The new teaser trailer for Phillip Noyce’s Salt looks downright ass-kicking, although it’ll take you 90 seconds to get there. Initially, Salt looks similar to another generic espionage thriller, the likes of which Clive Owen has made a career out of lately. But then … then … then, gloriousness happens. Jolie throws off the prim-and-proper mask, and kicks out the motherfucking jams.
You feelin’ me? Yeah, you are. This is why Angelina Jolie is the best female action star in the world, y’all. For all I know, she may be a nutcase in real life, but goddamn, she can kick some ass.
I can't watch this at work, but just reading your thoughts on it makes me a little excited for a movie I previously would not have bothered even thinking about, let alone seeing. So, well done sir.
Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 4, 2009 6:05 PM
You feelin’ me? Yeah, you are. This is why Angelina Jolie is the best female action star in the world, y’all. For all I know, she may be a nutcase in real life, but goddamn, she can kick some ass.
Might be crazy? Jolie's as nutty as an acorn tree, but she's the good kind of crazy. She's Tesla crazy, not Glenn Beck crazy.
Ass-kicking Jolie is enthusiastic thumbs-up. Oscar-baiting Jolie is meh.
Posted by: MM at November 4, 2009 6:23 PM
Hmmm....Angie in "fuck an Oscar, let me go kill shit" mode AND Chiwetel Ejiofor in a role I don't have to watch behind hands of embarrassment? I can get behind this.
Jolie's as nutty as an acorn tree, but she's the good kind of crazy. She's Tesla crazy, not Glenn Beck crazy.
Speaking of, I always wondered how she got like that. Then I saw a recent Jon Voight interview.
Been waiting on this film since my commute to work in downtown Albany was interrupted for a week straight during filming. This trailer makes a parking garage off 787 look suspiciously glamorous.
Posted by: linzertart at November 4, 2009 6:56 PM
Hooo-weee.
1:55 ago I didn't give a shit about this movie. Now I'm champing at the bit to see it.
I think I would pay $100 to see Angelina Jolie and Tricia Helfer fight each other for 30 minutes.
Posted by: Groovekiller at November 4, 2009 7:39 PM
Jolie would be more convincing as an asskicker if she had some meat on her bones. I don't really believe those painfully bony arms have the strength to kill a fly.
Posted by: Eva at November 4, 2009 7:44 PM
Part of me loves Angie, and part of me hates her. Right now I love her.
One will wonder if the movie will be worth its salt.
Posted by: The Wanderer at November 4, 2009 8:03 PM
Whee! Why we gotta wait so long?
Posted by: Cindy at November 4, 2009 8:30 PM
Did anybody mind that Tom Cruise was not in that trailer? Didn't think so. Maybe more male roles should be switched out for female ones. That way actresses would have more to do than hook and cook.
Posted by: Lauren at November 4, 2009 9:03 PM
Sing it, Lauren.
Posted by: Louise at November 4, 2009 9:14 PM
I love that Jolie through and through. I also think her thinness comes from that weird mom phase when you're chasing the kids to keep them from killing themselves flying down the steps, and you forget to feed yourself you're so busy. When the kiddies are bigger, I bet she'll fill out again.
I imagine she's juggling a lot of shit to keep the whole enterprise up in the air, and I totally admire her for it. She's living her success with a lot of grace, I think. And no matter what, she works hard for other people. There's a lot of grunt work involved in that and you can't call her every move in advocacy some kind of fame-whoring attempt. Those Speidi asses show how easy it is to just get press, am I right?
And her husband dressed up as DJ Lance Bass for halloween. His name is Bradley, he likes to dance.
Anyhow, I'll stop fawning. But I will see this for sure.
Posted by: replica at November 4, 2009 9:32 PM
I think I would pay $100 to see Angelina Jolie and Tricia Helfer fight each other for 30 minutes.
Just as long as they lesbianed each other afterwards.
With her pipecleaner thin arms AJ is so NOT impressive as an Action Hero.
Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at November 4, 2009 10:28 PM
Keep a close eye on the trailer for the Smash Williams cameo at 0:24.
Posted by: Tim at November 4, 2009 10:47 PM
Oh, right, I remember hearing about this ages ago. It was initially going to star a guy and be named Edwin Salt, then they decided to just say fuckit and cast Angelina Jolie and make the title character female. I forgot all about it as it slipped into production obscurity, but here we are after all.
Cool. Some actual upper arm strength on Ms. Jolie would be nice for believability though, I agree. I don't care if she's sipping all her nutrients through a straw once a week or if it's completely natural - it really makes her hard to buy as an action heroine; she's just lucky she's so good at pulling the action thing off otherwise.
Posted by: Nat at November 4, 2009 10:53 PM
Damn, I love me some action Jolie. Damn!
Posted by: agent bedhead at November 4, 2009 11:17 PM
God, I love it when Angelina breaks things. Like my heart.
I had such a crush on her in middle school, immediately post "Hackers." Then she went and abandoned all us faithful weirdo fangals. Now she pretends to be normal, but I miss the blood-wearing, ill-advised tattoo-getting, "Girl, Interrupted" starring, wide eyed "I might just kill you" staring, I-like-to-eat-sandwiches boob having Angelina. *sigh*
Posted by: Leah at November 4, 2009 11:51 PM
Keep a close eye on the trailer for the Smash Williams cameo at 0:24.
I didn't catch that until you pointed it out! Good eye.
This actually looks fun, but I hope it's better than Wanted, which I hated. I thought it was ridiculous, and not in the awesome way but in the really stupid way.
Posted by: lucy at November 4, 2009 11:51 PM
I think the girl looks DAMN good. What is it, 3 babies in 4 years? Yeah, thin arms, but maybe it's just her. They were thin when she was pregnant too. I have a friend who is built just like her(fake boobs though), eats like a horse, and looks like she must be anorexic.
Bitch.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 5, 2009 12:39 AM
Yeah...I can't get behind any action star who can't lift 50lbs. It just ain't happening. When you barely look like you can kick your own ass...how the fuck are we supposed to believe you're kicking other peoples?
Posted by: DeistBrawler at November 5, 2009 1:42 AM
That's one salt I would love to lick!
Posted by: elzupasmonkey at November 5, 2009 5:49 AM
So at the end of the trailer is she pulling off a fake rubber face that looks like Angelina Jolie to reveal another face underneath that looks like Angelina Jolie?
I think it would have been better if the movie started out with Angelina Jolie and then she pulls her rubber face off and it's Tom Cruise.
Posted by: BWeaves at November 5, 2009 9:19 AM
And Salt was partially filmed in Albany so it'll show our insane highways
Posted by: Nerf at November 5, 2009 9:57 AM
People saying she looks too thin = jealous women who will never, ever be as attractive as the Jolie. She looks shitdamnfuckingasstastically good.
Posted by: bendiagram at November 5, 2009 10:12 AM
Is it just me, or does Angie look like she's late for school and running to catch the bus in that picture? DON'T FORGET YOUR LUNCH MONEY, GIRLFRIEND!
Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at November 5, 2009 10:17 AM
Now I'm champing at the bit to see it.
Posted by: Jerce at November 4, 2009 6:57 PM
---
My hero.
I wonder ... if Jolie didn't have couch cushion lips would anyone ever have heard of her? She'd just be another bony face.
Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 5, 2009 10:34 AM
bendiagram: No one's saying she isn't attractive as all hell.
It's just that those skinny limbs have no muscle or meat and so cannot even look like they hit hard enough to make this asskicker persona remotely believable.
I actually find it pretty silly that she and the movie makers ask us to take that seriously. Anorexic looking woman with barely the strength to get out of bed kicks dozens of asses? Hilarious.
Posted by: Eva at November 5, 2009 11:29 AM
Is she really any skinnier than Uma Thurman in Kill Bill? Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angels?
Just askin'...
The truth is that if she actually looked buff enough to kick that kind of ass, people would say she is too butch {see: Demi More, Linda Hamilton}
A girl can't win!
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 5, 2009 12:02 PM
L w/ an E: I could *never* look at Demi Moore or Linda Hamilton and think
'butch'. That look you're referencing (I'm assuming GI Jane or Terminator)
makes me think still somewhat thin, stringy and well-defined.
Then again, my definition of a beautiful woman is right there bordering on
what I've heard some say (and equally often, with a bit of disdain) is a "thick"
gal. Rubeneque, shapely, womanly.
Immediately coming to mind is Ms C Hendricks from Mad Men [chuckle].
If I'm thinking "butch", I'm going with Roseanne, Rosie, is Michelle Rodriquez
in there? Maybe even that Tilda Swinton (although she looks kinda hungry too).
I know. Splitting hairs here and there. Best, MsMoMo
Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 5, 2009 12:19 PM
Forgot to mention. Ms Jolie in 'GIA'. Now that was the hawt-ness.
This movie does look interesting. I'm there.
Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 5, 2009 12:21 PM
Forgot to mention. Ms Jolie in 'GIA'. Now that was the hawt-ness.
This movie does look interesting. I'm there.
Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 5, 2009 12:23 PM
Yes, Lindsey she is skinnier than Uma and Lucy. Far skinnier.
And of course some people are going to have something to say about her no matter what she looks like, we all know that so it's pointless to argue. But personally I have never once considered Linda or Demi "too butch" nor heard anyone else say so. Including from my very-heterosexual older brothers who at their time were completely in love with both of them.
Do people consider Jessica Biel "too butch"? She has great musculature and is still widely considered a hottie. And seeing her in an asskicking role I would believe that she could, in fact, actually kick some ass if she chose. Not that I even like her, I'm just sayin.
Posted by: Eva at November 5, 2009 2:09 PM
Crazy nutty acorn lady needs to eat more...nuts? Add 20 lbs to her and I'll buy tickets to see this.
Posted by: Be Adequite! at November 5, 2009 5:47 PM
Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessMeet.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.
I can't watch this at work, but just reading your thoughts on it makes me a little excited for a movie I previously would not have bothered even thinking about, let alone seeing. So, well done sir.