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RIP, Wes Craven's Career

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (22)

hr_My_Soul_to_Take_4.jpg

Goddamnit, Wes Craven. Whose throat do I have to cut to get a good movie out of you? You’re one of the legends of the horror genre — up there with Romero and Argento and Raimi and Carpenter. And when’s the last time you made a good horror movie? When’s the last time you made a good movie, period?

I swear to God, if any of you says Music Of The Heart I will stuff spiders in your mouth, sew it shut, and set you on fire.

Anyway. Here’s the trailer for Craven’s newest film, My Soul To Take. The title sucks, the actors look like CW cast-offs, it features some garbage nu-metal track, and it looks like it’s cobbled together from the parts of a dozen other new millennium teenage horror flicks. Oh, and it’s in 3-fucking-D. Can you tell I’m excited?

There are a couple of upsides — it’s rated R, so at least it won’t be watered down junk like Prom Night. Shareeka Epps (Half Nelson) is in it, and I’m always happy to see that she’s getting work. There seems to be some actually interesting/creepy imagery scattered amongst all the derivative dialogue and uninspired jump scares.

No. I refuse to get my hopes up, because I keep getting burned when that happens. Anyway, watch the goddamn trailer, and then mumble your useless blatherings in the comments.

Oh, and it’s one of those annoying Yahoo trailers which inexplicably auto repeats itself.









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Comments

"Goddamnit, Wes Craven. Whose throat do I have to cut to get a good movie out of you?"

For. Fucking. Real, TK. For real.

Posted by: JenVegas at August 18, 2010 11:10 AM

You're on a real CW kick today. I kind of like it.

Posted by: admin at August 18, 2010 11:17 AM

That was one fast fucking homeless dude.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at August 18, 2010 11:18 AM

Red Eye was pretty good. Pajiba even gave it a good review.

Posted by: pausner at August 18, 2010 11:19 AM

I like that kid who died in the beginning's hair.

Posted by: Nimue at August 18, 2010 11:19 AM

I will stuff spiders in your mouth, sew it shut, and set you on fire.

This is my new favorite threat ever.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at August 18, 2010 11:25 AM

That was pretty "shmeh" until about halfway through. I just feel like I've seen it before, already. Also, 3D makes me sad in my happy place, which sort of defeats the purpose of having a happy place, you know what I'm sayin'?

I just don't know about this.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at August 18, 2010 11:30 AM

I could see plumbing this for its unintentional hilarity.

Posted by: sansho1 at August 18, 2010 11:31 AM

"In the small town of _________ _________ there is a legend, a campfire story of _________, the killer who _________ years ago killed _________ _________s and then disappeared... _________ years later, a mysterious death of a _________ brings _________ _________s to the heart of the mystery... Who is _________? Does _________ kill out of anger... or vengeance??" etc etc. FUCKING MAD LIB HORROR STORIES ARE GETTING OLD.

Posted by: danny at August 18, 2010 11:37 AM

I would rather shit in my own mouth thru a purple bendy straw than watch this.

That is all.

Posted by: Corey at August 18, 2010 1:16 PM

outstanding danny

Posted by: rabbi at August 18, 2010 3:14 PM

When was the last good Argento or Romero film? Raimi just made another good one in Drag Me to Hell, but so what? None of the mainstays are producing hits on a regular basis, and the ones that are routinely making films are digging into the same wheelhouse again and again.

At least Craven takes chances. They almost always backfire, but he's trying. Plus, slashers are his strength, especially paranormal/faux-paranormal slashers. This looks good.

Posted by: Robert at August 18, 2010 4:19 PM

Not all of his movies are bad. What about Music Of The Heart?

Posted by: Craig at August 18, 2010 4:41 PM

Not all of his movies are bad. What about Music Of The Heart?

oh, you son of a bitch.

Posted by: TK at August 18, 2010 4:52 PM

Red Eye

Posted by: Milia at August 18, 2010 5:49 PM

if you want to mess with someone, mess with me...

dumb, dumb, dumb

or should i say blah, blah, blah?

Posted by: splinter at August 18, 2010 6:37 PM

"Goddamnit, Wes Craven. Whose throat do I have to cut to get a good movie out of you?"

You just answered your own question. When can we expect the first trailer for "The Torture of Wes Craven" by TK?

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 18, 2010 10:20 PM

thats the crappiest trailer i've seen in some time, and i love cheesy horror movies. i couldnt even get through the trailer, i started skipping ahead and then just turned it off.

Posted by: idleprimate at August 18, 2010 10:24 PM

Wait, isnt he the bastard son of a thousand maniacs?

Posted by: Eibmoz at August 19, 2010 2:47 AM

I'm starting to think Wes Craven was never ever good and we all just nostalgia for a simpler time in horror where you were easliy impressed. Check out imdb, it's all been garbage since Nightmare on Elm Street. All this guy can do now is remake his OWN movies and slap his name on other awful films. I will NEVER forgive him for the movie They, NEVER.
All that said, watching the movie with the sound off at work prob improved the quality of it tremendously. I'm going to go back to watching the Black Swan trailer.

Posted by: valerie at August 19, 2010 10:31 AM

The kid from Chloe? Seems like it could be halfway decent.

Posted by: HappyGobo at August 23, 2010 12:51 AM

Check out these 3 new clips for 'My Soul To Take' here: http://bit.ly/c0Xnmk

Posted by: april at October 5, 2010 6:15 PM