What Big Eyes You Have, Amanda Seyfried
Here’s the trailer for Red Riding Hood, a retelling of the classic fairy tale about, well, a girl, her hood, and a wolf. It stars the delicious Amanda Seyfried, as well as Billy Burke, Virginia Madsen, and Julie Christie, and is directed by Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Lords Of Dogtown). Don’t hold Twilight against her too much — Martin Scorcese couldn’t have saved that dogshit story. Here’s the synopsis, and it’s yet another ridiculously long one. And no, I’m not going to summarize because it’s late, I’m lazy, and I’m drinking.
In “Red Riding Hood,” Seyfried plays Valerie, a beautiful young woman torn between two men. She is in love with a brooding outsider, Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), but her parents have arranged for her to marry the wealthy Henry (Max Irons). Unwilling to lose each other, Valerie and Peter are planning to run away together when they learn that Valerie’s older sister has been killed by the werewolf that prowls the dark forest surrounding their village. For years, the people have maintained an uneasy truce with the beast, offering the creature a monthly animal sacrifice. But under a blood red moon, the wolf has upped the stakes by taking a human life. Hungry for revenge, the people call on famed werewolf hunter, Father Solomon (Gary Oldman), to help them kill the wolf. But Solomon’s arrival brings unintended consequences as he warns that the wolf, who takes human form by day, could be any one of them. As the death toll rises with each moon, Valerie begins to suspect that the werewolf could be someone she loves. As panic grips the town, Valerie discovers that she has a unique connection to the beast-one that inexorably draws them together, making her both suspect…and bait.
In love with a brooding outsider? OK, maybe we should hold the Twilight thing against her a little. Regardless, it’s a story with some potential, and also with some Gary
Oldman, which, for better or worse, makes it required viewing for me.
Shut up and watch:
It’s got some nifty visuals, particularly the gloomy backdrops juxtaposed with the vibrant red of the cape. Oldman looks fascinating. Seyfried looks lovely as usual. And the movie looks boring as shit. There have been some interesting adaptations of the classic tale — Neil Jordan’s In The Company Of Wolves, Matthew Bright’s Freeway, even the loosely inspired Surprise Party from Trick R Treat.
Somehow, Red Riding Hood does not appear to be an addition to that pantheon.
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