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The bitch is hungry ... lust is in cages / Seth Freilich

Trailers | April 8, 2009 | Comments (15)

Tonight at 10 p.m., you have no business doing anything but pouring a tall glass of your alcoholic beverage of choice, loosening any tight garments, sitting your ass on the couch and tuning the television to em-tee-vee. Yes, that channel that used to play music videos.

“But Seth,” you says, “I’m not a 12-year-old girl,” you says.

Well, that may be true. But, with apologies to any actual 12-year-old female readers, exceptions can be made, for when “Real World/Road Rules Challenges” are on, we are all 12-year-old girls. We giggle at the idiocy, ogle the boys and girls who look almost pretty when caught in just the right fleeting light, wonder at the copious amounts of alcohol imbibed by these meatheads, whores, d-bags and celebretard-wannabes who have given over their lives for our entertainment.

“But Seth,” you says, “you can’t be fucking serious,” you says.

Oh I am, dear reader. I am as serious as a mother fucking your-left-arm-is-hurting heart attack. The Duel 2 is about to step on our faces and rock us like hurricanes and we can do nothing but soak it in, eat it up and hope to survive it. Believe.

Yes yes yes yes, yes yes yes, I can’t believe CT’s gonna get thrown off again for being a ragingly violent prick, yes yes yes! I am weak in the knees and can do nothing but bow down in the presence of greatness and succumb to the wonder and joy about to unfold.

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i HATE adam. i hope ct beats. his. ass.

who cares if his dad wrote 'brick house'.

Posted by: gp at April 8, 2009 9:52 AM

Remember how I used to think TK must look just like CT? You know, on account of them both being from Boston and....well, that was the only reason. Remember that? Damn you, Facebook, and your mobile uploads! You killed the laughter (in my head).

Posted by: Kolby at April 8, 2009 9:55 AM

Too bad I no longer have the channel. The Challenges and Duels were always fantastic insanity-watching.

Frame of reference: the "Real World" now has cast members that weren't alive when the show started.

Posted by: branded at April 8, 2009 10:07 AM

Wait wait wait, I meant to say will have as MTV has picked up the show for 4 more seasons. Math skills, activate!

Posted by: branded at April 8, 2009 10:09 AM

I'll be at a basketball game tonight, but rest assured, I'll be watching this shit the second I get home. It's been on my work calendar for 2 frickin months. EEEEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by: jamiepants at April 8, 2009 10:35 AM

Damn you, Facebook, and your mobile uploads! You killed the laughter (in my head).


Posted by: Julie at April 8, 2009 10:37 AM

YES! I cannot believe I forgot the premiere was tonight, so thank you for this. And with CT and Evan this time, who'll even miss Kenny?

Ah, who am I kidding, of course I'll miss Kenny. Such a jackass, yet strangely lovable.

Posted by: Adrienne at April 8, 2009 11:29 AM

Wait... is this the same Seth Freilich who, just two posts ago, declared American Idol a "stain on the television landscape" or something to that effect?

But this crap, you'll watch, and relish.

Hm. Interesting.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 8, 2009 11:33 AM

Kolby - as soon as I read this I thought to myself, "wait, didn't someone here on Pajiba think that TK look like CT?" I should have known it was you. TK was so not happy when you shared that. he he he

I have to say, that learning people's real names and what they look like has taken a small element of fun out of Pajiba.

Don't worry, I'll get over it.

Posted by: tamatha at April 8, 2009 1:34 PM

We each have our vices.

Posted by: Hurp Durp at April 8, 2009 1:53 PM

Fear not, non-subscribers, for these episodes stream, usually commercial free.

Bitchy 12-year-old-acting, narcissist alcoholics on YOUR time.

Posted by: watiztv at April 8, 2009 4:38 PM

i. love. adam. He was really boring on his season of RW, but CT has had it out for him since they fought the last time. Ohhhh, I can't wait!!! I live for this shit.

ahem. i'm done now.

Posted by: T.Biggs at April 8, 2009 6:34 PM

The problem that I have with Em Tee Vee these days is that whenever I watch it I feel used up and dirty. Kinda like I just bought a $20 hooker and found out she had a penis but kept going anyway. You know. How you feel after that.

Posted by: Roaddog at April 8, 2009 7:15 PM

OH MY GOD. I'm watching it right now, and how AMAZING is that intro with them all chanting? I'm so obsessed already.

Posted by: jamiepants at April 9, 2009 12:09 PM


Based on this review, I watched the first episode. It was BRUTAL. It was EPIC. The opening drunken brawl ending with that bear of a man BREAKING THE HOUSE! I felt like I was in Roman times. With GIRLS WITH BREASTS! And FRAT DICKS! And all the SELF ABSORPTION a boy could want.

Seriously, How, HOW, after all these years, could MTV know what makes my dick hard?

Posted by: Withnail at April 10, 2009 2:47 AM

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