She's The Hero We Deserve, But Not The One We Need Right Now
film / tv / lists / guides / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / podcasts / web culture / politics / dc / snl / netflix / marvel / cbr

She's The Hero We Deserve, But Not The One We Need Right Now: The Best Wonder Woman Film You'll Never See

By TK | Trailers | February 28, 2013 | Comments ()


Wonder Woman is one of those comic book characters that repeatedly gets short shrift, and that's unfortunate. The character herself has a somewhat complex, anti-feminist history -- a super strong woman who wore a shiny bathing suit, whose original weakness was being chained or bound by a man. Not exactly Gloria Steinem territory here. She's evolved over time, and become both more powerful and more respectable, gone through a few costume changes, but she's still pretty much running around in a bustier. It's one of those characters that's in desperate need of a makeover, yet know one has quite figured out how.

And she's had her share of media iterations, from Linda Carter's goofy TV adaptation to David E. Kelley's horrendously bad, confusing, weird failure of a series that never even got to air its pilot. Just as well, because I've seen it, and it was... not good.

Joss Whedon's been bandying about doing his own big screen adaptation of her for a while, but he's busy trying to find another warehouse to store all of his Avengers money while still doing Shakespearean passion projects. In short, she ain't going nowhere. To date, the best adaptation was probably the animated movie that featured Keri Russell, who actually did a terrific job with it. The truth is, I don't know if there really is a place for Wonder Woman. Not because we don't need female superheroes -- god, I wish we had more. But because I don't know that this one is the best one for us to use as a model. I'd rather see... well, really I'd rather just have a non-Halle Berry Storm movie, but that's just the drugs talking.

But there's always fan films, and here is one of the better ones. This is a trailer, directed by Jesse V. Johnson, for a Wonder Woman flick that'll never see the light of day. It's pretty badass, starring mostly-unknown actress Nina Bergman as a 40's era Wonder Woman fighting Nazis. She's got a good physicality and decent presence, and it's got just enough budget to look respectable, even if it's a little goofy at times (my favorite is the SS soldier wearing a T-shirt that says "SS," like it's his home football team).
Take a lookie:

Not bad, eh? It has entirely too much slow-motion, which is something that crops up when you have weak fight choreography, but considering this was made for peanuts, I'll give that a pass. Most frustrating is unfortunate decision to throw in a rape threat from one of her captors, and second most frustrating is the fact that she's still wearing that silly bathing suit replete with a gratuitous ass shot was, well, gratuitous. It's good, not great, but still better than most of what you've likely seen recently.

Phantom Review: That Lonely Sinking Feeling Creeps Up On Me | Sam Raimi Has Done Some Great And Terrible Things In His Career. This Mila Kunis Sh*tshow Isn't One Of Them.

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Rosie

    Hollywood has never taken the trouble to do a major film about a comic book heroine in the leading role. When Marvel did "ELEKTRA", they turned it into a B-movie and pretty much wasted Jennifer Garner's time and talent. Or they'll have movies that feature comic book heroines as part of a team - like the X-MEN films or THE AVENGERS.

    As long as Hollywood is dominated by men, there will never be a major "A" film about WONDER WOMAN or any other comic book heroine.

  • BlackRabbit


    *twirls back* Also, check out the fan-made Power Girl short-films. *twirls away again*

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Now that I've been able to *watch* it - wow, does she own that outfit. And does some pretty sweet fighting. I hate the bangs, and the use of the phrase "super woman" (uber frau?) but good overall effort. (gratuitous ass shot actually didn't bother me *too* much - it would've been the cape shot for Batman or Superman, but her back is a little more exposed)

  • Tinkerville

    This is awesome. All it's missing is her breaking out the Lasso of Truth, which, granted, is probably hard to pull off on film, but I want to see it anyway.

  • Green Lantern

    I've always thought the "warrior for peace" angle should be emphasized for WW, not to mention making full use of the Greco-Roman pantheon of which most people are familiar.

    TK's right though, the animated WW movie from a few years back was pretty perfect. A clever person from Hollywood could just decide to remake that as a live-action film and have a big hit on their it would be a way to intro the Justice League movie.

    But...nah...we know there aren't any clever people in Hollywood. Who'm I kidding?

  • gp

    cuuuute boots tho

  • Andrew J Moore

    The bondage stuff hasn't been current since 1949. The main issue with Wonder Woman is that the comics industry is staffed and (largely) consumed by males - frequently of the geeky variety. So she's been a token for most of her history.

    Plus, of course, she's no-where near as simple as most ever other superhero you can name. WW is not about "punch villian, maintain status quo" like, well, almost every superhero ever (the X-men being a shining exception). Since her launch in the early '40s, she's quite explicitly been 'world peace' and 'improve the lot of mankind'.

    And that's often too complicated for a 20 page comic.

  • whynotwhocares

    What's with the hyperlinks in Pajiba articles being Internet ads? You did remove them just now, but this is the second time I've seen it.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I don't know much about the character, but it seems entirely possible that Wonder Woman may never fit into progressive society. At least not without completely re-creating the character. Which I guess you could do for the name recognition. I don't know. The outfit has to go immediately, the sooner it's in the trash heap, the sooner we can find an acceptable alternative.

  • The outfit has elements that can stay, but since she's a Greek warrior from a Hellenistic culture, she really ought to dress like a Greek warrior from a Hellenistic culture. But even without changing the one-piece swim suit, she can be pretty awesome...

  • Yak. Kate Winslet, I say.

  • Winslet is one of the best actresses ever, and absolutely gorgeous, but she's not right for Wonder Woman. If only we could make a science baby out of her and Gina Carano, we'd be set. Lucy Lawless could have done it when she was Xena, but now she'd make an awesome Hippolyta.

  • These glasses and that hair I posted up a few spots. Ooh, I get chills just thinking about it.

  • I dunno what glasses have to do with Wonder Woman. She doesn't need a Clark Kent-like alter ego. Don't pay any attention to that 70s propaganda! (Or, David E. Kelley.) I'm not saying she couldn't do it, I just have a hard time seeing it. At 5'7 she is taller than I'd have thought, but that's no Amazonian.

  • I guess glasses remind me of Carter's version--which I loved (shut up). An homage...

  • Yeah, Linda Carter is great, but it's not the best Wonder Woman. TK's right to talk about how confused the character is, but the TV show is a detriment and a liability. Kate Winslet's better than that, is what I'm saying.

  • Rosie

    Who is the best? Aside from Cathy Lee Crosby (who was stuck in a lousy TV movie), who is another candidate aside from Carter?

  • As a live action performance, there are no challengers. I meant the show's portryal of the character, not the actress. I linked elsewhere in these comments to who I think has had the best handle on the character and that's in comic form. Y'know, her roots.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ack, no. I can't buy Winslet as action hero.

  • I want to see Wonder Woman, not Wonder Girl.

  • Bert_McGurt

    That's good, because Wonder Girl is terrible.

  • God Of Bal-Sagoth

    I'm still holding out hope for Gina Carano.

  • That could work.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    yeah, just someone a little more Amazonian. Winslet is rounded and sexy - but doesn't come across as athletic and strong to me. Or, and this is extremely superficial, capable of rocking the dark hair.

blog comments powered by Disqus