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Needs More Elephants: NBC's "Hannibal" Gets a Teaser

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | February 18, 2013 | Comments ()


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NBC, in the latest of about a decade’s worth of fantastic programming decisions, is pushing forward with “Hannibal”, the television show that no one is looking forward to. In fact, the teaser trailer feels so much like “The Following” that other than the actors, I wonder if they’re the same show. Ooh! Maybe Mads Mikkelsen can help Kevin Bacon catch Mark Antony!

Here’s the teaser trailer:

I know it makes me sound very old, but all I could think of when young Will starts angst ranting about mercy was that he should get a haircut and put a tie on if he wants to be taken seriously as a grown up government agent. Damned hippie.

The instant Laurence Fishbourne hit the screen, it snapped into focus. The reason that this is suspenseful and terror-stricken is because it is actually a crossover between “CSI” and “Criminal Minds.” Can you taste the horror? Of completely made up physical pseudo-science, and completely made up mental pseudo-science? It’s the perfect storm of pretend science that scorches the mind of anyone who knows anything about the actual reality of such things.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • annie

    But. Bryan Fuller.

  • Uh, Mads Mikkelsen means that I'm looking forward to it.

  • HMDK

    Are there no slaughterhouses?

  • Pretty Hate Machine

    I love Mads Mikkelson, but I am not sure about this. The most excitement I found was hearing Trent Reznor's music in the trailer(How to Destroy Angels, featuring wife Mariqueen singing).

  • Enough with the serial killer porn.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Better that than porn for serial killers.

  • HMDK

    The difference is hard to spot. And boring. Seriously, go play "The Cat Lady" instead.

  • A part of me wishes these major networks would just go to hell. Their programs are shit, the actors they're putting out there are shit. Everything about them is shit. However, I realized that, if NBC and CBS and ABC weren't around, the forerunners of shows would be HBO and Showtime and other channels that require a little extra on your cable bill. Doesn't sound bad, right? Without a shit ruler to compare itself to, these channels would then start to degrade in quality like the major networks have been doing. Not to mention, where would the execs from the major networks go if not to our beloved HBO and co.? It's a vicious cycle, but I'm not as vehement about shit shows like I possibly could be.

    Also, even Thomas Harris jumped the Hannibal ship with his Hannibal Rising book. I don't know whose ego got stroked to full orgasm in believing they had a shot at making this good.

  • Puddin

    "He kills them with mercy and quickly!" Well, shit, that sounds downright pleasant.

  • JC

    So, this is sort-of a Red Dragon prequel series?

  • Blake

    Could use a little Caroline Dhavernas...

  • Long_Pig_Tailorisnotloggedin

    So could I.

  • Blake

    Yes we all could...

  • Brown

    This debuts on my birthday. (pumps fist)

  • Steven, thank you. Just...thank you. ;-)

    On a side note, being a die hard fan of the original Manhunter and Red Dragon (the book) I still can't get over the Retcon on Lector and Graham. I mean, you have a psychopath (did you notice how many times they used that word) on the loose and you're asking a psychopath to help you. But we're not supposed to know he's a psychopath because he didn't try to kill Will yet and don't tell me, let me guess, the entire series will be based on them coming up against Lector's crimes and not realizing that the killer is helping them..

    See? I get so peeved I go incoherent.

    And the second I saw Laurence Fishburne, I groaned. Because of the damn CSI thing and because it felt wrong.

  • HMDK

    Did you like the book "Hannibal"?
    That's the only one I've read by Harris and it was shit. The movie based on it was widely panned, but it was actually much better than the book, which is rare. Basically, I'm asking if Harris was a good writer whose earlier works I might like before he went stupid?
    And I'm with you on the CSI shit.
    But then again, I'm STILL fucking surprised how crime scene units now carry guns, question subjects and don and doff their sunglasses to strains of The Who. It's like someone made a show called "FLIGHT ATTENDANTS!" and it was about how they piloted the plane. It's Police Academy, but dumber.

  • Maguita NYC

    I can never tell the difference between Hugh Dancy and Billy Crudup. Both seem to never age and retain that man-boy cuteness.

  • wanderlust85

    Neither can Claire Danes.

  • Maguita NYC

    I had totally forgotten the Billy Crudup/ Marie-Louise Parker debacle!!! That was beyond a douche move.

  • Kballs

    So Hannibal is so advanced that he can appreciate invisible food now? I'm not buying it.

  • HMDK

    It'd be a helluva diet.

  • emteem

    Personally, I look forward to anything Bryan Fuller does, so at least one person is looking forward to this.

  • Blake Shrapnel

    Me too. While the trailer doesn't impress me, I'll be watching because I trust Fuller's ability to create quality material.

  • Maguita NYC

    I love Mads Mikkelsen!!! He plays the ice-cold sadistic sob so perfectly, it's mesmerizing.

    The only way for NBC to make this better (freaky better) is by casting one Michael Shannon (Boardwalk Empire), as Doctor Lecter's partner in crime... Or loyal subject.

    I am definitely giving this show a try.

  • Did they retcon the story so much that they've insulted Lecter by inferring he has an accomplice? :|

  • Maguita NYC

    Every main character gets a sidekick on TV... And Lecter, no matter the original, could probably use a blindly-loyal killing machine by at least the second half of the first season... If the show ever makes it that far.

    And one thinks of zealot killing machine, one thinks of Micheal Shannon. (In my head anyways, MS freaks me out).

  • Mrs. Julien

    As I grow older, I find most things need more elephants; this yogurt, for example.

  • BlackRabbit

    Are there any NOT notorious serial killers? Like the Chess Club version?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Well, I guess there are sloppy ones. They get caught early, by local police, before they rack up much of a body count. Might not even technically qualify as serial killers in some cases. I suppose they aren't especially notorious.

    But you clearly can't build a show around catching "notorious" serial killers. They'll quickly stop being notorious and just be cases of the week.

    Also, if actual psychiatrists are so useful in catching these guys, why isn't the Criminal Minds crew made of any actual psychological professionals? Is it so hard to recruit a PhD or MD to being an FBI agent?

  • BlackRabbit

    I don't think the FBI gets paid very well. And it would suck to work all the way through your PhD and then get shot by some whacko.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Sure. And the bigger issue, even, is just that most people with those degrees you'd want to be working for the FBI don't seem to really buy into the whole profiling thing in the first place.

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