Pajiba

Great, now I have the mental image of Dennis Quaid getting UFIA. BRAIN BLEACH!

Why the hell is Meg Ryan wearing Jack Nicholson's 'Joker' prosthetic from Tim Burton's Batman for a movie directed by Cheryl Hines and written by Adrienne Shelly?

That makes about as much sense as casting Timothy Hutton as the object of Kristen Bell's affection.

Kballs...you can always clean Meg Ryan up with a brand new bottle of Chipotlaway.

bah, the only thing good meg ryan's ever been in was dennis quaid, and *that* was just her finger.

Thanks a lot gp. No, really, I mean it. I wasn't feeling all that well, then I read that, went to the bathroom, puked out all the evil stuff, and now I feel better.

Just wish I could find a breath mint.

Wow, Kristen Bell must really need money. I'm sure many of you gentlemen would be happy to help her out in far less degrading and humiliating ways.

Posted by: becks at October 16, 2009 10:13 AM
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I was thinking of strapping her to a chair ... that would still be less humiliating, right?

Couple other things I thought while watching that:

1. Why can't moviemakers just show a car going around a curve? Why does it have to be a sequence of three cuts?

2. Why don't movie characters who get strapped to chairs ever have to take a dump? I'd think that would get you unstrapped in a hurry.

Good Morning, Dustin:

All I need to know is this - at any point during the film, does Kristen Bell remove her top and just kind of... like, sway in place? I'm only asking because you used the word "jangly" in the second paragraph, three lines down, fourth word in.

I appreciate your willingness in answering this question, as it directly relates to whether or not I will bring my fanny pack to the theater with me. Not the fanny pack I bought at Sea World with the dolphin-shaped zipper pull, but the one with the heating element and satin-lined bottom compartment.

Again, thank you for your help,
Skittimus Maximus Esquire, III

Meg Ryan is the poor man's Amanda Tapping (who is coincidently a study in aging gracefully).

I can kind of see how the guy in this managed to catch Ryan, but Bell? Does he have a golden penis or something?

I haven't actually watched the trailer yet, but it sort of looks like the scene in Red Dragon where Frances Dolarhyde glues the reporter to the chair and makes him watch videos of his murders. Perhaps ol' Meg is subjecting him to You've Got Mail or City of Angels.

Kballs! How could you insult Chipotle like that? Chipotle is very tasty, with its smoked accents and its pretty easy to handle spiciness. I'd venture a guess as to say she looks more like habanero shit. Seriously, habaneros are obnoxiously hot. Not flavorfully hot, obnoxious and blaring. And the shit?! It's the type that burns coming out and looks just as painful. Something you would kill with fire, if it wasn't already burning with Satan's special brand of fuckery.

Now take all of that imagery and tell me it's not symbolic of a Meg Ryan double feature of In The Cut and The Women. You can't can you? Why? Because Meg Ryan is an obnoxious Ewok! I've had hot sauce in my eyes before, and watching the trailers to those two movies felt EXACTLY like that did!

Hmmm... you know, if you shoved you hand up Meg's ass and sat her on your knee, she'd make an excellent ventriloquist dummy. I mean really, blank expression, wooden acting and only her bottom lip moves. Plus you could tell people you were elbow deep in Meg Ryan.

Is it just me or does it seem like Meg Ryan is trying to act like Jennifer Anniston in this movie? Some of the gesturing seems familiar..

Speaking of... what do you bet that Jen A watches this movie, does a face slap and says "Why didn't I think of that?"

Bucdaddy, he's strapped to the toilet.

Posted by: Cindy at October 16, 2009 10:34 AM
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He is?

*watches trailer 4-5 more times*

Well, in one shot it looks like he might be, and Ryan closes a door on him that has a hook and what looks like a robe on the back. But it also looks like he maybe still has his pants on. And then another scene it looks like maybe he's in a bedroom or something ... I don't have audio on this PC, did someone flush and I didn't hear it?

I know, I know, I'm trying to make sense out of a ludicrously plotted romcom where someone throws a flower pot (or whatever it is) at a man who makes no effort to duck or deflect it with an arm and it hits him in the head WHY? Because he HAS to be rendered unconscious or there's no movie.

I just can't help myself.

Souds to me like one might be rendered unconscious by this movie.

I used to love Meg Ryan. Jesopus, she has gone an fucked herself up and good.

And, Really?
Duct taped to a toilet until he falls in love with her?
I must be doing this whole relationship thing all wrong.
{gets duct tape}
Anyone want to come over to my place?

Seriously?? If I wanted to watch a man be strapped down against his will, I'd be watching 9 to 5. You can't beat Lily Tomlin.

What a simplistic piece of crap. I liked Waitress, there was more heart and soul in one line of that movie than I bet there is in this whole abortion. And it had the Fillion in it, so how can you go wrong?

I have an idea, let's go see a "romantic comedy" where not one of the people in the trailer seems likable. Not the "powerful" woman who is being left, not the weak husband doing the leaving or the other characters I can't be bothered to give a steaming bowel movement about. And I bet you three dollars Ryan convinces him to stay. If this was 20 years ago, she had the artillery to do it, but now she looks like a younger version of herself mashed up against some glass.

Damn it, Cheryl Hines, just because you found this lying around after the horrible incident didn't mean you needed to film it. What's next, her grocery list? You should have left well enough alone. Waitress was a cute light movie and would have been enough to remember her with. You suck for doing this to her name.

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