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Q: What If Sharks Got Caught In A Tornado? A: SyFy Would Make A Movie About It Starring Tara Reid.

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | July 3, 2013 | Comments ()


SHARKNADO-8.jpg

It's like all of your cheesy SyFy movie dreams are coming true! They have taken sharks and powerful tornadoes, combining them into one glorious Sharknado! They have chosen acting powerhouses such as Tara Reid! Ian Ziering! John Heard! Some others!

Behold! I gift unto you, the trailer for the cinematic glory that is...Sharknado! (The embed is ridiculous small, so you can also click here.)

Are you tingly? I bet you're tingly. You probably need to seek medical attention, because I think the tingling might be brain cells leaking out of your pores. First, however, I have come up with some exciting SyFy original movie ideas and I would like to share them with you.

Grizzly Turtle

What happens when scientists accidentally create an animal hybrid of grizzly bears and turtles? GRIZZLY TURTLE! Powerful turtle jaws combined with a bear's strength, size, and claws make the Grizzly Turtle a formidable foe. Add in the hard turtle's shell protecting its vital organs and you have trouble in a sleepy town in Iowa! Starring Tiffany Brissette ("Small Wonder") and Michael Cade ("California Dreams").

Killer Guinea Pigs

An animal testing lab has been perfecting a bodybuilding serum and testing it on guinea pigs! Unfortunately, all of those dead guinea pigs they threw in the dumpster weren't really dead. They were just hibernating while their cells rebuilt themselves and turned them into KILLER GUINEA PIGS! Filled with the strength of a professional wrestler and only their memories of a life held in captivity while being tortured, these guinea pigs will turn this small Oklahoma town into pellets! Starring Shannen Doherty and Aaron Carter.

Rabid Rainstorm

The animal shelter in town hasn't been taking very good care of the animals. As the widespread rabies infection is discovered, a harsh thunderstorm tears the facility apart and carries the rabid animals away in its strong winds. Who will survive when it really is raining rabid cats and dogs? Starring Antonio Sabato Jr. and Willa Ford.

If any of you steal my ideas, I will know about it. I'm making threatening faces at all of you right now.
Arrested-Development-Lucille-Bluth-martini.gif







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • QUAILSTROM.

    It's like a MAELSTROM but with QUAILS.

  • SottoVoce

    Pandaclypse / Raccoonagedon. What will Rusty the Red Panda do? Where will he go? Who will he save?

    Starring David Caruso and Tawny Kitaen.

  • Oh. My. God. Please keep going. Seriously. If you launched a 900-number and just pitched these ideas over the phone for 3.99/minute, I'd be so broke.
    Can Killer Guinea Pigs have a big dance number somewhere, so Aaron can show off his mad DWTS cha-cha skilz?

  • TWO BANDS ENTER. ONE GUINEA PIG LEAVES.

  • Only if it also features New Kids on the Block vs. Hanson in a battle of the bands using live ammo.

  • Lefty Mothersbaugh

    The thing I like best about these is how you've already cast them,
    SPIDERQUAKE!

  • BlackRabbit

    So other disasters don't get left out:

    SCORPILANCHE!

    Also THUNDERSTORK! and SEALNAMI!

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    But who will be live-tweeting this while I watch?

    WHO WILL BE LIVE TWEETING THIS WHILE I WATCH!!!???

  • Mrs. Julien

    Little Julien would like to add EARTHQUAIL VERSUS HURRICRANE!!

  • TheAggroCraig

    So....we're all watching this anyway, right?

  • Mrs. Julien

    God, yes.

  • Milly

    TORNADOE!

    A female deer (obligatory "d'oh! a deer! a female deer!) with gas so strong and foul that it kills entire towns in one blast.

    /stolen from Gavin Free.

  • kali yuga

    Republicrats.

    Oh wait, that nightmare is real. Nevermind.

  • Yocean

    Dude, they also got a Ghost Sharks coming. GHOST SHARKS!! It's Sharking all up in herrrrrr!!

  • emmalita

    If they had replaced the sharks with jellyfish and Tara Reid with Paris Hilton there would be an emmalita shaped hole in the wall.

  • Repo

    We're a long way away from Home Alone and Big, eh Mr. Heard?

  • Slash

    Prairiepocalypse - formerly placid prairie dogs become relentless killing machines. Kinda like "Tremors," only with prairie dogs. Death from below.

  • "It eats you starting with your bottom." (for all the would-be Slayers out there)

  • Mrs. Julien

    [redacted for extreme lameness]

  • Guest

    .

  • stella

    Ummmm...I would watch all of those. Hell, Id buy the dvd of the aaron carter one.

  • Slash

    "Sharkfirenado" or GTFO.

    I'm pretty sure "SyFy" is just fucking with us all now.

  • Mrs. Julien

    GATORGALE!

  • Maguita NYC

    CROCADIZZLE's missing cousin?

  • Mrs. Julien

    SQUALLIGATOR!

  • Maguita NYC

    BLIZARD.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You mean like a bluzzard?

  • Maguita NYC

    More like a KOMODOSOON.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    The title song would be "It's raining 'saurs".

  • Maguita NYC

    I dare not say anything with 'saurs anymore. My last attempt got heinously ridiculed by L.O.V.E.

  • Mrs. Julien

    TASMANIAN DUST DEVIL!

  • Bert_McGurt

    WEREORCA vs. COBROSTRITCH!

    BISONRANTULA vs. LIONDSLIDE!

    SKINKHOLE '83!

  • damnitjanet

    MANTACANE!

    SQUIRRELCANO!!!!!

    MARMOTPOCALYPSE!!!!

  • BWeaves

    SQUIRRELCANO made me snort tea out my nose. Congratulations!

  • Mrs. Julien

    I could upvote you, but that would be insufficient to convey my absolute glee about SQUIRRELCANO!!!!!. I can actually picture squirrels flowing like lava.

  • BWeaves

    Squirrels flowing like lava? I just peed myself laughing.

  • ZizoAH

    SNAKEGINA vs. PENIS BADGER

    Narrated by this guy: http://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg

  • Maguita NYC

    Snakegina, there are medicinals for that.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is it a two-pronged approach? Get it? Because a snake has...

  • Maguita NYC

    No, rather it is a cleft contraption. Get it? Because a hooha is actually...

  • Mrs. Julien

    Tag line: Penis Badger Don't Care, But You Will!

  • ZizoAH

    Penis Badger Don't Give a Shit!

  • Mrs. Julien

    BOARNADO!

  • Mrs. Julien

    CAPYBEARA!

  • Mrs. Julien

    ABYSSYPHILIS!

    PANTHERQUAKE!

  • Mrs. Julien

    MEGAOCTOPHOON!

  • SottoVoce

    I thought you were proposing a vehicle for Octomom until I saw the 'h' after the 'p'.

  • Nah. Without the 'h' it just sounds like a porn title.

  • damnitjanet

    GIANTSQUIDNAMI vs TIDEEL WAVE

    BEARVALANCHE vs GRIZZARD

  • Rykker

    SHARKNADO vs PIRANHICANE!!

  • JenVegas

    i would watch the hell out of this.

  • Maguita NYC

    Piranhicanes are actually what caused Orcaclones to become extinct.

  • BWeaves

    I not usually a betting woman, but I bet Piranhicane is the next SyFy movie. It's got the right kind of title.

  • Mrs. Julien

    ...thinking...

    Also, piranhicane is genuis.

  • Captain D

    They need to get it over with and cast Dean Cain, Luke Perry, Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, and Lou Diamond Phillips ALL in the same movie. To throw us for a loop they could eliminate the monster / supernatural device that is there to move the plot and create horror. I bet it would earn their highest ratings yet.

  • BlackRabbit

    That's terrible. I actually LIKE Dean Cain.

  • That's funny, because - having exhausted all other surgical procedures - getting caught in a tornado filled with sharks is actually Tara Reid's next nip/tuck job.

  • bleujayone

    I would love to be a fly on the wall at the production pitch where the SyFy executives scratch their heads and finally say, "Naaaaah, this is too stupid even for us." After which Troma Entertianment, The Asylum and Adam Sandler will probably get in a bidding war to buy the rights to it.

  • BWeaves

    The funny part is, I remember a movie from my youth (1970's) called "Drive-In." The movie consisted of a bunch of teenagers who live in a small town and the only entertainment is the roller rink and the drive-in movie theater. They go to the drive-in and see a movie called "Disaster 76."

    The movie (Drive-in) is mostly about what the kids are doing, but the movie (Disaster 76) that's playing within the movie in the background consists of a plane flying that gets struck by lightning in a bad storm and crashes into a skyscraper and sets it on fire. Meanwhile, a tidal wave washes all the sharks on shore. At the end of the movie the captain of the airplane walks up out of the water onto some sand and says, "Well, somebody's got to rebuild Reno." I have no idea why I remember so much of this movie, but it's crying out for a SyFy remake.

  • NateMan

    Where does one get a bajillion sharks to spin up into a tornado? It's not like there's one spot in the ocean where all the sharks hang out after a busy week of swimming and feeding.

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist
  • frank247

    Schools of sharks are generally at the coast or beyond.

    Tornadoes? Oklahoma, Kansas, South Dakota, Nebraska......

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist

    Except that typhoons, Tornadoes, hurricanes and cyclones are just different names for the same weather phenomena.

    http://oceanservice.noaa.gov/f...

  • frank247

    So the film title would become Sharphoon?

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist

    LOVE IT!!!!

  • Maguita NYC

    We usually catch them at school.

  • Snath

    Fluffysaurus Rex - The sleepy town of Springmeadow Hillvalley was unknowingly the location of a secret government genetics laboratory. Discovering a previously unknown source of dinosaur DNA, they plan on turning dinosaurs into the genetically modified weapons of the future.

    Everything was going according to plan until Old Mrs. Creakyback's cockapoo Fluffy escaped and found his way into the testing lab. Falling into a vat of genetic material, Fluffy is turned into the horrifying monstrosity Fluffysaurus Rex. His taste for blood and destruction is unquenchable.

    Starring Vanilla Ice, Ice Cube, and Ice T as government scientists that have to undo their mistake.

  • BWeaves

    I think "Wallace and Gromit: Attack of the Wererabbit" already covered this plot.

  • Snath

    But that's a classic British stop-motion film.

    No one at SyFy will have any idea what it is.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You don't think the kind of people who work in development at SyFy haven't heard of Wallace and Gromit? Oh Snath, you beautiful, naive pencil case.

  • Snath

    The people that develop movies like these? No way. Wallace and Gromit are beautiful stories and lovingly created masterpieces. About as far from Sharknado as you can get.

  • You joke, but just look for Killer Guinea Pigs on SyFy next year.

  • kirbyjay

    Sounds like a Sopranos rip off

  • Pinky McLadybits

    I WILL SUE THEM SO HARD.

  • I say next year instead of next month only because they've already planned their terrible movies for this year.

  • mairimba

    I'm still waiting for the real life version of PigManBear. So your ideas are going to have to be put on hold, Clager.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Are you being super cereal right now?!

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    Excelsior!

  • Fabius_Maximus

    But what do the sharks do? Just fall on people? Or are they genetically engineered flying sharks?

  • emmalita

    This is why jellyfish would have been scarier.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Nah, they'd just be flopping around.

  • emmalita

    They have those long stingy tentacles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Some of them do. The rest is just a watery annoyance.

  • phase10

    My question, exactly. I think the tornado by itself would be enough to jack you up.

  • Steph

    You got that right. I live in Oklahoma. Tornadoes don't need help from sharks. Or anything else.

  • AudioSuede

    I think, at this point, SyFy's pitch meetings just consist of reading comment threads on Pajiba and deciding which idea sounds the funniest.

    And then they read it in ominous voiceover.

    "Sharks. Tornado. Sharknado. 'NUFF SAID."

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Mostly I just feel bad for the sharks.

  • ZizoAH

    I still don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that the trailer is not available in my country.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You need to mash up those words SyFy style: It's either a blurse or a clessing, you decide.

  • ZizoAH

    Peace between Palestina and Israel - Pajews! (Or Pajibajews)

  • BWeaves

    I can't decide which I like better, Pajews or Pajibajews.

    How about Pajewbas? Nah, that sounds like another word for boobs. Oh wait. (Yes, I'm Jewish. Peace to you too Zizo!)

  • Maguita NYC

    Pajews are jew cashews and cannot be used for Pajibans. We are more of the pistajews kind.

  • BendinIntheWind

    And now I'm trying to find a justifiable situation to use the word "Pajibajews" out loud, because it's phonetically hilarious.

  • ZizoAH

    Well, you can call @BWeaves:disqus and say "Hey, Pajibajew!"

  • BWeaves

    Heehhehehe!

  • BendinIntheWind

    I may or may not have just whispered "Pajibajews" out loud to myself just to test whether it was as fun to say as it is to read. Spoiler alert: IT IS.

  • ZizoAH

    I shall own the copyrights and have my royalties!

  • BendinIntheWind

    Do you have a flag? NO FLAG NO CLAIM!

  • ZizoAH

    Wow, this dove is SO GAY

  • Guest

    Wow, this dove is so gay

    [img]http://www.colourbox.com/previ...[/img]

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