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Psycho Prequel, "Downton Abbey" Sequel, Or Both: First Six Minutes of "Bates Motel"

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | March 12, 2013 | Comments ()


bates_motel_vera-farmiga.jpg

My theory is that after the Great Depression hits, Downton Abbey will inevitably burn to the ground when someone tells the Earl that if you burn piles of money in the drawing room, little money eggs will hatch from the ashes like dragons. Bates and Anna flee across the Atlantic after the fire reveals a dozen strategically buried bodies of various lady's maids who only appeared for an episode at a time. Their flight is premature since the only forensic specialist at hand is Doctor Clarkson, so the deaths are attributed to suicide, and their burial blamed on the Earl's dog.

Anna and Bates open the hotel that they have long dreamed of, a little bed and breakfast where they can raise their brood. Murderous Mistah Bates, fueled with a hatred for women, passes his tainted genes onto a son before his heart gives out. A son named Norman.

Oh, and here are the first six minutes of A&E's "Bates Motel", the prequel starring Vera Farmiga as the once and future rocking chair corpse.

Do you think they're taking the Freudian route? I don't know, might be too early to say.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • F'mal DeHyde

    First thing I would have done in home improvements would be to pave a driveway up to the house.

  • The only way this show would work if it was written and directed by Allan Ball and has NOTHING to do with the name Bates.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    It gets the automatic benefit of the doubt for including a clip from HIS GIRL FRIDAY.

  • TSF

    Did Norman Bates just say "awesome"?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I think it's set in the present. So yeah, but it's no biggie?

  • TSF

    Ah, you are correct. IMDB refers to it as a "contemporary prequel".

  • KV

    I thought panties in the 1950s (or 60s) used to be bigger than what most women wear these days. But for a "contemporary prequel", the pair that Vera Farmiga was wearing makes sense, I guess. Not that I complain....

  • Mrs. Julien

    I feel like we need more expressions along the lines of "contemporary prequel". Think how handy they would be:

    revisionist succession
    contemporaneous blandishments
    intraplanetary sequellation
    proximitous non-sequentialism
    reactionary establishmentarian

  • IngridToday

    I swore I saw a preview where he was wearing earbuds. I was completely confused since prequel suggest it would predate the Pyscho series and therefore make sense.

  • BWeaves

    "Make sense?" Did you actually think ANYTHING coming out of Hollywood was going to make sense?

  • Buck Forty

    Maybe it's a prequel to the 1998 version? In which case Freddie Highmore grows up to become Vince Vaughn. Yikes.

  • Anna von Beav

    Listen, sometimes you just want to have inappropriate physical contact with your teenage son, or check out your hot mom in her undies. I don't see why everybody's always got to make a big, Freudian deal out of it.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    If Vera Farmiga were my mother... Look, any way I say it it's going to sound creepy.

    But yes. Totally.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I want to thank all of you for upvoting my obviously correct decision to trash the incest taboo in this one hypothetical instance. It is a heartening show of cultural progressivity for the greater sexytimes good.

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