Newcastle Trailer

Dude. Dude?! Dude! Dude.

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (43)

OK. So watch this trailer for me. This has been playing several times at the local arthouse cineplex. Often times, because it’s the arthouse, we tend to get a bevy of subtitled pieces, some interesting documentaries (The Garden sounds particularly arresting) or some really odd ones. But this one has been playing on frequent rotation. Anyway, give it a gander.

So. What the hell is that movie about? I have no fucking idea. Is it an American Eagle ad?

That’s alright. Maybe the poster will shed some light on this.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MOVIE ABOUT? Is this Pacific Sunwear’s sudden revenge for being forced out of business? I thought it might be an ad for the Newcastle beer, but that would more likely involve hooligans in jerseys head-butting each other. At least the Facebook page lends it artistic credence, right?

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Comments

Man, and this isn't even the trailer I was watching. The one I watched, literally just had four guys surfing. That was the entireity. Now that I see there's a plot, and Australian accents, I'm even angrier at God. Holy shit, the Puritans were right.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at April 20, 2009 10:05 AM

where are all the geordies? this is weird

Posted by: jim of the lower case at April 20, 2009 10:09 AM

Man......whatever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykLjK-d1940

Posted by: Jay at April 20, 2009 10:13 AM

Well I, for one, don't even care. I saw the poster ad first and was like "Yay! It's about shirtless gay boys who drink beer!" Then I watched the trailer and was assaulted by a seemingly endless parade of breasts. So, no, I no longer care.

I call that poster false advertising. Yes, I do!

But that one shaved head brother in the trailer? HOT!

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at April 20, 2009 10:14 AM

i watched that without sound. It probably didn't make a difference in my understanding of the plot...they said four friends...three brothers...then named about eighteen dudes...who the fuck is the main character?
Also, was one of those kids one of the girls from Tokio Hotel?
Cos....seriously

Posted by: nadine at April 20, 2009 10:14 AM

Also ' a place just short of paradise...almost'

WHAT?!

It's almost just short of paradise? So its not quite just short of paradise? So its over one step away from paradise and therefore isn't really anything like paradise at all.
May as well have said 'A place sort of like paradise, only not really, and then once removed again....with australians...yeah'

Fucking....God it just...it makes me so mad!!!!

Posted by: Nadine at April 20, 2009 10:16 AM

It's like a big Australian surfer dude circle jerk.

And who names their kid Fergus?

Posted by: wsapnin at April 20, 2009 10:19 AM

This has already been, gone and flopped down here in Australia, suprised its getting any kind of stateside release. I haven't wathed it, but from my understanding its the Aussie equivelent to "Never Back Down".

Posted by: returnofthesmith at April 20, 2009 10:20 AM

It's the dude version of Blue Crush! Only with attractive people.

Posted by: admin at April 20, 2009 10:22 AM

But that one shaved head brother in the trailer? HOT!

Mmmhmmmm. Otherwise it looks like a giant pile of sex wax covered feces.

Posted by: Kolby at April 20, 2009 10:27 AM

WTF is with your ads lately that have people talking and music and shit? Makes me really... not want to visit here.

Posted by: AlexaCastro at April 20, 2009 10:30 AM

Can we talk about the tagline for a second? "You're only young forever once."

Really? REALLY?!

Posted by: delurker at April 20, 2009 10:32 AM

and nadine what's up with "you're only young forever once"
how does that make sense ? HOW ???

Posted by: tris at April 20, 2009 10:32 AM

Yeah, I think Admin is right. It's like a guy version of Blue Crush.

But gay.

Posted by: TK at April 20, 2009 10:33 AM

damn delurker we have the same problem there

Posted by: tris at April 20, 2009 10:34 AM

Bisexual, semi-incestual, soft-porn surf war, coming-of-age beach bore with an accidental death on the side.

Posted by: Cindy at April 20, 2009 10:36 AM

aww, someone needs a *donkeypunch*

Posted by: gp at April 20, 2009 10:39 AM

It's Top Gun on surfboards?

Posted by: branded at April 20, 2009 10:40 AM

Well, I for one am still excited about the scantily clad young men and teh "undercurrent" of homoeroticism, but I'm just that kind of woman.

I gotta agree with delurker, though... what the hell is that nonsensical tagline about? oh, and nadine with the "almost just short of paradise" thing. What the hell is going on?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 20, 2009 10:41 AM

This film looks like absolute shit... KINDA! It made me laugh my arse off - SORT OF!!! I can't wait to see it (IN A WAY).

I'm going to see this film never once.

Posted by: Caspar at April 20, 2009 10:51 AM

How many cliche writeovers can you cram into one trailer?

"There is a place ..."

"Four friends ..."

"They make their own rules ..."

"Fergus ..."

I'm only watching this if it involves four shark attacks and the girls consoling each other in that special way ...

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 20, 2009 10:58 AM

So this Art House Film is actually a clever parody of every "surfer" film out there. They'd call it "Surf Movie" but the title has to be willfully obscure in keeping with the definition of the genre.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 20, 2009 11:04 AM

Well I WAS going to stop in Newcastle on my honeymoon next week... now my foot will be on the floor the whole way through.

Posted by: Eep at April 20, 2009 11:28 AM

Um. Oh, dear.
I've not seen Blue Crush, so I kept thinking "North Shore".

Posted by: ahamos at April 20, 2009 11:28 AM

Looks like an ad for a gay dating service. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Slash at April 20, 2009 12:19 PM

Other than surfing, I cannot imagine what this movie could be about.

I lost interest in the trailer about :20 in when I realized that my initial excitement at the movie poster had been misguided. This was not going to be a porno which would have been more aptly titled Gay Lagoon: Blonde Lovin' Down Under.

Dear Movie Poster Making People: You're poster is made of wrongness and false advertising. You will be hearing from my legal department.

Posted by: greer at April 20, 2009 12:29 PM

Being in Australia I've seen this film made the rounds here, though here it was marketed less "hot dudes" and more "working class darkness and corruption squelching impossible Australian dreams."

Its a documentary about surfer kids on the edge. I believe it involves sex, drugs, gangs and whatnot.

I was just in Newcastle last week. it is a really odd city; it looks like it used to be really fancy but has since become decrepit. All colors there are pastel. Oddly they have a Westfield brand mall, just like those in California. Yay Globalization.

Posted by: Gigi at April 20, 2009 12:50 PM

This is clearly an Abercrombie ad.

Posted by: Captain Steve at April 20, 2009 12:54 PM

@Eep Oh you should stop in Newcastle, drive down the shore and romantically walk to the light house. The beach is really pretty! It looks like a landscape painting from the 80s in a cool sort of way. The beach even has a really weird "baths" section. Also in town there are some great places with cream scones.

Besides, if you skip Newcastle there is nothing around for miles and miles. One thing I've learned about road tripping in Australia: always stop in cities for food or you are going to be out of luck and you will end up eating something from a gas station, because it is the only option.

Posted by: Gigi at April 20, 2009 12:56 PM

Sooooo... when did pajiba start reviewing gay porn?

Posted by: Sad Rockstar at April 20, 2009 1:09 PM

Guys, Yeah...you're only young forever once.

Dude. Like...Deep.

what ever was being smoke when this was written was both awesome and terrifying.

Posted by: Nadine at April 20, 2009 1:44 PM

Gigi- I was just kidding. It's not a major stop on my trip, but I won't actually speed through for fear of being waylaid by rogue surfers. And actually that part of the trip precedes the scuba diving, so not eating anything might not be such a bad thing...

Posted by: Eep at April 20, 2009 3:20 PM

Looks great to me. I'll be developing a drinking game in no time with this masterpiece.

I can't think of the exact quote from Snow Crash, but something along the lines of "Gayer that a treefull of monkeys on nitrous."

Posted by: Becky Tri-Tip Goddess at April 20, 2009 3:40 PM

I AM AN F. B. I. AGENT!!

Where's the Keanu Reeves cameo?

Posted by: logar at April 20, 2009 4:35 PM

Nadine, your 'almost just short of paradise'-post almost made me piss myself with laughter. Thought you should know....

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at April 20, 2009 6:18 PM

I saw the poster ad first and was like "Yay! It's about shirtless gay boys who drink beer!"

Oh, wait, The Pink Hulk already said that. Oh, well, me, too.

Posted by: corvus at April 20, 2009 8:11 PM

I get it - "Forever Young" that song from the 80s or whatever got covered by an Aussie band Youth Group, and all our surfers and skateboarders who are between the ages of 18 and nothing decided to make it their anthem 3 years ago... hence the tagline.
Oh and wsapnin... people. People name their kid Fergus.

Posted by: Kate at April 20, 2009 8:47 PM

Dude, it's like someone took Blue Water High, which is a kids show about kids who basically surf instead of being at a real school, combined it with Blue Crush and a tiny bit of Puberty Blues, set it in Newcastle (I've been there, it's really not all that) and pushed it out into the world, destined to fail because of it's complete sucktitude.

God I hate the Australian Film Industry.

Because you know what? Apparently, surfing is something that is Quintessentially Australian. If you don't surf, like, dude, you're not, like, a proper Aussie.

Except where I grew up the sea was full of things that kill you and there was no surf to speak of. I don't fucking surf and I have no intention of ever learning. I hate the beach. It's salty, dirty and full of stupid people.

Stupid movies continuing the ridiculous stereotypes of what Australians are. So I say, Fuck you, AFI!

Posted by: rach at April 20, 2009 10:05 PM

Echo that! nadine, I laughed fit to split.

Posted by: replica at April 20, 2009 10:30 PM

Oh, man. I hope it turns out to be a slasher flick.

Posted by: stardust savant at April 21, 2009 7:22 AM

I grew up in Newcastle and remember watching this trailer last year thinking 'what the fuck?'. Apparently we all spent our youth torn between the waves and the coal mines.

The movie is nothing much like the trailer, but still mostly sucks.

Posted by: Katie at April 21, 2009 7:33 AM

First, it comes from Mel Gibson's company...So there's got to be blood.
second, It might be the same script for fast and furiousest 5 (in Brazil). Water, Enemies, Girls, Sharks!
...

On the other hand, the poster was made up for Dustin (the sad part is that there's no ryan reynolds or christian Bale)

Posted by: mario at April 21, 2009 9:51 PM

You're only young forever, once?

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!

Posted by: RonnyK at May 1, 2009 1:34 PM

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