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Milla Jovovich Will Kill Zombies In Your Lap

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (23)

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I’m on record as thoroughly enjoying the first Resident Evil film. Dustin thought it was crap, but given that Dustin didn’t know the difference between Flash Gordon and The Flash, I’m gonna go ahead and say his opinion on all things geek-related isn’t all that important. Regardless, there are more than a few Resident Evil fans out there.

I guess what I’m saying is, this post is for those people. While I enjoyed the first film, the second (Apocalypse) was an overblown, bloated mess. The third (Extinction) wasn’t as bad, but didn’t quite hit the right notes. Perhaps it’s because one of the things that worked about the first film was that it was small — a group of soldiers, trapped underground, zombies and monsters and a menacing as fuck computer system voiced by a little girl. It worked. Once writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson started trying to explore grander, worldwide themes, the series started to stumble.

Now we’ve got the trailer for the fourth, and likely (hopefully) final entry, Resident Evil: Afterlife, which seems to scale things back in some ways, but then again, they’re touting the hell out of the effects (it’s in 3D, and the fancy, James-Cameron-Swingin’-Dick kind, not some crappy post-production 3D). It’s in 3D! Kaboom! It’ll feel like the undead are being decapitated right in front of you! You’ll get goo and ichor on your pants!

Watch the trailer. It’s got some interesting stuff in it — Wesker’s in it, as is Wentworth Miller (“Prison Break”) as Chris Redfield. Yes, the films fuck up the chronology and storylines of the games, but let’s be honest — the Resident Evil games have some pretty ridiculous plotlines anyway.

Oh, and while you don’t see him in the trailer? Kim Coates, people. We all know that movies need more Kim Coates.

Here’s the trailer, courtesy of The Playlist:

Yeah. I’ll see it. I may punch myself afterward, but I’ll see it.









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Comments

Dustin thought it was crap, but given that Dustin didn’t know the difference between Flash Gordon and The Flash, I’m gonna go ahead and say his opinion on all things geek-related isn’t all that important.

Word up.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at June 22, 2010 10:39 AM

It should have died at Extinction.

... No, actually, I take it back. It should have never been born.

Posted by: SB at June 22, 2010 10:41 AM

Two things...

1.) This is supposed to be the last movie before the film series is...wait for it...rebooted.

2.) "Kill zombies in your lap"? Is that some sort of new terminology for a handjob or something?

Posted by: DoctorControversy at June 22, 2010 11:10 AM

Re: Milla Jovovich Will Kill Zombies In Your Lap
Kill zombies in your lap

She already does TK. She already does.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 22, 2010 11:21 AM

MJ can do anything she likes in my lap

Posted by: idleprimate at June 22, 2010 11:23 AM

Damn right I'll see it. With a zombie strategically hidden in my pants to give Milla some motivation.

Posted by: admin at June 22, 2010 11:40 AM

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL OF THESE MOVIES

Posted by: D-Day at June 22, 2010 12:00 PM

...there's a difference between The Flash and Flash Gordon?

Posted by: figgy at June 22, 2010 12:25 PM

of course there's a difference, Flash Gordon has wavier hair and has special skills in looking vacant.

Posted by: idleprimate at June 22, 2010 12:59 PM

Run, Figgy. Run and keep running. The geeks are full of Fritos and Mountain Dew; if you get a head start you can outrun them.
For the record, I do know the difference between the Flash and Flash Gordon, but I hate both of them, so fuck it.
Also, I will be seeing this movie. Not because I think it looks particularly impressive (the script seems to be horrid), but because I've seen all the others and I enjoy giving money to Leeloo.

Posted by: Kevin at June 22, 2010 1:03 PM

You don't know The Flash? Otherwise known as Dawson Leery's dad?

Posted by: Irina at June 22, 2010 1:43 PM

lol...really? I found a place that many players are hoo king up with h ot mo dels, seems the club called: __Tallconnect ",Co''M___, do you hear this before?

Posted by: clark23 at June 22, 2010 1:47 PM

I hated the Flash. He was too quick. Women don't like quick men.

Now Flash Gordon wore tiny hotpants and um, well just watch a Buster Crabbe marathon for a good laugh, and then watch Flesh Gordon right after it.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 22, 2010 2:09 PM

Can't help it, I've got a Jones for Milla. I even liked Ultraviolet. Yeah, I know.

Posted by: Dave at June 22, 2010 5:45 PM

Yeah, I liked the first movie too, and was moderately entertained by the sequels even though they weren't actually good. But ultimately, I will watch this because they sold it with APC at the close of the trailer. Goddamn I love that song.

Posted by: Kalexal at June 22, 2010 6:47 PM

(it’s in 3D, and the fancy, James-Cameron-Swingin’-Dick kind, not some crappy post-production 3D)

Really? Can't tell from the trailer. Looks lame as hell.

Posted by: Arthur Dent at June 22, 2010 7:24 PM

The music in there movies makes me feel like they haven't come very far since like 2000.

Posted by: Ken Hart at June 22, 2010 7:36 PM

It's a shitty line but honestly, I liked this better the first time when they called it Ultraviolet. Also, how can anyone not love a movie (Flash Gordon)with a soundtrack done completely by Queen?

Posted by: Jack Random at June 22, 2010 8:20 PM

I'll see it, if only to discover how he breaks out of prison this time. Also to see how he came back from the dead. I'll bet hes a zombie and he's got the cure tattooed on his body.

Posted by: enochroot at June 22, 2010 8:27 PM

Oh Milla Jovovich. When will you come to your senses and sleep with me?

Posted by: Odnon at June 23, 2010 12:10 AM

This looks way too much like it was shot for 3-D.

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at June 23, 2010 12:46 AM

seriously TK, did you really need to tag this article with that line knowing the kind of comments this site gets *without* encouragement?

Posted by: Karen at June 23, 2010 12:54 PM

TK, bless you for the Kim Coates love. Granted, just like nearly ever other movie he is in, he will probably play some creepy evil dude and get killed off early, but we'll take what we can get. His character of Tig in Sons Of Anarchy is freakin brilliant...creepy and evil, but in a really really GOOD, HOT way.

Posted by: beautifulgirl0715 at June 23, 2010 9:26 PM