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In This Life or the Next

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (53)

hood.jpg

Ridley Scott! Russell Crowe! Historical (sort of) epic action! Can you blame them? The last time they got together they got Oscars for their trouble, little shiny gold validation dolls. What’s that? A Good Year? If a movie is made and then forgotten by everyone but Wikipedia, was it really ever made?

Apparently set in an alternate history in which time only moves in slow motion, the trailer reveals not the slightest substantial thing about the movie in any way. There are swords, slow motion, yelling, and a bad ass Russell Crowe. And it’s about Robin Hood because that’s its title, although you don’t get much sense of the stealing from the rich, giving to the poor core of that story. Verdict? A meh trailer, but one that doesn’t necessarily detract from the potential fun of the movie.

I’m also going to go out on a credibility destroying limb here and admit that I have an irrational fondness generally for the Robin Hood myth and specifically for Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Don’t judge me, it had Morgan Freeman, Alan Rickman, and Christian fricking Slater.

(TK actually found this trailer but the authorities found his lair this morning and he is now making for the border on a white stallion)







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Comments

I have an irrational fondness for Russell Crowe. Something about a big, beefy, burly man who looks like he can either take your head off in one swipe, or throw you down and ravage you 8 ways from Sunday does something funny to me loins.....

sorry, *bunk*

Posted by: dammitjanet at December 15, 2009 9:54 AM

I love Russell Crowe. As my best friend said in front of my mother-in-law, 'oh she has always been attracted to jerks'

I hated the stupid Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie. With the Arrow Cam and the costantly changing accents...

Posted by: Amanda at December 15, 2009 10:00 AM

I love Prince of Thieves too even if Kevin Costner is god awful in it and we had to listen to that bloody Bryan Adams song for the majority of my teens. It kind of adds to its charm. Also, Alan Rickman can do no wrong, can he?

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at December 15, 2009 10:00 AM

The only thing that sticks in my mind about this project is a rumor I read that the wee little starlet originally cast as the love interest (forgot who; who gives a shit anyway?) had to be dumped and her scenes re-shot because the contrast between a young slender starlet and the aging pork bus that Russell Crowe has become would have made Crowe a laughingstock.

Anybody know if there's any truth to that? 'Cause if there's not, there will be nothing interesting about this film at all.

Posted by: Jerce at December 15, 2009 10:01 AM

Is it just me or after he flipped the sword in his hand, was Stanley Tucci about to fuck Russell Crowe up big time?

Posted by: PissBoy at December 15, 2009 10:02 AM

Wasn't it Sienna Miller? Or have I made that up?

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at December 15, 2009 10:04 AM

Oh it was, but she hadn't filmed anything.

Sources close to the star claimed it was because she was too youthful next to the older Mr Crowe, who has reportedly struggled to shed the weight he gained during the filming of spy film Body of Lies.

One was quoted by the Sunday Mirror as saying: "The love scenes would have been laughable.

"He's so old and fat and she's so young and gorgeous.

"It's just gross."

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at December 15, 2009 10:05 AM

I’m also going to go out on a credibility destroying limb here and admit that I have an irrational fondness generally for the Robin Hood myth and specifically for Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Don’t judge me, it had Morgan Freeman, Alan Rickman, and Christian fricking Slater.

I support you 100%. I, too, have an irrational fondness for this movie. I think I saw it four times in the theater. I had the soundtrack. I think I even read the novelization of the movie. (I was working in a library at the time and there was a lot of downtime at the job).

To this day, I still quote this movie far more than I ever should.

"To the trees!"
"Move faster."
"You whine like a mule."
"I have a brother? I have a brother!"

My favorite remains: "Why a spoon, cousin?"

In fact, for the first four and a half years of our marriage, whenever Mrs. FBD asked for a spoon I always replied with that. And then, about six months ago, it got banned. I am not longer allowed to say in the house. :(

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at December 15, 2009 10:06 AM

Or it was because she's a 'home wrecker', and her reputation in the US has been ruined, depending on what you read.

(And bollocks to my italic fail there)

And now I shall shut up.

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at December 15, 2009 10:08 AM

I had the distinct impression that I heard the sound of a fly being unzipped at the beginning of that trailer. It kind of turned it into a comedy porno trailer for me and I couldn't stop laughing.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 15, 2009 10:18 AM

I will also trumpet my love for Prince of Thieves. So very, very good.

"Where I come from, we talk to our women. We do not drug them with plants."

Posted by: Snath at December 15, 2009 10:25 AM

The Kevin Costner version is a glorious mess. Part 100% fabulous action comedy, part 100% KC disaster, part 100% horrendous soundtrack. It's like a perfect storm of misfit components that makes one of the best movies of my relative youth.

And Sean Fucking Connery!

I see no particular merit to remaking this, one of the most re-made stories ever. And I love the Scott/Crowe combo.

Doesn't mean I won't see it, but really: what more do they have to offer?

Posted by: ahamos at December 15, 2009 10:30 AM

Checking this out at IMDb, I saw that Scott Grimes plays Will Scarlet. That makes me very happy.

Posted by: Snath at December 15, 2009 10:35 AM

Or it was because she's a 'home wrecker'

Or because she's not gorgeous.


"Pork bus"...tee hee!

Posted by: Jay at December 15, 2009 10:38 AM

I care not for this movie- pass!

However, I HATE this trailer previewing application, it is impossible to adjust the volume on it.

Posted by: BananaPanda at December 15, 2009 10:38 AM

I have a particular distaste for 'Prince of Thieves' because when I was engaged to mr.wsapnin my brother saw him at this movie with another girl. After I beat his ass, we have been happily married for 18 years.

And I HATE that Brian Adams song. I really just hate Brian Adams, but particularly that song.

Posted by: wsapnin at December 15, 2009 10:39 AM

I'm sure Cate Blanchett would be thrilled to read that 'producers are "looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so Crowe doesn't look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s'.

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at December 15, 2009 10:43 AM

@PissBoy

I also totally thought that was the Tooch, but IMDB says no. Possibly Mark Strong in his natural, baldy glory?

Posted by: coveredinbees at December 15, 2009 10:53 AM

Two words: Errol fuckin' Flynn.

What happened to Robin Hood the swashbuckling scamp? You know, steal from the rich, then humiliate them and then arrogantly tip the hat!

We've got emo Robin on BBCA right now and apparently a pork bus siege engine Robin in the works. Why?

I bet the Pork Bus doesn't even know HOW to throw a candelabrum at Sir Guy. And if there's no flying candles, it's NOT Robin Hood.

Posted by: Lubeg at December 15, 2009 11:02 AM

Oh please, Cate Blanchett knows that any man would be lucky to have her ride their pork bus. . . any day.

Posted by: coveredinbees at December 15, 2009 11:03 AM

I feel so proud to have (apparently) re-christened Russell Crowe.

Posted by: Jerce at December 15, 2009 11:04 AM

Word, Lubeg, word.


Or at least Carey Elwes, because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, he can speak in an English accent.

Posted by: dammitjanet at December 15, 2009 11:24 AM

//checks girth of stomach

I can really appreciate the fact that when it came down to getting rid of the fat actor or the skinny actress, they chose B.

It's a man's world. I can't help it, I just live in it.

Posted by: , at December 15, 2009 11:28 AM

While I am an admitted sucker for historical epics and will doubtlessly see this, fuck the Robin Hood myth generally. He gets this rap as being for the poor, but think about the story for half a tick. He energizes the poor to overthrow a corrupt royal (redundancy?) wrongfully employing power in his brther's absence. So, he fought to restore the status quo. He only got really pissed when they took away his land--let's not forget who this guy was: landed gentry.

Robin Hood was not a community organizer. He was....a Republican distracting the poor with rhetoric to restore himself (and the royal cronies he liked) to power. Fuck that guy.

Posted by: SavageCats at December 15, 2009 11:36 AM

**brother.

Bloody typo.

Posted by: SavageCats at December 15, 2009 11:36 AM

From The Adventures of Robin Hood (1939)

LADY MARIAN: Why, you speak treason!

ROBIN: Fluently!

HA!

A little off-topic, sure, but that quote is worth working in whenever possible.

Posted by: Soulless Merchant of Fear at December 15, 2009 11:43 AM

I'm glad to read Sienna Miller aka "The Cockholster" was dropped from this project. She had NOTHING to bring, except STDs.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 15, 2009 11:44 AM

(Okay, and the movie was from 1938, not '39. D'oh!)

Posted by: Soulless Merchant of Fear at December 15, 2009 11:44 AM

I'm sure Cate Blanchett would be thrilled to read that 'producers are "looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at December 15, 2009 10:43 AM
----------------------------------------------

HAHAHAHAHA BAM!

/Likes the cut of your jib

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 15, 2009 11:47 AM

"...let's not forget who this guy was: landed gentry"

Silly SavageCats, foxes can't own property. Maybe try a little less movie news and a little more David Attenborough.

Posted by: WestCoastPat at December 15, 2009 11:58 AM

"Because it's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!"

Ah, Rickman, is there no movie you can't save by your sheer fabulousness?

Really, if they had just replaced Costner, or at least convinced him to stop trying to speak with an accent, Prince of Thieves would have been a much better movie.

As for this--meh. It seemed composed entirely of stock footage taken at a Ren Faire. Plus, rock music and medieval antics? People, have we learned nothing from LadyHawke?

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 15, 2009 12:10 PM

Plus, rock music and medieval antics? People, have we learned nothing from LadyHawke?

I think you're confusing rock music for extremely bad synth pop. (P.S. LADYHAWKE RULEZ)

Posted by: coveredinbees at December 15, 2009 12:17 PM

You know, now that I think about it, I count Disney's Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves AND Men in Tights among my favorite movies. So yes, Robin Hood kicks ass no matter how he's portrayed--fox, dweeb with American accent, foppish blond or fat guy.

Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2009 12:31 PM

"Because it's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!"

Ah, Rickman, is there no movie you can't save by your sheer fabulousness?

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 15, 2009 12:10 PM
---------------------------

After seeing Bottle Shock, I decided that what makes the world go 'round is not in fact love, or even gravity, but the force of Alan Rickman's disdain.

Posted by: SavageCats at December 15, 2009 12:40 PM

Amanda: that is one of the best things I've ever heard in my life.

Posted by: Jelinas at December 15, 2009 12:52 PM

Screw the heavy metal. The music playing in the background of this trailer ought to have been:
Makin' Movies!
Makin' Songs!
And fightin' round the wooorld!

And what's with the fighting in medieval steel armor in salt water? Don't they teach science or history in schools any more?

Posted by: Inaras at December 15, 2009 12:54 PM

I do not like Hero!RussellCrowe ('Gladiator' is worth watching only for Joaquin Phoenix as far as I'm concerned), but my desire to see what appears to be a bald, ass-kicking Mark Strong may overpower everything else.

Posted by: Mimi at December 15, 2009 2:28 PM

So, I'm the only one feeling the love for this apparently. I have liked every incarnation of Robin Hood except for the Costner atrocity, and I LOVED Gladiator.

And this one has Mr. Crowe at his beasty brawling brooding best? You bet your ass I will see this one on opening night. Bring it!

Posted by: Groovy Violet at December 15, 2009 2:34 PM

I'm gonna go out and say the stupid thing:

This is going to be Gladiator in medieval England, isn't it.

Nobleman wrongly stripped of lands and title, slow-mo battle scenes with mud, stirring speechification, and a battle to depose the crazy tyrant in favor of the less crazy tyrant. The only difference, aside from "trees in background v. no trees in background," will be that the Colosseum scenes will be replaced by heist/mugging scenes.

Robin Hood as laughing freeman, a living rebuke to the dour and brutal royalty? Not here, yo. -sigh-

Posted by: Soulless Merchant of Fear at December 15, 2009 3:15 PM

HIS NAME IS MAXIMUS DECIMUS MERIDIUS.

I enjoy the discovery of "pork bus." Will use frequently.

Posted by: duckandcover at December 15, 2009 5:44 PM

Love the Costner version. So bad in some parts, so good in others, so ridiculous too (the fucking catapult? really? "hey let's just hop on this thing, launching us 100 FEET IN THE AIR OVER A GIANT WALL AND HEY LOOK THERE'S HAY DOWN THERE, THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT"). A lot of fun to watch, but man that catapult scene kills me every single time.

What a supporting cast, Rickman/Freeman were both hilarious and bad ass at the same time.

"Now sew! And keep the stitches small."
"Cancel the kitchen scraps! No more merciful beheadings! And cancel Christmas!"

Posted by: Mick J at December 15, 2009 5:55 PM

Let's just make this all about Alan Rickman's Sheriff, shall we?

"You - my room, 10:30 tonight. You - 10:45. And bring a friend."

[trying to rape Marion] "I can't do this with all that racket!"

Posted by: Brenton at December 15, 2009 7:50 PM

Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves introduced me to the concept of the Moors, opening my eyes to the possibility that folks of a darker hue may have had more worthwhile things to contribute to the history other than spear-chucking, jungle-bunnying, and waiting to be kidnapped into slavery.

I will always love that movie for that.

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at December 15, 2009 9:33 PM

Robin Hood is one of my favorite myths, I'm kinda sad to see that they are going for the oh so serious route with this one, Robin Hood is suppose to be fun. I still have high hopes as I love both Scott and Crowe and this is obviously the boy trailer, lots of violence and hey watch this guy get hit with an ax.

If Crowe and Scott fuck this up, I will be heartbroken. We are due a good Robin Hood. Only the Errol Flynn and Disney versions hold up, and it's been like what 40-50 years since we had a good one.

Posted by: Mebe at December 15, 2009 10:51 PM

Why is he so fat? He looks more like friar Tuck than Robin Hood.

Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2009 11:21 PM

Why is he so fat? He looks more like friar Tuck than Robin Hood.

Since he's been banned from throwing phones at hotel employees skulls he's having trouble finding an exercise routine that works for him.

In other news - Steven Lloyd Wilson might I suggest we get together over a steaming hot bowl of poutine? We will discuss our mutual love for Kevin Costner's Robin Hood and later pick out matching curtains for our new apartment. What? He loves Robin Hood Prince of Thieves! Do you know how rare that is? My husband moans bitterly whenever it happens to be on the tv. Obviously Steven and I will be moving in together.

Also - by "get together" I mean chatting about our mutual love for Robin Hood Prince of Thieves not making with the kissy-kissy in a steaming hot bowl of poutine.

Unless you're into that.

Ahem.

Posted by: Kelly at December 16, 2009 12:03 AM

To almost everybody:
your disregard of Men in Tights holding up makes me nauseous. Or that could just be the Micky D's. (The world may never know)

Might I suggest:
"Hey, Blinkin!"
"Did you say 'Abe Lincoln'?"

Or possibly:
"I challenge you to a duel!"(Thwap!)
(THUNK!!)"I accept."

Other than that I agree with you, Soulless Merchant of Fear. It does really kinda look like Gladiator but in forests... and stuff.

Yay for feeling relevant!

Posted by: JohnnyThei at December 16, 2009 12:47 AM

I have so much love for Robin Hood Men in Tights and the Kevin Costner version of Robin Hood. Hell, I'll even throw in and say I love that Bryan Adams song. That's right, I totally do! (disclaimer: I understand and accept all judgment I receive regarding this matter).

This looks just 'meh' to me. Another movie for Russell Crowe to run around in, yelling and acting all dramatic. Whatever. I have never seen the appeal of Russell Crowe. Also, 'pork bus', hee.

And -800 points for no Alan Rickman

Posted by: Even Stevens at December 16, 2009 2:04 AM

I cannot believe nobody has mentioned the 1991 TV version of Robin Hood!

It was released theatrically in Europe, but shown on television here in the USA. Why? Because Prince of Thieves was due to be released in US theaters.

It stars Patrick Bergin as Robin Hood, and Uma Thurman as Maid Marian.

A much darker version of the story and really makes Costner's flick look the the fetid, pile of 'pork bus' dung that it is.

Posted by: 1% Rule at December 16, 2009 3:03 AM

Prince of fucking Thieves?!!!

When did Costner become the only thing that sucked about this movie? What about Ninja Marian? Or the Little John who didn't look English enuff so they gave him the worst blue contacts ever?! Christian Slater!!!! The movie should be used in film school to show potential filmakers what an anachronism is. Or how to properly rape a legend. or why actors who can't master a foreign accent have no business in a film about foreigners.

A catapult?!!

my faith is gone...

Posted by: protoguy at December 16, 2009 6:57 AM

I bet $5 that Rush Limbaugh will claim that this film is allegory for the tea party movement against big government ...

also ... I'm kinda disappointed ... I was hoping they would have crappy Persian accents in the film ... oh well, at least I'll still have Kevin Costner ...

Posted by: lelnguye at December 16, 2009 7:35 AM

Since he's been banned from throwing phones at hotel employees skulls he's having trouble finding an exercise routine that works for him.

Thanks for that, Kelly, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

Mick J, the thing I did like about the catapult scene was Slater's reaction; "Fuck me, he cleared it!" Also, if you watch carefully, you'll see Morgan Freeman can't find his sword's sheath and winds up tucking it under his arm.

I have a thing for Rickman, so I watched this movie a lot. I love his outrage over a) being slashed in the face by Hood, and b) discovering that someone defaced his statue with mock stitches.

"At least I didn't use a spoon, cousin."

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 16, 2009 8:28 AM

---Ridley 'Black Hawk Down' ---wasting time
and money on pointless retreads like this
---even as millions continue to suffer and
die FOR REAL -right next door to Hollywood's
'fave' mass market paradise ---ACROSS the Pacific
---on this, the once again 'mysteriously overlooked' 60th Anniversary of the urgently, epically relevant ---indeed, STILL unfolding
---KOREAN WAR?! ---what?!

HE---MUST---BE ----JOKING!

-AMEN-

Posted by: eber hart at May 14, 2010 4:40 AM


















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