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Nobody's Getting Laid in this Prom Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (28)

aimee-teegarden-3.jpg

Everybody’s describing Disney’s Prom — due out next April — as High School Musical without the music and dancing, and that sounds about right. It’s a Prom movie, and best I can tell, all it has going for it is Aimee Teegarden (“Friday Night Lights”), a 21-year-old playing a high school senior in one movie, and a college freshman on “FNL.”

Here’s the trailer. It’d probably be better with a boogeyman.











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Comments

There isn't enough poo in the world to throw in this movie's general direction.

Not ONE FUCKING SECOND of this movie will reflect anyone's experience in the history of highschoolery. It may as well be animated for how realistic it'll be.

And this is coming from someone whose senior prom was full of cake and weed and elevator sex.

Posted by: Kballs at November 19, 2010 9:55 AM

Rowles: FNL Spoiler!!!

Most of us won't see FNL until the summer!

(Sorry. Pulled (it's not a major plot point, however). -- DR)

Posted by: ed newman at November 19, 2010 9:57 AM

Is this secretly intended to be an official comment diversion about prom memories? No? Screw you I'm sharing mine anyway.

I went to prom as a freshman with my junior boyfriend (swoon) and all I really remember is seeing one of the senior chicks losing her mind on the dance floor (I later learned she was on acid), my now-husband (who wasn't my date...I turned him down. Irony.) standing by the punch bowl and dancing drunkenly to the music, and after it was all over, about ten of us went to a medieval-themed bar on the other side of town and head-banged to a Metallica cover band, still in our prom attire. We feasted on turkey legs and drank soda out of goblets.

It. Was. Awesome.

Also, fuck this movie.

Posted by: Dingles at November 19, 2010 10:19 AM

If this movie was anything like my prom, it would last just long enough to show off every girl's dress and then be over because all of the rednecks rented rooms at the hotel to impregnate their dates in.

Except for me, because I went to prom with the only gay guy in town.

Show THAT shit, Disney!

Posted by: ZombieNurse at November 19, 2010 10:24 AM

so like Valentines Day, but without the adults acting terrible, now its just people in their 20's trying to play high school kids, and still acting terrible

Posted by: Taylor K. at November 19, 2010 10:34 AM

cake and weed and elevator sex.

Posted by: Kballs at November 19, 2010 9:55 AM
---
Typical night at Stately , Manor.

Posted by: , at November 19, 2010 10:39 AM

Right Disney. High School Musical was immensely popular due to it's gripping story and well developed characters. It had nothing to do with campy humor and silly songs that are the equivalent of modern day show tunes.

Seriously, why not just make High School Musical 4 and start with a new cast? Are the composers making too much money now?

Posted by: L4NkYb at November 19, 2010 10:40 AM

Look at that longhair wannabe Tim Riggins! I know Tim Riggins and You, SIR, Are NO Tim Riggins.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 19, 2010 10:45 AM

Where is this magical High School where every single person is ridiculously good looking? And no one is fat or gay or short or black? Or wears glasses or has acne? I WANT TO TEACH THERE. I'm tired of teaching uggos.

Posted by: figgy at November 19, 2010 11:14 AM

Also: they probably don't even SMELL like teenagers! All AXE and Jasmine Blossom and sweat and hormones and acne cream and tater tots.

Posted by: figgy at November 19, 2010 11:17 AM

Disney movies are not the future I had planned for Aimee Teegarden. Sweetie, you are so much better than that. Your parents are Coach and Tami Taylor for christsakes!! I know they raised you to know to stay away from that crap.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at November 19, 2010 11:35 AM

My girlfriend and I broke up a week before prom, but went with her anyway. I had the opportunity to ditch her and to go with a well endowed sophmore girl who told me point blank that she'd de-virginize me if I took her as my date (it was a Jr. & Sr. Prom only), but I was in love and thought the romantic night would bring my ex and me back together. And then, as expected, all night I kept thinking, "I should have brought the other girl, I should have brought the other girl..."

And I was right. I should have brought the other girl.

Posted by: superasente at November 19, 2010 12:26 PM

I co-sign, Austin. When Mrs. Coach finds out about this, she's gonna have quite the talk with lil Julie...no, seriously. Connie Britton needs to put the kibosh on this with a quickness.

Also, Aimee Teegarden is not allowed to act in anything where Zach Gilford is not her love interest. Matt and Jules forever!!!

Posted by: Kowala1000 at November 19, 2010 12:42 PM

Ok, I'm just gonna say it. I love Friday Night Lights, but I don't like Tim Riggins. Whew... it feels better just saying it out loud.

Posted by: Melissa at November 19, 2010 1:40 PM

Look at that longhair wannabe Tim Riggins! I know Tim Riggins and You, SIR, Are NO Tim Riggins.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 19, 2010 10:45 AM

But...um...he...is...kinda pretty?

Don't hate.

And WHY Aimee Teegarden!? WHY!? Oh please say this girl's next 5 projects are dark indie dramas....

Posted by: grace b at November 19, 2010 2:36 PM

But Melissa, Tim Riggins likes YOU. He does. He wants to hang out and have beers with you on the football field after hours. He wants to wrap you in his insanely beautiful arms and protect you from tornadoes. He wants to buy you a dog, and teach you to play football, and give you a fun nickname. For reals.

Posted by: Kowala1000 at November 19, 2010 3:06 PM

Dear god! I'm starting to worry that Superasente was my date. Because that is the EXACT story of my prom, except from the female ex's perspective.

If it is you, then I just want you to know: I had a shitty time too. And know that your presence didn't stop me from doing dirty deeds that night with the really tall, hulking kid who sat in the back corner of our English class. So you should've gone with that other girl.

Posted by: shanmarie at November 19, 2010 3:12 PM

Wow, shanmarie, despite the minimal likelihood that superasente really was your prom date and that his date ended up doing what you did, you probably just made his memory of that terrible night much, much worse. Impressive.

Posted by: Kballs at November 19, 2010 3:34 PM

Ah shit. I do realize that now, Kballs.

The thing is: my date and I had broken up. We both could've (and should've) gone with other people. But we figured it was too much work to re-plan everything and it could possibly be fun in a completely sex-less manner. But we ignored each other all night, and I drunkenly ran into one of the other guys.

I'd really like to take a prom machine back and decide not to go to prom. That would save a lot of drama and time wasted listening to girls cry about how everyone else was wearing red dresses as well. And it would've saved me from posting a bitch comment.

I apologize for that, and hope your life improved post-prom, superasente.

Posted by: shanmarie at November 19, 2010 4:12 PM

...And by "prom-machine" I mean time machine.

Posted by: shanmarie at November 19, 2010 4:13 PM

Tell me this trailer is actually a very cunning marketing ploy for the next set of high school slasher movies. Please!

Release a bunch of cutesy, all too wholesome and bland trailers, to really drum up the hatred for these characters on an instinctive level within a jaded and cynical demographic.

Then, BAM! Release the final teaser with jump cuts of said teenage goody-two-shoeses meeting their eviscerations at the hands of a masked maniac.

Uh-oh, fooled you! People gonna die!

Tell me that's what is happening here. Please, for the love of something less mediocre, I want this to be true!

Posted by: DarthBrookes at November 19, 2010 4:18 PM

ZombieNurse, did we go to the same prom?

Posted by: latvianluck at November 19, 2010 4:46 PM

I never went to my Prom. Or Homecoming. I so didn't care, and I don't regret it. People who say they regret it are ass-holes.

Posted by: Candee at November 19, 2010 5:55 PM

The only people who will love this movie are middle school girls. Do we really need to keep telling them that you must have the perfect dress or they will fail to define their nascent young adult selfhood?

My prom was tame and wholesome. My friends and I had a good time wearing dresses that made us feel princessy. There were other experiences senior year that were just as meaningful and fun. Then I went to college and realized most prom updos were a tacky, and you don't need tulle to look good at a dance. The end.

Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at November 20, 2010 12:43 AM

... and tater tots.

Posted by: figgy at November 19, 2010 11:17 AM
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Why are you smelling my daughter?

Posted by: Tater Barley Banks at November 20, 2010 1:39 AM

Dingles, I love your prom story (and that you later married the guy dancing drunkenly by the punch bowl). My own prom experience was terrible. Thank goodness I had zero expectations, so I wasn't disappointed or surprised.

Posted by: lucy at November 20, 2010 11:10 AM

this is coming from someone whose senior prom was full of cake and weed and elevator sex.

Why would you have sex with an elevator?
I guessin' 'cuz there wasn't much persuasion needed to make it go down?

Posted by: Rykker at November 21, 2010 2:53 AM

All these movies seem so xeroxed there's really no difference between Hallmark crap and theater release other than a more recognisable face.
That said, our prom was lovely.
Actually, all of them were, as the entire highschool went each year and it really didn't matter which class we were celebrating.
But the best one was right before graduation (or is it called something different?) where I went in costume as Carmen. It was not a costume ball, but I rocked it, and I doubt anyone realised what was going on :)

Posted by: Kateshi Rinkichiku at November 22, 2010 4:50 AM