Pajiba

The reason that it will completely suck despite a decent cast?

Terrible writing.

Did P. Swayze actually say excruciatingly erotic??

With apologies for the non-thread related post, Iowa's Supreme Court just declared that state's ban on gay marriage to be unconstitutional. Good news for a rainy Friday.

Yay!

I meant for gay marriage, not the movie.

But yay for StripperBiel as well.

Julie...you're excruciatingly erotic...in my pants...

Who knew Iowa was so progressive? Good on them.

How do you like us flyover states now? Time to celebrate the same way we do for things like birthdays, 4th of July, and waking up in morning: Breakin' out the booze!

Why thank you Shadows! I feel much better.

Who's keeping that industry going? 21 year olds about to feel unimpressed and empty?

Charlie Sheen likes to make it rain.

Did The Swayze borrow Kudrow's spare wig? Inspired!

Hey now! We're not all redneck hicks! Fuck, I've never even dated my cousin.

Iowa has gay people? God, they really are everywhere.

I kid, of course. That is indeed fantastic news. Now! Nebraska! Missouri! Kansas! Wake the fuck up and get with the program!

Well, at least she isn't playing a happy stripper. That, in the end, is the real fantasy for the 21 year old knuckle-head set. They want their smiling, prancing strippers, their cheap beer in plastic Pizza Hut-style pitchers, and their dreams of private conquest and dominion.

Treena is right: Pookie should behave, especially given what's been going here lately. And Swayze is god-awful, even in Roadhouse, which is mind-candy.

Yeah, I gotta admit it Pookie - it takes a cold, worthless, soulless motherfucker to crack a cancer joke after last week's events.

You're actually a far bigger asshole than I thought. That's really saying something.

Why would I want to watch a movie about some trannie looking stripper?

True Story:

I was propositioned by the stripper at my bachelor party (freebie, yeah right). So my buddy and I decided to have a little fun and run with it. I asked if he could come too, she actually had to think for a minute before answering. We had the time and place all set up, but I refused to negotiate price.

So then my dad came rushing over and started freaking out about how I was about to cheat on my wife to be. I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life.

The moral of the story is that strippers need love too. Also, my dad's a bit of an idiot.

Jessica Biel doesn't look like a tranny. That'd be if Hannah Montana or those other two Disney girls, with the huge teeth? That'd be like watching a tranny stripper.

Oh yeah, and can we talk about the fantastic wig Mr. Swayze is sporting? That shit is AWE----wait for it---SOME!

Hm. Has anyone on this site ever mentioned that one can tell the quality of a movie by sound of the trailer voiceover guy's voice? Yeah, think so.

And Patrick Swayze is looking fucking haggard.

Uh, yeah, krza, did you not hear the part about the pancreatic cancer? Dude is bad-ass, I say, working all through his treatments. He must be fucking exhausted.

I cannot believe that P.Swayze is actually still standing upright, much less working in television AND movies. It speaks of remarkable heroism on his part to continue on the way that he does, given what he's dealing with. Should I find myself in his shoes, I should hope to deal with it as courageously.

That said, its gotten sad to see him recently. He's aged about 15 years in the last 4 or 5 and it's obvious that he's struggling.

Having lost a close family member to "nut cancer" and knowing full well that pancreatic is usually a prolonged death sentance, I'm going to take a moment to say this:

Fuck you Pookie. There's a difference between attention getting and being an inflamed and angry asshole. You sir, have shown yourself to be the latter.

Jessica Biel Plays a Dirty Stripper
And It’s Still Not Worth Watching

I will be the judge of that.

A note to Jessica Biel: Stop trying so damn hard.

You saw what happened to Lindsay after her stripper turn. You want that?
No, I didn't think so. Now sit down and put your clothes on, woman.

Yay Iowa! Treena, really? Source, please. We've gotta stop that shit if it's really what you say it is.

This movie looks one nipple away from terrible. And yet, I just know I'll find the relevant scenes to my decision on youtube with hi-def screen caps to aid in my...deliberation.

Pookie, we've been over this, haven't we? Your probationary status as a member of the human race has expired. Please hand in your membership card and sever your internet connection - it's for your own good.

Beets, you and your fake outrage. Roaddog, you and your love of mankind. Pajiba is not a giant get well soon card, nor is it a giant bowl of chicken soup you fuckers. Pajiba is a place for insult and derision sprinkled with a movie review. The sooner some of you grasp this concept the better off all of us will be.

P.S. Nobody puts Pookie in a corner.

admin you are EVIL. Hee.

I did not start out like this, I was turned into this vile and grotesque figure by the very people that gave me my place at the Pajiba table. I wanted to be loved like Snath, I wanted the knowledge of Jay, and I wanted the strength of Nicole. But somewhere along the way I turned into the Puck of Pajiba. And now I roam these comment sections like the wild dogs on the plains of the Serengeti looking for fresh prey.

Uh, yeah, krza, did you not hear the part about the pancreatic cancer?

Missed that bit of news.

Amen, lordhelmet. BTW, I can't find the article I read earlier on the conservatives tossing around challenging gay marriage, but to give you a window into how the current government thinks, check this out.

Pookie, I'm wasting my breath, I know. But saying that his acting sucks is a whole other thing from being a dick about cancer. Too fucking personal. I noticed you didn't have the balls to name me specifically in your little rant, or is it too uncomfortable pulling your bullshit on an actual cancer survivor? Bring it on, bitch.

Treena, more power to you as a cancer survivor. As for the link, interesting and I kinda agree with it, without more legislated clarity the courts may come to some unfortunate rulings on Bountiful as a result of the gay marriage ruling. Just goes to show what spineless and ineffective legislators can do. I've got your back in any fight on our resident troll, too.

the Puck of Pajiba. And now I roam these comment sections like the wild dogs on the plains of the Serengeti looking for fresh prey.

This just in, resident troll: cancer topics do not equal prey of any kind - cancer sufferers, survivors, and fighters will hand you your ass on a platter if you go there. Man up or shut up. Nobody's forcing you to be grotesque - grow the fuck up, you twisted sick freak, or kindly leave the table.

Me and my biopsy sites salute you, Treena. To get back on topic, Biel naked=hot, cancer survivors=inspiring.

Eh, it doesn't look *that* bad, but I could be biased because I want to put my tongue out in Jessica Biel's ass.

Jessica Biel is very pretty.

A friend and I saw her across a very crowded bar once. My friend sent a drink over to her. She raised her glass, smiled, and sent him one back in return. We didn't have a chance to talk to her, but that was a fairly cool move on her part.

Also, that thing where she auctioned a date to raise money for the girl from her high school whose legs were severed was very nice.

Simply put - on top of being hot - Jessica is a class act.

Now if she'd just dump that Justin character and go out with an impoverished schlub like me...

Treena, I assure you if I felt like saying something up to you I would. The only reason I haven’t is because I’m still trying to figure out exactly how I offended you personally. The hypocrisy of this place is truly amazing at times. I asked if Swayze is still alive and all the usual suspects come out the wood work to denounce me as being insensitive towards cancer survivors. But these same people have no problem labeling Katherine Heigl as “Skank Cancer,” but where is the outrage for those people that use the word “Skank Cancer?” How is that not being insensitive towards cancer survivors? So now I’m putting forth an amendment that the word “Skank Cancer” is to abolished from the Pajiba lexicon, because you know, it is insensitive towards cancer survivors. And nobody here wants to be labeled as being insensitive, right?

Hi Jay, before I forget I want to thank you for the email, I really needed to hear those words.

rebeck, it was the "nut cancer" thing and the flippant reference to something so life-wreckingly serious. It's a pattern with him, really, he thinks he can be a kind of shock comedian a la Tom Green or somesuch but really he's just making an ass out of himself, and gratuitously causing needless hurt doing so, then enjoying the backlash. Kinda like a Holocaust denier wondering why he gets shouted down when cracking jokes in a Jewish temple.

And "Skank Cancer" was killed off ages ago, partly for those reasons, and partly because "Rainbow Killer" was more accurate. There's a fine line between insensitive and being an inveterate, inhuman, deliberately detestable asshat provocateur. Your pattern of behaviour suggests you delight in any such label, as long as people notice you. Sad.

Well said lordhelmet. I concurr wholeheartedly. After lurking in the comments for months now and only recently surfacing for air, I can honestly say I feel the same way. He's the Pajiba version of Michael Richards. Yelling horrible, and painful things at the top of his lungs and then trying to "aw shucks" his way out of it when the hate comes down.

My guess is mommy didn't hug him enough.

*grabs popcorn, plops on couch ...*

Oh, and I was just wondering: Is "dirty stripper" redundant? When/how/why would you ever use the words "clean stripper"?

*back to your regularly scheduled mayhem*

I’m sorry that I offended you Treena, it was not my intent. And yes, at times I can be cruel and insensitive. From this moment going forward I will take a more critical look at the things I write before I post them. Sometimes when I’m attacked for saying something, I have to go back and take a look at the motto of this website, “Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People” and know that this might not be a place that fosters sensitivity. Then I’m reminded that the people that attack me need to remember that motto, oh well. I’m glad that you decided to delurk, we are all the more better for your presence. Now, as far as you calling the lovely Miss Hathaway a “Horseface,” I thought it was a very unfortunate comment, but I’m sure it was not in any way indicative of the real Treena, the Treena that rails against cruelty and insensitivity, perhaps it was a momentary lapse, yes, lets go with that.

P.S. I’m glad you decided to stay Treena, Pajiba is like a big playground, you’ll enjoy it, I know I do.

(wakes up ...) Huh, what ... Jessica Biel as a stripper? (looks at still posted on Yahoo) Oh ... uh-huh. (remembers "London" and "Stealth") Whatever. Wake me up when "Star Trek" opens. (rolls over, goes back to sleep) Zzzzzz ...

Jervis Tetch....meh, not my first choice. But hey, it's your dime.

Beets I’m convinced that all the unresolved issues you have with your life you’re trying to make me pay for them, am I right?

Glad I stuck around *munches popcorn* thith ith a gud won.

Pookie = float like a butterfly

Treena/Beets = sting like a bee

My money's on Pookie, bet he's fought his way out of a threesome before.

While this trailer does indeed suck, I think its unfair to predict the quality of the movie on it. I mean, the first trailer rocked, http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/powder-blue/trailer, but that might be because of the music by Dripping Whispers.

The real question is, will there be Tatas?