She's The Hero We Deserve, But Not The One We Need Right Now: The Best Wonder Woman Film You'll Never See
Wonder Woman is one of those comic book characters that repeatedly gets short shrift, and that’s unfortunate. The character herself has a somewhat complex, anti-feminist history — a super strong woman who wore a shiny bathing suit, whose original weakness was being chained or bound by a man. Not exactly Gloria Steinem territory here. She’s evolved over time, and become both more powerful and more respectable, gone through a few costume changes, but she’s still pretty much running around in a bustier. It’s one of those characters that’s in desperate need of a makeover, yet know one has quite figured out how.
And she’s had her share of media iterations, from Linda Carter’s goofy TV adaptation to David E. Kelley’s horrendously bad, confusing, weird failure of a series that never even got to air its pilot. Just as well, because I’ve seen it, and it was… not good.
Joss Whedon’s been bandying about doing his own big screen adaptation of her for a while, but he’s busy trying to find another warehouse to store all of his Avengers money while still doing Shakespearean passion projects. In short, she ain’t going nowhere. To date, the best adaptation was probably the animated movie that featured Keri Russell, who actually did a terrific job with it. The truth is, I don’t know if there really is a place for Wonder Woman. Not because we don’t need female superheroes — god, I wish we had more. But because I don’t know that this one is the best one for us to use as a model. I’d rather see… well, really I’d rather just have a non-Halle Berry Storm movie, but that’s just the drugs talking.
But there’s always fan films, and here is one of the better ones. This is a trailer, directed by Jesse V. Johnson, for a Wonder Woman flick that’ll never see the light of day. It’s pretty badass, starring mostly-unknown actress Nina Bergman as a 40’s era Wonder Woman fighting Nazis. She’s got a good physicality and decent presence, and it’s got just enough budget to look respectable, even if it’s a little goofy at times (my favorite is the SS soldier wearing a T-shirt that says “SS,” like it’s his home football team).
Take a lookie:
Not bad, eh? It has entirely too much slow-motion, which is something that crops up when you have weak fight choreography, but considering this was made for peanuts, I’ll give that a pass. Most frustrating is unfortunate decision to throw in a rape threat from one of her captors, and second most frustrating is the fact that she’s still wearing that silly bathing suit replete with a gratuitous ass shot was, well, gratuitous. It’s good, not great, but still better than most of what you’ve likely seen recently.
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