Port City Trailer

Little Stephanie Tanner Trades the Meth for Some Down-Home Earnestness

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (27)

“Frank, funny, and full of charm, Port City will make you laugh, it will make you think, and when it’s over, it will leave you wanting more.”
- StayFamous.Net

Exactly!

I (Heart) You Jodie Sweetin, you lovable fucking meth addict! Gimme some of that! Let’s go to town on some of that crystal. Take our clothes off. Vacuum the floor! Woo-heee! Let’s troll for belly-button lint. And then eat it! Come on, gal! Let’s make some memories together.

Texas4Evah!

… oh little Stephanie Tanner. If we’d only known it would come to this.

(H/T Courtney)

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Comments

...and huge cans.

...and veneers.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 2, 2009 8:44 AM

I'd hit that.

You KNOW she would do AAAANything...

/filthy

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 2, 2009 8:46 AM

What, like anything she did on Full House projected a career path beyond this?

And was that The Flash leering at the Tan-Cans? Tap that shit, Barry Allen!!!

Posted by: Kballs at December 2, 2009 9:00 AM

Well, Pissboy took the words right out of my mouth. HUGE BOOBS.

This isn't a College Humor trailer?? This is a..real show? Veneers McBooberson needs to find a new ~~meth dealer~~ agent.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 2, 2009 9:11 AM

Mmmmmmmmm, I'd like some of that to Sweetin my morning coffee.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: admin at December 2, 2009 9:12 AM

This is a..real show? Veneers McBooberson needs to find a new meth dealer agent.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 2, 2009 9:11 AM

How rude!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 2, 2009 9:14 AM

Suspense! Family Drama! Romance! Ponies!

And was that The Flash leering at the Tan-Cans? Tap that shit, Barry Allen!!!

I'm glad I wasn't the only one to recognize him. Who would've thought his career could actually regress since "The Flash"? That sentence makes me woozy.

Posted by: branded at December 2, 2009 9:27 AM

now that I think about it, that goat didn't look half bad either, healthy, well fed...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 2, 2009 9:46 AM

"Why is there a goat tied to a tree in my front yard?"

Isn't that something we've ALL asked ourselves at some point in life?

Posted by: Gabs at December 2, 2009 9:49 AM

"Why is there a goat tied to a tree in my front yard?"

Because daddy's been a ba-a-a-a-a-a-ad boy.

Actually, I'd rather watch that.

Posted by: admin at December 2, 2009 10:05 AM

Oh Hannah, you slut, you've been down on everything except the Titanic.

Guess she meant "Would you like some CAWWW-fee?"

/Izzard

Posted by: PissBoy at December 2, 2009 10:15 AM

"Why is there a goat tied to a tree in my front yard?"

1. Because if it was tied up to a tree in the back yard, we'd just look like trailer trash.

2. Because it's cutting the lawn.

3. Because if the homeowner's association sees it, they'll haul it away for me.

4. Because I'm an exabitionist AND a zoophile (and I can't believe I used that word in two Pajiba threads in two days).

Posted by: BWeaves at December 2, 2009 10:20 AM

Hmmm...

1) That Hannah lady is the mom from Honey I Shrunk The Kids, the TV Show (that is the actual title). A less enlightened me would comment on how I would like to copulate with her by comparing said desire to the melee capability of a displeased deity.

2) That Indian dude looks like a sad attempt at ripping off Abed from Community.

3) I have already expressed my feelings re: Ms. Sweetin at Deus Ex Malcontent. For a summary, see #1.

4) The goat disturbs me.

Posted by: Smoking Crater (formerly Vermillion) at December 2, 2009 10:24 AM

What's wrong with the goat, people? Just what we need runnin' around here, a bunch of goatists! And Sweetin's like 28 going on 53. But I guess giving hand jobs for growlers (isn't that her life story?) will do that to a young lady. She looks like Rebecca De Mornay's long lost tweeked out sister in that pic. For shame!

Oh, and this looks awful.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at December 2, 2009 10:37 AM

Is it wrong that visions of four-ways with De Mornay, just released from prison tweeked-out Stephanie Tanner and that goat are going trough my head?

How do you deal with your perversions, Rowles?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 2, 2009 11:02 AM

As long as I've got a face that Sweetin woman will always have a place to sit. Aint nothing like a hot broad struggling to get her shit together.

Posted by: Guess Who! at December 2, 2009 11:08 AM

Barbadoslim's comment made me fart I was laughing so hard.

At work.

Posted by: superasente at December 2, 2009 11:14 AM

I hope it was a dry fart.

Posted by: Guess Who! at December 2, 2009 11:22 AM

Aw, Haillz Naw... total tuba fart.

Posted by: Rykker at December 2, 2009 12:30 PM

Bad news: No Olsen twins.

Good news: No Uncle Joey.

Posted by: , at December 2, 2009 1:13 PM

Yay! My shameful following of Methanie Tanner on Twitter has paid off! I am no longer a lurker, i have now officially contributed something to Pajiba.

Posted by: courtcourt at December 2, 2009 6:26 PM

Cut. It. Out.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at December 2, 2009 9:29 PM

All she had to do for growlers was HAND jobs? Damn, I must be in the wrong town.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 2, 2009 11:48 PM

Why are they using a cut-rate version of the Goonies theme at the end?

Posted by: TryScience at December 3, 2009 1:09 AM

Cut. It. Out.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at December 2, 2009 9:29 PM

You got it dude!

oh, wait. wrong tanner sister(s).

...shit

/relurk

Posted by: JohnnyThei at December 3, 2009 1:56 AM

Is there going to be a real time review of this when it comes out?

Posted by: Jen at December 3, 2009 2:44 AM

I found a HOTTEST interracial club =MixedConnect--*__*--C 0 M=for black Women and white Men, or black Men and white Women, to interact with each other. Interracial is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish!

Posted by: flaky at December 3, 2009 2:35 PM

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Little Stephanie Tanner Trades the Meth for Some Down-Home Earnestness

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