free counter with statistics Night at the Museum 2 Trailer | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

NightAtTheMuseum_2.jpg
Please, Mommy. Make the Bad Man Stop Hurting Me

I Would Kill for a Boot Right Now / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | December 22, 2008 | Comments (23)

Here’s the trailer for Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian. In it, Jonah Hill, Amy Adams, Ben Stiller, Bill Hader, Christopher Guest, Ricky Gervais, Owen Wilson, Hank Azaria and Steve Coogan all prove just how easy it is to pick up a paycheck. It also proves, once and for all, that “The State’s” Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon (Balls of Fury, Taxi, Herbie Fully Loaded, The Pacifier, and Let’s Go to Prison) are, in fact, the absolute worst screenwriters in the history of mankind. Seriously: The average Tomatometer of the seven films they have written together is 26 percent. 26 percent. Why do they continue to get scriptwriting gigs (they are next attached to The Incredible Shrinking Man)? I realize that their movies perform fairly well at the box-office, but can you imagine how much better they’d do if the scripts weren’t flaming bags of shit. 26 percent! They should be retroactively booted from “The State.” They’re not just an embarrassment to sketch comedy, they’re an embarrassment to Michael Ian Black.

Do you know how hard it is to be an embarrassment to Michael Ian Black?

Fuck me. Here’s the trailer:



← Judge Dredd Remake | Pajiba Love 12/22/08 →



Comments

Wow, even worse than the first one.

Posted by: OldSchool at December 22, 2008 11:15 AM

I realize that their movies perform fairly well at the box-office, but can you imagine how much better they'd do if the scripts weren't flaming bags of shit.

Right, because quality is what gets recognized at the box office. Personally, I just pretend their involvement in shitty movies doesn't exist so I can enjoy Reno 911!

Posted by: Sabrina at December 22, 2008 11:20 AM

BUT THEY ARE LT. DANGLE AND JUNIOR! For the love of God, can we just grant the dispensation, agree we will never see or acknowledge any (non-Reno 911-related) movie of theirs, and focus on the inherent hilarity of Thomas Lennon's short-shorts and/or Garant's porno-stache???

Posted by: Tammy at December 22, 2008 11:44 AM

The first movie had such potential, but the scriptwriters wouldn't know a joke from a hole in the ground.

Posted by: twig at December 22, 2008 12:17 PM

I think the answer is obvious:

Garant and Lennon are shitty writers, which is why the joined an IMPROV group.

Reno 911! is 99% improv (they come up with the general plot and individual scenes, but everything else is made up on the spot), which explains the remarkable chasm of quality and humor between the two.

Plus, they are limited to 22 minutes, so they can't make scat joke filler.

Your are welcome.

Posted by: Vermillion at December 22, 2008 12:44 PM

Is it wrong that I laughed a little at Lincoln making fun of Ben Stiller's usual schtick? It snuck a laugh out of me. Maybe it's because I haven't had a drink in what feels like two weeks, I'm all de-toxicated. Stupid Christmas break and home and family where we live in the middle of nowhere and the snow traps us weekly and we have to engage in family activities like Scrabble and Muppet Christmas Carol. I will get my hands on some eggnog. Mark my words.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 22, 2008 12:51 PM

Ben Stiller's usual schtick drives me up the fucking wall. I can't watch the preview on general principle.

Posted by: Jeni at December 22, 2008 12:56 PM

I kind of liked the first one. Probably because I was surprised it didn't suck, but I kind of liked it.

Posted by: kelsy at December 22, 2008 1:47 PM

Optimus, are you saying there is something wrong with Muppet Christmas Carol? Excuse me?

Muppets! Michael Caine! Kermit singing! MICHAEL CAINE SINGING!

Seriously, I will fight you.

Posted by: MN_Jen at December 22, 2008 1:49 PM

I think I saw the first one...I remember snow at the end of the movie, and Robin Williams? And the dinosaur. But nothing else comes to mind. I'll probably see this, I have nieces that eat this shit up. Wish me luck.

Posted by: Snath at December 22, 2008 1:50 PM

Credit where credit is due, what an amazing cast.

Now, that's out of the way. FUCK THIS MOVIE!

Posted by: Audiosuede at December 22, 2008 1:58 PM

Right, because quality is what gets recognized at the box office. Personally, I just pretend their involvement in shitty movies doesn't exist so I can enjoy Reno 911!

Damn right, Sabrina. As far as I'm concerned, they're just Lt. Dangle & Junior, looking for Terry-like criminals.

Tammy, don't forget Junior's oversized sunglasses. Because Robert Ben Garant looks downright scary without them. Seriously. He frightens me.

Posted by: Brie at December 22, 2008 2:27 PM

Hey hey hey...I liked the first one. It was cute throwaway kid humor. And it had Dick Van Dyke! Being a total weirdo.

Posted by: NotBlonde at December 22, 2008 2:42 PM

The movie doesn't look that bad. It is a kid's film. It looks mediocre, just like the first one. This site loves mediocre films for adults. Just look at the glaring reviews for "The Dark Knight" and "Iron Man." Both films were mediocre action flicks, but everyone here loved them because that's what you do with films like this. This film is the "Dark Knight" for kids.

And the State is overrated, Michael Ian Black isn't that funny, and Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon created and write Reno 911 which is better than anything else mentioned on this page.

Posted by: mark at December 22, 2008 3:52 PM

I want to see your top ten, Mark, just so I can mock you. Either for having crap taste, or being pretentious.

Actually, I don't. I just want pie. Delicious pie.

Posted by: twig at December 22, 2008 4:24 PM

I know it will suck, and the first one probably did too (I couldn't convince anyone to go see it with me), but it just might get some kids interested in history, and that would be cool. And is it just me or did the preview imply a parallel w/ President Bush and Custer w/ the whole 'mission accomplished' bit?

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at December 22, 2008 4:26 PM

Robin Williams is a disgrace to Theodore Roosevelt. Who was bitchin'.

Speak softly, Stiller. And I would recommend a big-ass stick.

Posted by: alison. at December 22, 2008 4:31 PM

A friend of mine worked on the set for this movie. His described his job as "Ben Stiller's whipping boy when his coffee gave him gas"

Apparently his wife is really cool though, not a huge twat like stiller himself

Posted by: Poodlesnack at December 22, 2008 4:39 PM

MN_Jen, I know what I described sounds rather glorious. But, you see, it is not the Scrabble and Muppet Christmas that annoy me. It is the family. You see, they do not share my affinity for polysyllabic words and Puppetry so these activities are met with scorn or dismay. Michael Caine is a glorious Scrooge.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 22, 2008 5:21 PM

Oh, Amy Adams.

Have you no dignity?

Posted by: figgy at December 22, 2008 6:40 PM

Have you no dignity?

Maybe she just knew how good she'd look in the role (terrifyingly good), which is just as unfair as Hank Venture's blind date wearing goggles. The hair is the cherry on top/stiletto in the ribcage.

*King Arthur voice* You make me sad.*


I hate Scrabble.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 7:47 PM

Eat some fuck mark! Iron Man and The Dark Knight were the best films of the year, and The Dark Knight was the best film I've seen in a theater.

This film looks awful, but at least Ben Stiller can't sink lower than the Heartbreak Kid. Unless, this film also has... Carlos Mencia! No, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: George at December 22, 2008 9:59 PM

Whew! Optimus, I'm glad I don't need to fight you. You've always seemed like a nice guy, but I was willing to go to battle for the honor of my beloved Kermit and Michael Caine. I'm glad to see we're on the same page.

Good luck with the non-Scrabble and non-Muppet lovin' folks. I suggest heavy drinking.

Posted by: MN_Jen at December 23, 2008 2:37 AM