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Oh, The Latest Underworld 4 Trailer Is Frightful, But Kate Beckinsale Is So Delightful... Let It Blow, Let It Blow, Let It Blow

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (15)

pajibaunderworld4trailer3c.jpg

You may or may not have noticed, but It’s been a “slow news day” since at least Friday, so the latest Underworld: Awakening trailer (a.k.a Underworld 4: Kate Beckinsale Is Back) is being brought to you with some regret. It’s really not close to being as good as any of the trailers that premiered last week, and it only slightly elaborates on the Twilightian plot that the first two trailers already hinted at. But, you know, as someone smarter than me once said: “It’s got leather, Beckinsale, and weaponry.”

What more could you really want, or expect? Even if it is latex, not leather:


Nor would I normally recommend watching this recapping trailer that, er, recaps the previous entries in this moderately entertaining, if unlikely franchise. As if anybody who would pay money to watch a new Underworld movie in the theater would need to be brought up to speed. Still, Kate Beckinsale herself implores that you do watch it, and I’m totally incapable of arguing against her.

I’ll be impressed, and also sad for you, if you can resist her introductory charms:


A friend of mine often likes to say he would “drink (fill in young, attractive female performer of your choice)’s bathwater” to express his appreciation for some women. I’m not saying I’d ever do that, I’m just saying it’s a smart decision to highlight Beckinsale’s return to Selene and the death dealer’s wardrobe. Why else would you watch this?


Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you’re into that sort of thing). He guesses Hulk-ified werewolves might be worth seeing, too (if you’re into that sort of thing).









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Comments

You had me at "Hulk-ified werewolves", but the trailer lost with the shiny silver "In 3D". Guess I'll be waiting to Netflix this.

And it has been slow on the internets since Friday. What's up? It's like everybody is on holiday.

Slackers.

Posted by: Groundloop at December 27, 2011 9:19 AM

“It’s got leather, Beckinsale, and weaponry.”

Correction: it's got leather, Beckinsale's fine ass in that leather, and weaponry being wielded by the aforementioned ass in the leather

Posted by: Fredo at December 27, 2011 9:27 AM

It always amuses me that the ultimate battle of vampires vs. werewolves will be fought with guns and leather, Matrix-style.

Posted by: bbmcrae at December 27, 2011 9:33 AM

It's also got Kris Holden-Ried as a werewolf. That man was born to play one.

What I don't understand is why we should root for the monsters in their war with humans.

Posted by: FabMax at December 27, 2011 9:45 AM

Did Kate Becks disappear for a while? I always liked her and have been known to watch a bad movie for her. We've been Keira Knightleyed and Natalie Portmanned to death. Bring on the Beckinsale!

Posted by: greer at December 27, 2011 10:38 AM

Hmmm, vampires being hunted down to near extinction by human beings, one female vampire warrior dressed in leather armed past the teeth, with all the guns in the world, a sword and a motorcycle, the rescuing of one child who might offer salvation, CGI assisted shootouts and fights...

Waitaminute, I've seen this movie before....

Ultraviolet starring Milla Jovovich. No, really.

Posted by: bleujayone at December 27, 2011 10:50 AM

Waitaminute, I've seen this movie before....

Ultraviolet starring Milla Jovovich. No, really.

Posted by: bleujayone at December 27, 2011 10:50 AM

You say that like it's a bad thing. The point sure ain't the back story on any of these.

Maybe they could save some development dollars and just make a truth-in-advertised series: "Vampyre Babes in Improbable Pleather." Cycle the talent as they have a career lull or want to "branch out" or something.

- Alison Brie stars in "Vampyre Babes in Improbable Pleather XXL - Elastic Limits."

- Ashley Greene stars in "Vampyre Babes in Improbable Pleather CME - I Want Some Screen Time, Too."

- Summer Glau stars in "Vampyre Babes in Improbable Pleather III - The Series I Can't Kill."

- Lea Michele stars in "Vampyre Babes in Improbable Pleather XXX - The Musical."

I'd watch the hell out of every one of those. (I am so shallow.)

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at December 27, 2011 12:16 PM

A fourth movie? I don't really get it. Kate Beckinsale is pretty good at the acting. She could make other movies. Why bother?

Also, I would pay real money for this:

Lea Michele stars in "Vampyre Babes in Improbable Pleather XXX - The Musical."

I love me some singing Vampires.

Posted by: Haystacks at December 27, 2011 12:23 PM

A fourth movie? I don't really get it. Kate Beckinsale is pretty good at the acting. She could make other movies. Why bother?

That's because she sucks as an actress. Did you watch Pearl Harbor?

Posted by: FabMax at December 27, 2011 12:50 PM

I admit to being a devotee of the Underworld series. I am powerless to resist vampires, werewolves, guns, and ass-kicking. [If the Twilight movies had more guns and ass-kicking, I might actually be into it.]

That said, this one, like the second one, will suffer a lack of Michael Sheen, and that makes me sad. I'll still watch it. But I'll be sad. Kind of like when Dylan McDermott masturbated and cried in American Horror Story.

Posted by: MM at December 27, 2011 1:19 PM

so, I can't watch the trailer (damn thoses work firewalls) but is my boyfriend scott speedman in this one?

Posted by: jenniferk525 at December 27, 2011 2:19 PM

What is the point of saving Michael Corvinus twice if you're not going to have him by your side against a Super Lycan?

They couldn't even handle the story of two warring sides properly in the second movie and now it's going to be a three way fight?

The first movie will always be the only real Underworld movie. Like The Matrix.

Posted by: haplo at December 27, 2011 3:42 PM

Awakening indeed! Awakened something in my pants!

Posted by: logan at December 27, 2011 6:07 PM

That's a lot of words wasted on a film you have no interest in.

Posted by: Joe at December 27, 2011 7:40 PM

It's called a movie review website, Joe. Maybe you're in the wrong place. Try Yahoo comments.

From the header pic it looks like Kate has had some injections of goddamn surgery. How many times do we have to be witness to beautiful women turning themselves into duck-faced Madames before they get the fucking message?!

Posted by: Protoguy at December 28, 2011 1:44 AM