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SyFy's "Alice" / Seth Freilich

Trailers | November 9, 2009 | Comments (28)


As many of you know, Tim Burton is working on his version of Alice in Wonderland, which is currently slated to drop in March. As Dustin said about it after the teaser trailer came out over the summer: “It looks pretty much exactly as you’d imagine an Alice in Wonderland adaptation from Tim Burton might, and Johnny Depp kicks some rabbit hole ass.” Well SyFy has its own adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s masterpiece coming out next month, and to paraphrase Dustin: “It looks pretty much exactly as you’d imagine a cheesy Alice in Wonderland adaptation from the channel formerly known as SciFi might.”

“Alice” is written and directed by Nick Willing, who directed (but did not write) SyFy’s last remake (or “reimagining,” as they call it) “Tin Man.” “Tin Man” was an utter disappointment, despite a good cast and some potential — in fact, I cannot honestly recall if I watched it all the way through or not. So I’m not getting my hopes up about “Alice,” despite the fact that it’s also got a pretty good cast, including Tim Curry, Harry Dean Stanton, Colm Meany and Kathy Bates. Particularly given the level of cheese it looks to be throwing out there:

The two-night miniseries premiers on December 6, and I know myself well enough to know that I’ll likely tune in anyway. I’m just not going to have any expectations of quality. Prove me wrong, SyFy, prove me wrong.

(Also, am I the only one who questions how you have Tim Curry and Harry Dean Stanton in your flick and don’t show them in your promo video?).


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Comments

Tin Man reeked -- as you said, despite the promising cast. Zoey Deschanel might be everyone's darling but in this show she put in all the dramatic range she showed to such good effect in Happenings.

The story also had incredible promise but a piss-poor payoff -- I mean, honestly, Dorothy is actually the younger daughter of the Queen of Oz exiled to Kansas for her own safety when her older sister is possessed by an evil witch?

How is that even remotely related to canon?

Posted by: Neodiogenes at November 9, 2009 10:34 AM

Didn't SciFi (they were still called that then) also do that bizarre "re-imagining" of Wizard of Oz with the Deschanel girl and the monkey boobs?

It should say something that Deschanel and the monkey boobs are the only thing I remember from that.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 9, 2009 10:35 AM

....and I'm just realizing that was probably this Tin Man you're talking about.

Look, I was up until 1 am writing a stinkin' paper. I'm an old lady and 6 hours is NOT ENOUGH SLEEP FOR ME! Leave me alone!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 9, 2009 10:36 AM

I was waiting for Tim Curry the whole time! Not cool, Syfy.
Although I seem to remember enjoying Tin Man's cast, I don't think I finished the series either.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 9, 2009 10:37 AM

Monkey boobs? What? I don't remember that at all! And I think I would, right? I do remember the Tin Man being a complete bad ass. And Jay wants him to be Captain America. I approve.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 9, 2009 10:40 AM

I'll give it a try regardless of history.

Posted by: Cindy at November 9, 2009 10:42 AM

The flying monkeys flew out of the Wicked Witch's boobs. Seriously.

Monkey boobs.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 9, 2009 10:45 AM

I thought you were implying the monkeys had heaving, voluptuous breasts.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 9, 2009 10:46 AM

My imdb fu is strong today and tells me that Harry Dean Stanton is playing the Caterpillar, and Tim Curry is playing the Dodo. I guess that they'll have Curry do a version of the Caucus Race?

Posted by: branded at November 9, 2009 10:47 AM

I do not recall the monkey's breasts at all, Optimus. Perhaps they were more conservatively dressed?

It's also possible I was too distracted by the cleavage they came flying out of to notice.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 9, 2009 10:50 AM

I don't know how much the little vests from the original could cover. Maybe if they had some double sided tape...

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 9, 2009 10:57 AM

I think when making an Alice in Wonderland adaptation is like some rite of passage, or a hazing. Maybe it's a secret game they play with some kind of steep wager to it. Or simply a way to pass the time and take an awesome tax write off at the end of a year. Why else would they're be so fucking many?

I think this is just what H-wood does when it gets bored. It's like they're version of the Aristocrats.

Posted by: cj at November 9, 2009 10:58 AM

Nice cast. (Why didn't they cast Matt Frewer as the Hatter?)

But the lead is fucking weak.

Posted by: FabMax at November 9, 2009 10:58 AM

This looks pretty interesting actually. The cast is perfect, and as far as I'm concerned, SyFy's had a pretty good track record so far. I'm in!

Posted by: Conrad (last name withheld) at November 9, 2009 11:30 AM

The flying monkeys flew out of the Wicked Witch's boobs. Seriously.

Clarification here: the above described phenomenon is known as boob monkeys. It's not related at all to Monkey boobs, which are the opposite of banana boobs, most common amongst the elderly.

Posted by: Sunsneezer at November 9, 2009 11:35 AM

Why is Tim Curry's career in the toilet? Everyone loves him. How do we fix this?

Posted by: Lucas at November 9, 2009 11:42 AM

When hasn't Tim Curry's career been in the toilet? I think he has a condo there.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 9, 2009 11:50 AM

I enjoyed every scene in Tin Man where the Flying monkeys were summoned.

That is all.

Posted by: Orser at November 9, 2009 11:51 AM

Ah, see, hence the confusion. Thanks, Sunsneezer!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 9, 2009 12:00 PM

I didn't mind Tin Man because The Wonderful Wizard of OZ is a wheel that could stand a little re-inventing, and that goes at least double for Alice in Wonderland.

For every 20 "Silverfish Terror" movies SyFy squeezes into the grunty bowl, the one or two blandly engaging miniseries by contrast seem to have some enthusiasm pushed into them. They at least play into that uncanny hook in my curve wherein exceedingly lengthy bad movies somehow take a turn for the better at the miniseries length. Ditto for Stephen King TV movies.

Posted by: laredo at November 9, 2009 12:06 PM

Fuckin' Conrad.

Posted by: TK at November 9, 2009 1:14 PM

Follow the rabbit. Solve the riddle.

Follow the Rabbit, Save the world?

Save the cheerleader, follow the rabbit

Follow the Cheerleader. Save the rabbit.

Catch the cheerleader. Shave the rabbit.

Bang the cheerleader. The rabbit watches.

Bang the rabbit. Shave the cheerleader.

Toss up between F & G....

Posted by: PissBoy at November 9, 2009 1:32 PM

I can't stop saying "boobmonkeys" now.

Heh. Boobmonkeys.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 9, 2009 1:41 PM

Matt Frewer as the Mad Hatter would have been brilliant.

I just don't know about this, though. The combined stories of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass are an all-time favorite of mine, but I don't think the world really needs another "reimagining" of the stories. To be honest, since I'm a sucker for all things Tim Burton and I love me a good cheesy SyFy movie, I'll probably see both but I'm not expecting to be wowed or impressed. At best I'm expecting a mildly amusing way to spend two hours. I'd like to be wrong, but I don't think I will be.

The filmmakers could at least include the checkerboard from Through the Looking Glass.

Posted by: stardust (now with 100% less savant) at November 9, 2009 2:37 PM

Technically they appeared from the tattoos on her boobs, and I liked the rest of Tin Man, even the boob-free parts.

Posted by: Adam C at November 9, 2009 2:45 PM

I can say with certainty that I wont be watching this. I can't even watch shows that I used to like on that channel. As soon as the 'syfy' in the corner catches my eye I have to change the station out of disgust.

Posted by: EricD at November 9, 2009 4:06 PM

I have to disagree about Tin Man. I really enjoyed it. It wasn't spectacular or making any of my "top movies" list (with the possible exception of "top 10 SciFi/SyFy miniseries"), but I thought it was really good. I even thought the long-lost sister connection and the "quick, hop into this passing tornado" travel method was cool.

"Don't let go!" Wow - the angst! Did you guys really think it was so bad?

Posted by: Harry at November 9, 2009 8:41 PM

I'm really looking forward to this, for the simple fact that I'm a sucker for anything even vaguely related to Alice In Wonderland or the Mad Hatter (except for the Looking Glass Wars books. Which suck. But that's besides the point.) Also, I kind of like that the Hatter isn't completely freaky, like Johnny Depp's version. Because as much as I like Depp, at this point I have serious doubts about that wig. And the teeth. And the fact that he looks disturbingly like Madonna.

Also, Tin Man is good, if you eat it with crackers.

Posted by: dtkastn at November 20, 2009 11:31 AM





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