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Eat You, Eat Me

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (16)

PIRANHA 3D slice.jpg

Avadah’s the wave of the future, the game changer, going to revolutionize the way the we consider the properties of cinematic viewing and filmmaking from here unto eternity, eh?

Feast on this.

I’m so excited for this movie, I might have just pooped a little.










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Comments

This is on ScyFy right? It's not Megashark vs. Giant Octupus quality so they can't put it out on PPV for $4.99!!

Posted by: Dingle Berry at January 19, 2010 11:22 AM

Why would you go diving! Why wouldn't you just leave town? It showed them in cars! They have cars! And land! Dry Land! It's the natural enemy of the piranha!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 19, 2010 11:22 AM

Jesus wept.
So did I.

Posted by: Spender at January 19, 2010 11:26 AM

I saw this when I went to see Avatar, but it was while my shitty eyes were trying to adjust to the 3D. Although this clip is about as much in focus to me as it was then. It may be my computer. Or an attempt to make me feel like I'm underwater and about to be feasted on I suppose.

Posted by: Carrie (aka Teabelly) at January 19, 2010 11:29 AM

I myself would like to pioneer some sort of evil piranha that kills frat boys on spring break. It sounds like a really good idea.

And just because Avatar game changed movies doesn't mean it's a bad thing just because a few bad movies are in 3D. Obviously if anything is revolutionized or changed by someone and it makes its way into the public there are going to be people who use it well and people who use it extremely poorly. It's just that with 3D, we already have a lot of shitty movies and not enough good ones. I think it'll take a while for filmmakers to use it well. It's like when film first started; people explode all their insane ideas onto the screen before they can take a minute to tone it down and not show us everything.

Posted by: Marcela at January 19, 2010 11:32 AM

Oh Optimus, you're overthinking this way too much. That's my job. This is Darwinism at work. Let the little fishies eat the stupid people.

Aren't piranhas little fish, just with teeth?

Posted by: BWeaves at January 19, 2010 11:34 AM

"So tell me, future boy...
who's president of the United States in 2010?"

"...Barack Obama."

"Brack Obama??? The colored???
Then who's the vice president? Smokey Robinson?
I suppose Diana Ross is the first lady! And Mr. T is Secretary of the Treasury! "

"Doc, you gotta listen to me. This isn't the future, it's today and you're just drunk..."

"I've had enough practical jokes for one evening. Good night, Future Boy!"

"No, wait! Doc. Doc. The-the-the bruise - the bruise on your head. I know how that happened! You told me the whole story. You were standing on your toilet, drinking your 5th whiskey of the morning, having just opened your iDennis the Menace reisidual check, and you were hanging a clock, and you fell, and you hit your head on the sink. And that's when you came up with the shitty idea to take a part in Pirahna-3D..."
"Which...is what keeps a once great career now going straight...to DVD."


Posted by: PissBoy at January 19, 2010 11:38 AM

Yeah, it seems to me this is a step backwards. You see, in Piranha II: The Spawning, directed by none other than James Cameron himself, the piranhas could FLY. (And breathe air, I guess.) Take THAT, terrestrial dwellers!!

But these poor l'il piranhas and their sharp little teeth appear to be stuck in the water. So, as Optimus wisely points out, dry land is the piranha's natural enemy.

While I wouldn't want to be a cow in the Amazon river in a school of piranha, if my spring break took a turn with flesh-eating fish, I'd get in my car and hit the highway.

Posted by: MM at January 19, 2010 11:43 AM

No lies. The best thing on this page is the re-purposed Back to the Future dialogue.

Posted by: katyv at January 19, 2010 11:52 AM

Even if Avatar "revolutionized" movies, we all knew the minute they put 3D into theaters that there would be loads of crappy kids' movies with things popping out (Bubbles!), crappy action movies with things popping out (Cars flying at the audience!), and crappy horror movies with things popping out (Fishie jaws, omg!). And now I am thinking we should apply this technology to "What to Expect When You're Expecting", because if anything needs more detail of things popping out...

Posted by: Phaeolus at January 19, 2010 11:54 AM

Phaeolus, it's sad, but the first thing that came to mind when you said that was imagining a 3-D version of "Boogie Nights." Namely, the last scene.


...I obviously need to get laid.

Posted by: linny at January 19, 2010 12:05 PM

...that's the way it should be.

What, no one else a big Lionel Richie fan?

Posted by: Brenton at January 19, 2010 1:15 PM

Interesting to know that I almost wound up reviewing this film off of an advanced screening...

You guys are giving it way too much credit.

At least they finished the animation on the piranhas versus stealing screensavers from Windows 98 for the first trailer. The trailer was too blurry to see if they erased all the cellulite and stretch marks from the C-Rate bikini babes.

Posted by: Robert at January 19, 2010 2:15 PM

You're gonna need a smaller boat.

Posted by: , at January 19, 2010 2:50 PM

Two sequels I wouldn't mind seeing:

"Teeth vs. Piranha"

Posted by: , at January 19, 2010 5:03 PM

Ever feel that you would easily see yourself fitting into his / her life despite the age difference? http://AgelessOnly.com is a good place.

Posted by: Rose at January 21, 2010 1:38 AM