Pajiba

I love that an ad for a new acid-reflux medication appeared next to this article. Apparently, Twilight will burn a hole in your stomach lining.

I always knew Tony Blair was a vampire.

Actually, I read (involuntarily) somewhere that several showings nationwide are already sold out. For a movie that doesn't come out for two months. Twilighters are friggen nuts. I've read the books and snorted my way through the frist movie, (what was with all the soap-operaesque close ups?) but this a whole other level of nuts. Screaming, crying, RPattz stalking, 14-year-old goth-girl nuts.

part of me wants to read these books just to see what on earth all the hype is about

then the sane part of me jumps in with the sound logic that those actions might cause me to take my own life in despair at the evolution of American fiction and that gosh darnit I like living and it's only an hour and a half until I can flee this office for the sanctity of my newly acquired flat and I will stop having such suicidal thoughts once I break into my G+T's and crack open some quality albeit not American fiction in the form of The Count of Monte Cristo and all these silly Twilight thoughts will just dissipate on a euphoric cloud of gin and Dumas

also, I will learn about punctuation.

Goddamn I'm man-wet right now.

And just when I think I'm done with this place, you keep reeling me back in.

That was hilarious. Bravo, good sir, bravo. And hey, it answers my lingering question of what Dustin's trapper keeper looks like.

Jasper kills me. He has one expression: 'seriously pained', but it just comes across as funny. All he does is open his eyes wide and hope for the best.

I was just gonna comment on how every time I look at him, he cracks me up. It's so, so, so bad. One of the many reasons why Twilight is a brilliant comedy. This one looks like it'll be the funniest sequel of all time. Honestly, I can't wait to not pay and then see it.

oh this movie looks interesting. Is it about a race war? The white-skinned folks versus the brown-skinned ones?

My loins are acheing and you know what that means! Yep, it is going to snow tomorrow.

How's that new job at Summit Entertainment working out for you, Yossarian?

Figgy, I think it's time you re-posted the link to that livejournal review of all the Twilight books that you shared with me a couple weeks ago.

"My loins are aching and you know what that means! Yep, it is going to snow tomorrow."

Huh, barometrically sensitive loins.
Who knew.
Must be a Canadian thing.

As I did read the books (not purchased, thank you. Borrowed), I'll be
going to see the movie. I like high camp, dramatic eyebrow arching
and fancy make-up.
But I'll be going to the local '21 & up, after 10pm showings' movieplex.
That way I can me a tasty adult beverage whilst I view, and hopefully
a few less decibels of "Squeeee".

I can no longer deny my Twilightness. Continuously fed by me tweenie girls and my sex starved neighborladies. It's craptastically cheesey, but I love it.

You gotta admit, Robert Pattinson delish.

I already have my New Moon tix + 11 others (said sex starved neighborladies) for the midnight release.

I'll be waiting for the thugs to come repo my Pajibalicense.

Does Dakota Fanning owe her parents money?

I mean Michael Sheen was in the Underworld abortions, so he ...I cant deal with him right now.

But Dakota has made mostly good movie choices. DID SOMEONE SHAKE THE BABY?!

Nadine, shaking the baby only does damage if said baby is shaken by a British nanny. I was shaken constantly, but the shaker was Canadian and I turned out ooooh, a penny.

The book is like a romance novel with out the sex. Or like watching a porn without the porn (and only Fillion can make that shit work). What's the point?
You're basically left with 200+ pages of no plot and worse, no climax (I got to the end of the book and I was like, that's it? What's the literary equivalent to blue balls?) - I mean, are you going to tell me that the pinnacle of the book is the shit that goes down in Phoenix?? Really? Cuz, man, that was LAME.

It's all teenage whining (Bella, Edward, seriously, please get the fuck over yourselves) and High School Drama. And given that I am eternally grateful that I am no longer stuck in high school... actually, holy shit, do you realize that my own personal HELL would be having to be 17 forever. HOly FUCK. That's the stuff of nightmares, people.
Christ I just gave myself a headache thinking about having to be a Junior for the rest of eternity. I'm going to go take a chill pill now.

I haven't read the book. I wasn't allowed.
But I watched the film out of a morbid curiosity.
In the book, does it state explicitly that Bella is some form of Autistic?
Because based on Stewarts(who I genuinely thought was a boy in Panic Room and continued to think was a boy until she was cast in Twilight) performance, Bella has like...Aspergers, right?

Also, funniest shit that ever happened, when the Eeeeeeeeeeeevil vampires who we know are eeeeeeevil because they have long hair and dress like some kind of Hollywood variation of 'rocker', are approaching the baseball game and are...I dont even know what they where trying to do, but they have the actors walking on the spot while on a treadmill, while dragging the treadmill along very quickly, as if they're trying to create the visual effect that they're moving VERY QUICKLY WHILE WALKING AT AN APPARENTLY NORMAL PACE.
I showed the BF the other day and he laughed until he had to pee.

Jasper looks like he's trying to "smile with his eyes" for Tyra Banks. And failing miserably.

I need some feedback from the Pajibettes around here. On Oprah recently (don't ask) They had some Argentinian polo player who was listed as the 2nd most beautiful man in the world by someone, somewhere. He was definite man-candy, the go-gay for kind. 3rd on said list was Brad Pitt who has kind of lost his fastball but is still Brad Pitt. 1st was this sparkly Edward guy. Am I missing something?

Well, ed, Edward Guy's fame and the hysteria surrounding it is directly proportional to the amount of twihards that worship him. If they'd cast Danny Trejo as Edward, he'd be a sex symbol.

I personally think that Edward Guy is extremely appealing and sexy (especially when he's not in Twilight mode), and I love that he's not generic-looking, but if he hadn't starred in Twilight his fanbase wouldn't be what it is today.

That Argentinean polo guy (I think you're talking about Nacho Figueras) IS a hunk, but I wouldn't call him the preetiest. Henry Cavill is number 1 on my list.

And Brad Pitt hasn't done it for me since Troy.

They all look so cuuute in their little Hallowe'en costumes!
Man, there ain't gonna be a dry seat in the house on the this one.

Man, there ain't gonna be a dry seat in the house on the this one.

I'm hoping that all the women who go to see it bring the appropriate sanitary supplies. The last thing I need after seeing a good movie in a different theater is to slip on a twitarded snail trail in the lobby and have to go to the hospital for stitches. Nevermind trying to explain to my wife why I'd smell like sex and squee.

Stella, I am completely with you, and Lindsey and Bethy and anyone else, do yourselves a favor and do not read these wretched things.

I plodded through 2 and a half of the books - the first one to see what the fuss was about, and the next 1.5 trying to cure my "literary equivalent of blue balls" (excellent turn of phrase by the way, Stell!) I ended up shouting OH WILL YOU JUST GET IT ON ALREADY?!?!

Spoiler:

They don't. Ever. In fact I understand in Book 4 she manages to have a baby without losing her viginity.

Don't get me wrong: I love crappy mind-candy books. (I love fine literature too, for the record, but that's not the point here).

But these things are not crappy mind-candy. They're just bad.

Ohh, can't wait!
Somehow, Twilight was the only movie I've ever seen that made the whole audience all ooh and aah - collectively and loud enough to drown out the sound (even though, come to think about it, it's really not important what they say, is it...). It was like being trapped in a very awkward pajama party with everyone offering the seat neighbour some popcorn.
I was waiting for someone to freeze the film so everyone could have a pee break...
After movie after really-profound-movie (that goes with the fear of coughing or readjusting one's arse in the seat, like in church...) I could do with the aforementioned audience-vibe again now... just once. I swear.
I just wish there will be another supermassive-black-hole-like scene in it... the best 50 seconds of movie no. 1 (better yet when the picture's blanked out...).
Oh my, it's gonna be awesome. Even though Dakota way-too-old-and-my-I've-always-hated-her Fanning's in it.
And, really, Jasper on that poster reminds me a lot of Sweeney Todd combined with Jim Carrey...

By the way, did I miss that part in the book (or did I skip it? Or did I intentionally and successfully forget it?) where anything is said about these stupid-looking tattoos?
And the hair?

Padame, there is nothing about tattoos in the books. The designers had too much fun created crests for the Cullen clan and now the Volturi, so I guess they wanted to make it fair to the dog boys. As for the hair, they mention it being short for convenience, but there is no mention of douchesque styling...

What the hell happened to vampires? Why couldn't we go back to the days when they were fugly monstrosities who didn't talk, didn't glitter up, and ate the shit out of people?

Lindsey with an 'e' - you could try your local library. That's how I read 'em. They're ridiculous, but I had to finish each one because I HAD to know what stupid thing Bella was gonna do next. And I wasn't willing to pay, either.

I'm totally distracted in the first poster by the weird expression on the guy top-right. That's Jasper? He looks like he's going for Blue Steel, but he can only manage Polystyrene. As for the wolves, I agree that the second on the right is hot. I think he's the one I saw at the London Film & Comic Con - he is also sexy in the flesh.

But I still don't want to see the movie. Sure, I might enjoy it, if it's anything like as craptasticly hilarious as the first one. But I just couldn't stand the audience. Twitards scare me.

So I take it Victoria Gotti's kids are the werewolves?