Robin Hood Final Trailer

Stop Calling Him the Fat Robin Hood!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (45)

Here’s the final full-length trailer for Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood, and it is epic. And by epic, I mean: Really long and *yawn*. Would it kill someone in a Russell Crowe period movie to flash a grin every once in a while? Why does that man have to be so goddamn deadly serious?

This trailer actually made me miss the Kevin Costner version. In fact, after I watched it, I decided to download Bryan Adam’s “Everything I Do (I Do It for You),” mute the trailer, and play the song over it. It’s a much better trailer that way. And it has a strange way of syncing well. You should try it. At home. Or don’t. What do I care? You want to watch a dull-as-balls trailer without the vocal stylings of that Canadian wonder? Be my fucking guest. Hey! It’s your 150 seconds. Don’t let me try to dictate your life for you. If you want to have an unpleasant experience, go for it! All I’m saying is, it’s a better trailer with ♫ Don’t tell me, it’s not worth fighting for ♫ playing over it. Jesus. It’s not like I killed your dog.

People. just keep this in mind: Everything I do, I do it for you.

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Comments

No Robin Hood will be as good as Disney's, so I will Not(ti-Nottingham....) be watching this.

Posted by: Marcela at March 11, 2010 4:07 PM

I love this entire damn post. SO much. Starting with the title.

Posted by: figgy at March 11, 2010 4:09 PM

So...Gladiator II: Sullen Men in Tights?

Posted by: Ava at March 11, 2010 4:11 PM

Heeheehee! Oh Dustin, When it gets too much, I'm gonna run to you. You funny.

Posted by: replica at March 11, 2010 4:15 PM

Wow, that actually looks worse than the Kevin Costner version. I guess Men In Tights will get to hang on to the Best Robin Hood Movie crown a little longer.

Posted by: jbrader at March 11, 2010 4:18 PM

At this point, I kinda feel like either this movie already happened...or never actually will. So "coming soon" is severe cognitive dissonance for me.

But do you do it all for love, easy lover?

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2010 4:19 PM

I'll never understand how "Men In Tights" has such big fans. Cause, you know, it's not funny.

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2010 4:21 PM

Looks like there's a D-Day invasion in it, complete with landing craft. Needs more Tom Hanks. Or at least Vin Diesel.

Posted by: Gozer at March 11, 2010 4:22 PM

Where's Errol Flynn when you need him?

Posted by: mswas at March 11, 2010 4:27 PM

so silly.

i also loved how it was described earlier on this site, that Robin Hood stole fromt the rich and.. went to dairy queen. so silly. love it.

Posted by: amandita at March 11, 2010 4:28 PM

I remember when I was 10 and the only songs on MTV were "Everything I do", "Smells Like Teen Spirit", and "You Could Be Mine". Oh the days.

Léa Seydoux is in this. Vive La France.

Posted by: TSF at March 11, 2010 4:37 PM

Jay, have you no sense of humor?

Posted by: Uncle JR at March 11, 2010 4:41 PM

Um, Uncle JR? Have you met Jay? Even on the intarwubs, it's easy to tell he is much too serious for these petty jokes.

Posted by: Snath at March 11, 2010 4:48 PM

"Léa Seydoux is in this. Vive La France."

Huh?

::Googles Léa Seydoux::

Hello.

::Turns off SafeSearch::

Hello!

Posted by: Junior Carl at March 11, 2010 4:55 PM

@ Marcela: "No Robin Hood will be as good as Disney's"

Oo de lolly, oo de lolly, Golly what a day.

And just to clarify, Robin Hood is a trickster figure, right? Not a warrior with thousands of troops?

There was a dream that was Sherwood, Little John, and this is not it! This is NOT! IT!

Posted by: Johnny Von Awesome at March 11, 2010 4:57 PM

Look, Mel was done by that point. "Spaceballs" was the last decent thing he put out. Neither can carry "History Of The World Part I"'s jock.

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2010 5:02 PM

And no one's said it yet:

PORK BUS!!

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2010 5:03 PM

Dude, Scott Grimes is in it, playing Alan-a-Dale or whoever. He'll bring the funny, I guarantee it. (Sergeant Malarkey from Band of Brothers)

Posted by: Jeff Gray at March 11, 2010 5:08 PM

Mark Strong is the shit. With or without hair.

Posted by: Irina at March 11, 2010 5:37 PM

Diversion.
Circa Dec 1977, my Mom had something bad happen... my sister & I were
sent off about 110 mi away to live with my Dad and his wife (ya following
me here?) The place where Dad & Bren lived was an adults only (no. not
that kind of "adults only" chickabombow. Closer to Senior residents) semi schwanky moblie home (the double wides with decks and carports, ect)
park. It was called Oak Forest Mobile Estates. Back behind a small hilly area
and at the end of a long road. Gorgeous mature oak trees and lotsa fun
characters at the clubhouse (the voice of Mr Magoo lived a few streets over). Turns out, the area was where the original Errol Flynn Robin Hood film
was set. The big azz tree where he went hidee-ho swinging on a rope at one
point, was near the back of the park. We lived at 69 Little John Lane (I aint kidding).
Those were good days [sigh] ---> Robin Hood!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at March 11, 2010 6:08 PM

Ms. MoMo!! You lived down the street from Thurston Howell III?? That's OSSOM!!! And you played in Sherwood Forest?? That's ossom, too!!

And, Jeff, I knew I saw Malarkey in there!!

But, for me, it's all about Mark Strong. MARK! STRONG!!!!!

Posted by: Jelinas at March 11, 2010 6:24 PM

Cate Blanchett in the trailer syncs up with the line "Take me as I am" from Bryan Adams (at least for me).

Posted by: muzz at March 11, 2010 6:36 PM

Max Von Sydow is in it? Where do I sign! He rocks.

Posted by: eddie walker at March 11, 2010 7:06 PM

Yeah, this movie totally looks like Gladiator II. Robin Hood never had an army. He roamed around the forest, looking for fights.

Which reminds me, the trailer also works if you play the Men in Tights music over it.

"We're men! MANLY men! We're men in tights!"

Posted by: Whiny Dancer at March 11, 2010 7:16 PM

fuck all ya'll. Russel Crowe is not fat. He's nicely man sized and Cate looks like something out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting. hot damn.

Stella = > whore for Robin Hood movies

If anyone wants to read an interesting twist to the tale, check out "The Outlaws of Sherwood". Great little book.

Posted by: Stella at March 11, 2010 7:20 PM

Compared to that skinny hipster kid on the BBC version of Robin Hood, every Robin Hood looks fat.

Posted by: Claire at March 11, 2010 8:48 PM

no shit Claire. Between that emo dude and 'Richard' in Legend of the Seeker, you'd think all these guys were puny.

I could crush both of them with my thighs.

Posted by: Stella at March 11, 2010 9:49 PM

Okay, all the other problems aside, I strongly disagree with making Marian into some kind of bitchy Grrl Power warrior woman who took self-defense classes and threatens to cut off peoples' junk. Strong female lead and defensive bitch ARE NOT SYNONYMS, script writers.

If anything, I think a more modernized Marian would be a non-fighting fast-talking intelligence agent, since she was the one who had to lead a double life among Robin Hood's enemies while still boning him on the side and then convincing everyone back home that she was TOTALLY IN HER ROOM EMBROIDERING SOMETHING ALL NIGHT and the flush and the messed up hair are JUST BECAUSE THE EMBROIDERY GOT REALLY INTENSE, YOU GUYS.

I love Cate Blanchett and I love women who can hold their own in combat, but Maid Marian threatening to cut off Robin Hood's peen and swinging a sword around like Eowyn just doesn't work for me.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at March 11, 2010 9:51 PM

wow Nat. Touche. and... I totally agree, except I don't think they know how to write women like you're describing.
/thinks to other movies

yeah, no, sorry - unless you go back to the 40's. You're hoping for a Maureen O'Hara, and I don't think they make 'em like that anymore.

Posted by: Stella at March 11, 2010 10:07 PM

Plus, threatening to cut off a dude's peen is like totally movie-speak for 'I'll be boning you before the week's out'.

Posted by: Stella at March 11, 2010 10:10 PM

Robert Downey would have made a great Robin Hood.

Posted by: logan at March 12, 2010 12:14 AM

Brave Sir Robin ran away
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled ...

Oh, wait, wrong period piece.

Also, that one was funny.

Posted by: , at March 12, 2010 1:08 AM

"He's not heavy. He's my brother."

Where did you pull that one from? I was reading Five Greatest Warriors by Matthew Reilly last night and he ended a chapter with that exact quote.

Footnote: My taste in books isn't that terrible honestly.

Posted by: Squeeg at March 12, 2010 2:26 AM

This thing looks like a combination of Gladiator and Braveheart. How the fuck could that be anything but amazing? Enough of your cynical Tomfuckery, I say!

Bring it on.

Posted by: EastCoastUgly at March 12, 2010 8:07 AM

Oh, the quote's an old song.

Posted by: Jay at March 12, 2010 8:41 AM

Jay's right. Men In Tights is not funny. Nor is Spaceballs or anything that Brooks produced since History of the World.

And while that barrel shaped australian does nothing for me, I'm a sucker for anything Cate Blanchett's in. The woman can do no wrong.

Posted by: FabMax at March 12, 2010 10:50 AM

Let's get out of this ladies clothing and get into our tights!

Posted by: Gabs at March 12, 2010 10:54 AM

Are you kidding me? Men in Tights not funny? Wha- what are you TALKING about??

The scene where he uses the gauntlet to slap the Sheriff of Nottingham?? that's... that's comedy GOLD!!

Posted by: Stella at March 12, 2010 2:02 PM

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother" was a song by both the Hollies and Neil Diamond, but it is mainly the motto of Boy's Town (think kid carrying his little brother on his back).

Posted by: bentjohn at March 12, 2010 2:21 PM

wait... i didn't see the muslim character... is morgan freeman not in this... is this not a sequel... at least christian slater could cameo

Posted by: wickedwhisper at March 12, 2010 5:41 PM

I think a more modernized Marian would be a non-fighting fast-talking intelligence agent, since she was the one who had to lead a double life among Robin Hood's enemies

Mary Mastrantinionuoininio's Marian in Prince of Thieves was pretty good, I thought, though she did scream for help at one point.

Posted by: Brenton at March 12, 2010 6:39 PM

And I just read this:

Kevin Costner and his "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" and "Waterworld" director Kevin Reynolds are re-teaming for the $50 million spy comedy "Learning Italian" reports Variety.

The story follows a CIA agent whose punishment for a mission mistake is to be stationed in a Sicilian seaside village to keep an eye on an organised crime boss. He soon falls for the place and when ordered back home, he must come up with a fake threat to justify his continued stay there.

The project, which Costner will star in and produce, will shoot later this year mostly at the Bavaria Film Studios near Munich, Germany. Some shooting is also expected to take place around the Aeolian Islands.

Posted by: Brenton at March 12, 2010 6:41 PM

FabMax, I used to agree with you about Kate Blanchett. She used to be the best thing in everything she was in, even if those things were quite often bad, bad films. But then I saw the atrocity that was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Aliens, and she was bloody awful in it. And I'm really not getting good vibes from this trailer, either.

I also agree with Nat Kittyface, Marion should totally not shoot longbows and fight with swords and fight in armor (if I was not mistaken towards the end of the trailer). Really intense embroidery behind closed doors is much more appropriate and cool.

Posted by: Malin at March 13, 2010 6:59 AM

@Malin:

While Indy 4 is indeed a crapfest, I liked Cate Blanchett in it. She seemed to be the only one that had fun playing her role, and didn't take it seriously (which would be a hard thing to do, considering how cheesy it was).

Posted by: FabMax at March 13, 2010 9:02 AM

Back in the mid-80s, BBC did a Robin Hood series that I liked quite well (at least until they let Sean Connery's kid take the lead). The Marion character could fight, but she wasn't all buff and angry. Ray Winstone played a perpetually pissed off Will Scarlet. No idea if the show would hold up upon reviewing, but at least it wasn't boring. Oh, and Prince of Thieves totally ripped off having a Muslim character from the BBC show.

I will probably rent this for shits and giggles. Shouldn't have to wait too long.

Posted by: Reba at March 13, 2010 10:55 PM

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Stop Calling Him the Fat Robin Hood!

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