No Showers After the Apocalypse: "Walking Dead" Season 3 Clip
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No Showers After the Apocalypse: "Walking Dead" Season 3 Clip

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | October 10, 2012 | Comments ()


"Walking Dead" season three is coming up quickly, which means that it's time for clips and trailers and posters and any other chunk of bytes that can be tossed up on a website besides just uploading the damned episodes already.

Here is the wandering crew taking a pit stop on what appears to be the worst road trip ever:

There's a McDonalds on I5 between Los Angeles and the Bay Area that has had a broken McFlurry machine for fifteen years. I stopped there the first time on my way to my freshman year of college, but I make it a point to stop there everytime I'm on that stretch of interstate just to order a McFlurry that I know I can't get. I'm pretty sure that a McDonalds in the apocalypse of "The Walking Dead" would still on average manage to repair a McFlurry machine in less time. Still, the clip puts my normal road trip complaints in perspective. I've only had to drive hours out of my way, dodging endless mobs roaming the countryside and blocking the highways when the Pope was in Denver that one time I drove through Colorado.

The funny thing isn't just that the characters are extraordinarily dirty at this point, but that their cars, including the quirky little pastel green number, are absolutely immaculate. Apparently they found a still functioning car wash at some point, but no one thought to strut their own stank through it.

A place to hole up? Now just bear with me a moment here. I know that there's a graphic novel series that is being drawn from, and everyone knows that they're heading to prison this season, but I've got a better idea.

Cruise ship.

See, the dead can't swim, so as long as you get the boat out into more than twenty feet of water, you should be perfectly safe. Plus, there would be plenty of water, so bathing would suddenly be back on the table again.

The other related alternative is to head to the Mississippi and get a river boat, a la Mark Twain. Put Rick in a seersucker suit, and I think this season could be the best yet.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • special snowflake

    If you think it's curious that the vehicles are so clean, even more remarkable is how their rear-view mirrors go missing, depending on what camera angle you're looking at.

  • littlealbatross

    Yeah am I a bad person for praying EVERY episode that the kid and the knocked up-worthless bitchypants chick will die (I'm not even asking for a horrible death, just death)? I think it would save me from throwing food at my TV, and also serve for character development of Rick: Rick hits bottom, has nothing to loose, his shit is lost, goes zombie-killing cray-cray, experiences personal growth, finds a not annoying reason to live and keep fighting (at some point there should be Rick-tears, because his cryface is epic). OK mostly I just hate that kid and his mom, and am reaching to justify the absolute necessity of their deaths. She is worthless and the kid is not even cute, or endearing to be tolerable.

  • GDI

    *Possible spoiler(s)*
    Wait until good ol' Cpt Hook makes an appearance, via the Governor. I've been waiting for Carl to bite it in the books, but that has yet to come to fruition. Lori's demise is as satisfying as it is brutal. Which is to say, very. Ummmm, tasty.

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    I agree with you completely, and have been screaming about this from the beginning. Goddammit, Carl! Do what your parents tell you!

  • Nadine


  • hasshole

    Your post and the comments here have more comedic moments than the entire run of The Serious Walking Dead. Lighten up the show a bit, it's zombies for christ's sakes.

  • Yes, because flesh-eating revenants just SCREAM "light" and "hilarious".

    -"Look, mom's reanimated corpse is tearing out dad's throat!"

    -"Should we stop her?"

    -"No, it's just like when they were alive, only with more blood and cannibalism."

    -"Oh Greg!"

    *cue cheesy 80s theme music*

    The Walking Dead, Sundays this Fall on NBC - Get infected with comedy!

  • GDI

    The show fails to convey any characters worthy of viewers interest (excluding Daryl, and even he's somewhat of a party pooper). Might as well go for broke.

  • hasshole

    Yes. I mean I prefer early 90's theme music, but I'm not gonna split hairs.
    There is middle ground to be explored. Shaun of the Dead explored the light hilarious side of zombies quite well!

  • Crisyroo

    I can not be dealing with this 'Not available in your country' bullshite where The Walking Dead is concerned, someone re-enact it with puppets!

    Just 5 more sleeps until Season 3.

  • MikeRoorda

    As we learned from Brooks in World War Z, cruise ships are an extremely risky venture. If you haven't properly insured that everyone on board is free of zombie-itis or cleared all the undead out of the cargo holds, a ship at sea quickly becomes a floating all-you-can-eat brain buffet. You also have to be concerned about them climbing the rigging if you remain anchored. (They aren't alive, they don't breath and can walk around underwater indefinitely.) Lastly, if you DO manage to set up on a ship and are safe from infection, the question of logistics quickly becomes an issue. Finding enough fresh water and food to keep everyone alive is extremely difficult. You *could* raid infected ships after they've mostly died off from starvation or stumbled overboard, but then you risk infection yourself, and there's no guarantee that the foodstuffs will still be usable.

    If I had to chose someplace to ride out the zombie invasion it would be in an old castle some place rural in Europe. They're already designed to resist sieges and are intentionally easy to defend. Some of them have their own sources of fresh water. Keep enough cattle or livestock on hand and as SOON as shit goes south stock as many dry goods as possible and you might be able to make it through.

  • bibliophile

    I love that you put so much thought into this. I don't feel like such a freak now.

  • I like it. Then Merle finds a tugboat and hijinks ensue.

  • David Sorenson

    It's like Steamboat Willie, but with Zombies!! I love it! Pitch it to the Disney Channel for Saturdays!!

  • BobbFrapples

    The Zombie Survival Guide a la Max Brooks says that, unless you are an experienced ocean sailor, stay away from the ocean. Hurricanes, sharks, lack of fresh water, zombie infested wrecks, etc. makes for a very tough place to survive the zombie apocalypse...
    This is one of my favorite time-killer conversations.

  • Dragonchild

    An uninhabited, rocky island is better than a boat. Sure zombies can float, but all that gets them is being smashed into goo along the rocks. The problem is that beyond mere survival, your existence is without purpose -- and frankly, figuring out how to avoid zombies altogether doesn't make for an interesting story. So casts are doomed to wander from shelter to shelter, because that's really the point.

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