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But I Think I Will Have Seen Everything When I See an Elephant Fly

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (19)

ongbak3.jpg

The trailer for Ong Bak 3 isn’t in English. I couldn’t even begin to take a stab at the plot. I read a summation, and I think there’s something about two princes and a resurrection spell and who the fuck cares? You don’t need to know what this is about. You don’t need to understand what’s going on. There doesn’t need to be a plot. Tony Jaa kicks the shit out of onehundredandtwentyteen motherfuckers. The end.

You’re welcome.









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Comments

Is him... Seems he is famous on some ta ll da ting place ____T allMingle Co M___ where are many hot models and handsome guys. Many tall singles find their lovers there

Posted by: garyll at April 12, 2010 10:12 AM

If it's anything even close to Ong Bak 2 I'm going to give it a pass. I like Tony Jaa but not even he could save that mess.

Posted by: admin at April 12, 2010 10:17 AM

Tony Jaa kicks the shit out of onehundredandtwentyteen motherfuckers. The end.

I've been holding on to this story in case "how did you first stumble onto Pajiba" ever became a comment diversion (PS: it should), but here goes:

I could vividly remember the trailer for The Protector but I could not for the life of me remember the name of the movie so on a whim I typed "guy jumps off a building and kicks a guy hanging off a helicopter" into Google. It took me to the Pajiba review (technically, it was a comment). You guys have such a way with descriptions.

The site was quickly bookmarked, followed by intense lurking, and the rest is history.

Posted by: Yossarian at April 12, 2010 10:21 AM

Ong-Bak 3: The Passion of Tony the Barbarian.

Posted by: Ranylt at April 12, 2010 10:38 AM

I never liked those onehundredandtwentyteen motherfuckers anyway...

Posted by: Ducky at April 12, 2010 10:50 AM

That heel stomp was fucking beautiful.

Yep, that's it. Carry on.

Posted by: Kballs at April 12, 2010 11:33 AM

Ong Bak 3: Because the Plot Doesn't Matter

Ong Bak 3: Wear Pads!

Ong Bak 3: The Movie Your Joints Don't Want to Watch

Ong Bak 3: No One Would Finance This Until Tony Jaa Drove His Elbow into God's Forehead

Ong Bak 3: More Bruises Per Square Inch Than an Apple in a Paint Can Mixer

Ong Bak 3: Because She Made You Take Her to Valentine's Day

Posted by: D-Day at April 12, 2010 12:37 PM

Awesome HTML coding by this guy.

p.s. I apologize for the Bing Pop-ups! I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT!

Posted by: D-Day at April 12, 2010 12:41 PM

Ong Bak 2 was so terrible and disappointing. Far too many attempts to shoehorn in dramatic motivation and back-story, when we all just came to see Tony Jaa get angry and whomp on some people. Hopefully this weird possession resurrection storyline contains much ass-kickery.

Posted by: e at April 12, 2010 12:50 PM

I thought that was a new Exorcist sequel.

Posted by: John W at April 12, 2010 1:20 PM

So is Jaa the resurrected demon assassin or is someone else the resurrected demon assassin?

I'm so confused...

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 12, 2010 2:27 PM

If you saw the 2nd Deist, he gets captured in the end after getting his ass whooped by the weird witchy/The Crow/lady.

It looks like he gets tortured a bit, and then perhaps a scene similar to Kung Fu Hustle when he gets thrown in the cast and comes out more badass than before?

And you have to factor that the chick in the 2nd movie is still out there for him to give the ole' Pad Thai Surprise, and he's gotta whack the Evil King (who looks like he may/may not be replaced/deposed by Witchy Woman).

Maybe the resurrected demon assassin thing is hyperbole? Exaggerated within the scope of the movie's folk hero tale or something?

Posted by: D-Day at April 12, 2010 3:18 PM

I could not give less of a shit about a plot. Deist, if you're confused, you're doing it wrong. We do not watch Tony Jaa for intricate story details, plot, or even dialogue.

All we need to know is that Jaa is one dude. There are Umpteentybilliondudes who are bigger than Tony Jaa, and they work for BigBad who in some way annoyed or upset or wronged Tony Jaa.

BigBad is probably bigger than Tony Jaa.

Tony Jaa will destroy all Umpteentybilliondudes, then he will destroy BigBad despite being exhausted and bleeding.
He will be victorious and all of those bad guys will be SO dead dude.

Did anyone see Chocolate?
Chocolate was fucking incredible, it was more of the same 'slightly built good guy with disadvantage kicks seven shades out of every single bad guy who looks at em funny.

Also, Tony Jaa went legitimately INSANE, which is why Ong Bak 2 was such a mess- he ran away into the mountains before the film was completed so Post Production had to construct a lot of the film around either his not being present, or his being present but being dangerously, wildly insane.

If he's back on form and kicking the ass of every motherfucker in the room, I will pay money to see it. I will pay good money, to see it.

Posted by: Nadine at April 12, 2010 3:26 PM

This could be the best thing since The Protector: Gimme back my Elephant.

Posted by: rich diculous at April 12, 2010 9:47 PM

Word on the streets of Thailand was Tony Ja was responsible for the mess that was Ong Bak 2. Something about a nervous breakdown and more money than God to create a movie that had no script which is why it ends the way it does.

Posted by: cj at April 13, 2010 8:01 AM

Ong Bak 2 was sicker than Europe in the plague years. Don't be foolish.

This is gonna make my year.

Posted by: majesky at April 13, 2010 9:55 AM

cj, the more money than god thing only applies in Thailand-the budget was about $6 million.
BUT, Jaa was starring, directing and producing and it all became too much

Posted by: Nadine at April 13, 2010 3:22 PM

the plot is simple

he dies and is brought back to life
by the magic power ong ong bak AKA in thai mean scared buddah head

then fucks the girl with his elephant dick

then turns the thai khon dance into a fighting style AkA Muay Khon

then kills 120 Mother fuckers

and in the end based neer the tree he was in the trailer founds the village from ong bak 1

in the end it all ties together its this crazy elephant cock slamin hottie fucking dredlock looking Junge book mother fucker who brings it all together for ong bak 1 what make ong bak so great in the first film?

this guys legend.... the end

Posted by: Rick at May 6, 2010 7:32 PM

anyone know the title of the song at the end of ong bak 3. the one thats playing at the credits?

Posted by: John at December 1, 2010 12:28 AM