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Single White Biebmale

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (18)



the-roommate-movie.jpg

Oh, February, you glorious dumping ground of crap. Where the studioops go to die, nestled among the re-releases of the Oscar noms.

I guess every generation needs their “cah-razy” roommate story. But honestly, this trailer seems to typify everything that is wrong with the Generation Cyrus the Virus. From the name, to the bland television actors, to the stale cliche shopping, to the music in the trailer, it’s just painful. This is going to be another PG-13 forget-me-not that earns all its keep on a weekend when better R rated films are playing. I didn’t think they could actually auto-tune a plot, but ta-fucking-dah.

There’s the BlackBerry Rule in screenwriting: you should never write a movie that can be solved with basic technology. A cell phone, a Facebook page, a simple fucking Google search — and they seem to use them all. Nowadays, people exchange friend requests like they’re Japanese businessmen trade business cards. So you’re telling me that today, a college freshman wouldn’t have already gone on to their roommate’s Facebook page to see if they were roomed with a psycho-loser?

Seriously though, these actors are named Cam Gigandet, Leighton Meester, and Minka Kelly? It’s like aliens chose random words to make birth certificates from. Do not be afraid, hu-mon — Mountebank Coffeequeue comes in peace.

I don’t even have the energy to be mad at this film. It’s like bringing cake in a grocery-store plastic container to a dinner party. Everyone involved knows you didn’t try. It’s almost better not to have gone to the effort.










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Comments

1rd

Posted by: Adventureman at September 20, 2010 1:54 PM

Watching Leighton Meester stroking Minka Kelly's hair in bed, "creepy" and "scary" aren't really the words that spring to mind.

Posted by: Todd at September 20, 2010 1:56 PM

2th

Posted by: Rykker at September 20, 2010 1:57 PM

3st

Posted by: logar at September 20, 2010 2:09 PM

Aww, I love Minka Kelly! She was a cast member on Pajiba favorite Friday Night Lights. And she was lovely, although not really a stellar actress.

Leighton Meester - well, she's on Gossip Girl. So, there's that.

I don't know who Cam Giganticnobody is.

This movie looks about as good as can be expected for two mediocre television actresses (and Aly Michalka? From the Disney channel? Ugh) and some random generically cute boy.

Posted by: Kristobel at September 20, 2010 2:21 PM

Leighton Meester is the best actor on Gossip Girl, and while I realize that's not saying a lot, she is really a pretty good actress. This will at the very least make a passable Sunday diversion movie when it inevitably comes to Lifetime.

Posted by: Katie at September 20, 2010 3:07 PM

They make it sound like the girl doesn't find out where her room is and who her roommate is until check-in day. I've never heard of such a thing for college freshmen--we got letters with our room assignments and roommate assignments weeks in advance. I met my roommate over the summer before we even roomed together.

Posted by: Lindsay at September 20, 2010 3:20 PM

8nd.

Posted by: twig at September 20, 2010 3:45 PM

Number Nine. Number Nine. Number Nine. NUMBER NINE. NUMBER NINE. NUMBER NINE. Number 9. Number 9. Number 9.

Posted by: The Beatles at September 20, 2010 4:53 PM

My first college roommate didn't appear until move-in day. He had spent the summer canning fish in Alaska, which taught him to never spend the summer canning fish in Alaska. He read a lot of Kurt Vonnegut, sold weed to our entire dorm, and used my frying pan to kill a mouse.
I really wish I had been able to get in contact with him before move-in day. Might have saved me the sanity.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at September 20, 2010 5:00 PM

If I were a creepy person, and trying to successfully maintain my ability to remain creepy without hassle, I would try not to be caught staring at people, with half my face obstructed by a wall, door, or bookcase. And yet in every movie, bam they're caught. It just take a little planning people.

Posted by: e at September 20, 2010 5:29 PM

Cam Giandet is the bad guy in Twilight. and he is awful.

Yeah, I am ashamed that I know this...

Posted by: Syl at September 20, 2010 6:59 PM

I have to say, Leighton Meester pulls off crazy very well.

Posted by: denesteak at September 20, 2010 10:17 PM

Adventureman made me laugh...gimmick post away, buddy.

Posted by: stryker1121 at September 20, 2010 10:17 PM

Aren't all these actors like 30? And they are college freshmen? You know should play a college freshman in a movie? Miley Cyrus.Since she actually should be a college freshman.

Posted by: Sean at September 20, 2010 11:15 PM

Oh Jim Doggie, that made me laugh, I'm sure it was traumatic for you, but thanks!

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at September 21, 2010 12:02 AM

As Buckaroo Banzai showed us, all aliens have funny names, like John Smallberries or John Bigboote. Douglas Adams also demonstrated this, with names like Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox. All of which goes to show that the aliens are already here, and they walk amoung us... and they appear in really crappy TV shows and movies.

Posted by: CptCrckpot at September 21, 2010 4:11 AM

Cam Giandet is Danny Romalotti Jr, Jesus, how can you people not know that...

Posted by: Me at September 21, 2010 3:22 PM