Pajiba

"they churn out consistently brilliant films, and I’m completely fucking bored with it.."

There's always Transformers...

What is this awful blowjob you speak of?

No. This cannot be a real thing. I don't mean the trailer, because I could not give less of a blue fuck about the movie. I mean the manorexic pic Dwayne Johnson. Where is the sexy? If this is real I have to take him off of my 'to do' list.

Oh, it looks adorable. Damn Pixar squashing our hard earned cynicism.

'To Do List'
Bwa ha ha ha!

Hey, remember when that bible-stricken boob stole the election about nine years or so ago? And he said he was going to be a compassionate conservative but really he was pandering to the ignorant fucking mouthbreathers who make up a large percent of our country's population?

You know, the racist fucking bigot hatemongers who really want to be a part of the selfish rich white 'elite', so they watch Fox News and listen to Limbaugh and O'Reilly thinking that will allow them to be part of the club?

And then a couple of buildings fell down, and before you could say "It's because they hate our freedumbs", American flags and lapel pins sprouted faster than swastikas in a Weimar Republic?

And now all we have to show for it is bread lines and body bags?

I remember. I don't care how many charismatic orators we put in the white house now, I ain't gonna let it go. I remember how the media hopped on the hillbilly wagon. I remember the glorification of the worst aspects of the American Experience, the pandering to the right-wing retards who think that a bomber is a wiser investment than a school, because if you don't go and bomb some backwards little country into oblivion, then the gays win.

And I also remember Talladega Nights. And Larry the cable guy who may also be a health inspector. And I also remember "Cars". The movie that killed Paul Newman.

I know what you're going to say: "But we've changed since then. We've come a long way, Baby."

Uhhh... I don't know how to break it to you, but this is not a fucking Virginia Slims ad. This is America. Fourth of July or not, we're still not far from the past eight years. All it takes is a crumbling tower or two and we'll be right back to making "Cars II: Hybrids Are For Homos" starring Matthew Mcconadouche.

So don't give me this crap about Pixar having the perfect rack record. You people have 9/11. I have "Cars".

And I will never forget...

Dear eight and a half pound baby Jesus!! I don't even know what all TheUpsetter was talking about but can I get an 'Amen' from the congregation?

I could not give less of a blue fuck

Posted by: greer at July 6, 2009 6:18 PM

Begging pardon, but blue fucks are wingéd creatures.
You meant to say "...less of a flying blue fuck."

My public service for today...

In the year or so that I've been reading, Rowles, you've said things I disagreed with. You've said things that have made me question your sanity, your taste and your sexuality (so many questions about the sexuality) but before today, I've never seen you say anything dumb. This was just dumb.

Amen, Brother UpSetter! Hallelujah!

I'm hoping that's just a bad picture of The Rock. It looks like an unfortunate angle and like he's either in the middle of talking or smelling a pretty ripe fart.

And I'm on board Re: Cars being Pixar's failure. Yes, it looked pretty but do you remember anything about the story? Did it touch you? Were you rooting for any of the characters? That's right, you weren't. Failure.

Cars is why Owen Wilson tried to kill himself.

I put my lowered expectations on the rest of the crappola out there so that Pixar is then the blessed relief. Cars included, which was not their best for sure, but still lights years ahead of Ice Age 54: the Squirrel's Scrotum.

What they ought to do is something that really polarizes audiences. Don't give me universally like-able. Give me a German bukkake aficionado (with a hard R rating) that STILL manages to be a nuanced and lovable character.

You realize that even though they come out with a movie every year, each film is in production, actual animation, for like four years. Not even counting pre-pro--the concept art, storyboards, pitches, meetings, script rewrites. They take the time to make sure every movie is awesome, and they've started with a collection of stories from the beginning so every movie they've come out with has had more thought put into it than the one before, mathematically speaking. They might stumble when they finish all those, but I doubt it.

Why the HELL would you even want that? So you can bitch that "Pixar fucked the dog on this one, folks"? Seriously? You want to write some glowing "comeback" story?

*sigh*

Horrible, horrible idea.

If Pixar tanks one, the suites will step in for the next film. They have creative freedom specifically because they've always made great films.

Horrible, horrible idea.

Posted by: HappyGobo at July 6, 2009 6:11 PM

ummmmmm.....

That's pretty much all I can say. I watched that and literally had a wtf moment.

Dustin, you bitch about all the morons across America constantly feeding the shitty Hollywood machine, yet Pixar puts out great movies that they will actually watch.
I know, you just want them to make a terrible movie so the people you despise for seeing Transformers 2 get a CGI shit sandwich. But then all of US suffer!
Then again, any straight man who wants to rear-end that Levitt kid has other mental fish to fry.

"they churn out consistently brilliant films, and I’m completely fucking bored with it.."

There's always Transformers...
"

Seriously! Isn't the whole POINT of this site to bemoan how assinine most Hollywood product is, and yet here you are, complaining about the one studio that seems to be consistently doing something RIGHT? What's up with that?

I love you, Upsetter.