel like their minds are being poisoned.

Posted by: Karenann at January 14, 2011 2:41 PM