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Lol trailer: Oh, I'm Laughing All Right.

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (41)

LOL_movie_photo.jpg

Hello, my bright and pretty things! I am back from a lovely vacation, where I spent the days lazing about on the beach, eating too much, drinking without thought or consequence, and enjoying the company of my wonderful family. It was three weeks of absolute paradise, sunny days and gorgeous nights. It was fantastic, and even though I’ve returned to a rather dreary New England, I’m still basking in the afterglow. It’s given me a new lease on life and a new, positive outlook. It’s made me appreciate things a little more, and made me think that perhaps — perhaps — I’ve been unkind towards you gentle readers in the past. Undeservedly so.

So I’m going to try to be a little more positive, and a little less rude, in my future endeavors on the site. Plus, Dustin says that it’s not particularly effective to berate the readership. Anyway, I’m pretty excited to be back and writing again, and I figured I’d just write that little intro, and then tackle this next trade news assignment. Let’s watch it together, shall we?

You. Worthless. Whores. Seriously? Seriously? I go through all that fucking bullshit up there and then I get stuck with this pile of walrus shit? A girl named Lol? PLAYED BY MILEY FUCKING CYRUS? I hate you. Every single one of you miserable, worm-infested fucking pukes who make me suffer through this goddamn morass of shit every day. You rancid pigs-snout-sucking fucking fetid stinking soulless braindead shitfucking twatbiters. I hope a manure truck jackknifes in front of you and buries you in shit until you fucking choke on it, and then your house burns down. THERE IS A MOVIE CALLED LOL AND NO ONE IS FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT THIS? To make matters worse, it purports to be about “the time in our lives when we discover what we stand for.” Really? At 15? I wish the younger generation would spontaneously combust and take everyone else with them.

Fuck you, fuck Dustin, and fuck this fucking pile of fucking crap.

To quote the great Janine Melnitz: I’ve quit better jobs than this.









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Comments

Nothing like a vacation afterglow.

Posted by: special snowflake at January 18, 2012 11:04 AM

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Posted by: admin at January 18, 2012 11:04 AM

Good to have you back TK.

Posted by: Zach at January 18, 2012 11:10 AM

Yay, TK's back! That post is like music to my...eyes...?

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at January 18, 2012 11:11 AM

so quit.

also, proofread.

Posted by: mandragora is at January 18, 2012 11:12 AM

I told Ashley Greene that her time was almost up and she'd better move it or lose it. I told her.

Posted by: Jay at January 18, 2012 11:12 AM

TK is back, filled with uncontrolled rage, and all is right with the world. He's like a warm from the oven chocolate chip cookie stuffed with razor blades and bile. Jeebus I'm gettin' all emotional here.

*sheds single tear of joy.

Posted by: Groundloop at January 18, 2012 11:15 AM

It warms the cockles of my heart to have you back, TK.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 18, 2012 11:15 AM

Awww. We missed you too, TK!

Posted by: MissRos at January 18, 2012 11:15 AM

I feel so refreshed.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 18, 2012 11:20 AM

Warms my cockles too-they are nowhere near my heart however. Closer to the bile duct I think.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at January 18, 2012 11:21 AM

Who are these 15-year olds who can just up and go to Paris? It seems to be a recurring theme in teen movies these days.

You know what we could afford to do when we were 15 (and we lived a lot closer to Paris than most of you)? We could scrape together the cash for the DART into town to sit in Bewleys all afternoon over a couple of cups of coffee and we thought we were having the time of our lives.

And when I did finally get to Paris (at 17, on the ferry, staying in a hostel), it wasn't to swan around the pricey boutiques. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 18, 2012 11:26 AM

Sounds like you missed us too.

Posted by: , at January 18, 2012 11:35 AM

Seriously. Paris! Sure! Good to know that the main character is rich as shit so her problems can seem even more insignificant.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 18, 2012 11:40 AM

One vacation = two paragraphs.

That's pretty damn good for TK, actually.

Posted by: Alabaster Salamander at January 18, 2012 11:44 AM

I do like the idea of using internet abbreviations as titles in vapid teen movies.
Lea Michelle plays a teen with a comedy-induced gluteal deficiency in LMAO.
Channing Tatum rushes to make his way back to New York to fulfill a promise in BRB.
Cam Gigandet plays a heartsick clown pursuing a rotorcraft license in ROFLCOPTER.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 18, 2012 11:46 AM

Say what you want about the film, but the son of a bitch editor who managed to drag that trailer out nearly 2 minutes should be filleted like a fish.

Posted by: Celery Man at January 18, 2012 11:57 AM

Money walks, dude. Go vent your vitriol on these beings in a physical way. That I would appreciate even more. Infact I would split my sides laughing as you smashed Cyrus's face into the side of the beautifully solid brige they're infesting. And then I'd feel sorry for the brick that bore the brunt of Miley Cyrus's face and would now also have to deal with all the other bricks taunting it for years for taking the brunt of Miley Cyrus's face. And then I'd stop feeling sorry for it, because if you took all those heads up there and smashed them from all directions into mine, leaving me with a Drive-Elevator-Scene style husk, I'd feel nothing but pride for the part my skull had played in the history of human culture.

Also, welcome back.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 18, 2012 12:05 PM

15? All those people can drink legally and have kids.

Posted by: logan at January 18, 2012 12:47 PM

And also, the new CBS dramedy about Supreme Court Justices and their crazy antics behind the scenes. It's IMHO.

From Fox Searchlight pictures this Summer, Lindsey Lohan is a teen superstar whose life is upturned when a crazed leader of a censorship group turns murderous stalker in STFU.

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 18, 2012 1:34 PM

On the header photo, Miley Cyrus looks like she needs be scrubbed down in a tub--really, she looks dirty.

Posted by: True_Blue at January 18, 2012 1:50 PM

This movie looks like what afterbirth must taste like.

Posted by: the other courtney at January 18, 2012 1:51 PM

With you, Paddy. When I was 15, we took the bus to the mall. Paris, my ass.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 18, 2012 2:01 PM

What makes this even worse is that they copied it almost exactly from the French film of the same name...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-deBkirN8s

Posted by: Annika at January 18, 2012 2:06 PM

hahahahahahaha

Posted by: Tracey at January 18, 2012 2:21 PM

NateS1973 and Optimus Ryhme win an internet each.

And thanks, Annika, for mentioning those one-and-a-half-hours that I wasted watching the "original" movie. It was very, very French. I hated it. A lot. And the American version looks even worse. (How did they even manage that? Oh wait, Miley Cyrus. And Demi Moore instead of Sophie Marceau is also a step in the wrong direction...)

Posted by: Rooks at January 18, 2012 2:25 PM

Wait five minutes... now imagine all the entertainment we'll get out of watching all the parent groups flip their shits over "little girl role model" Miley being in this kind of film.

Also I want to punch all of those characters in the face.

Also welcome back, TK.

Posted by: MrFroggie at January 18, 2012 3:02 PM

(You know...it's kinda hard to comment on a movie named L O L if you aren't allowed to type L O L. Just sayin)

I'd LAUGH OUT LOUD too if I could bounce around Paris with my best friends in the worse economy in 80 years. I know it's about fantasy and whatever, but this bullshit isn't Dynasty, THEY'RE 15! And who lets there 15 year old daughters go to the city of romance alone? Oh yeah, Billy Ray, the man who thought it was a good idea to dress the YOUNGER daughter as a prostitute for Halloween.

Maybe if we pray real hard, do a synchronized Tebow or something, maybe an Arab sheik will have them abducted for his pleasure. Oh right, he only wants virgins. Where's that Purity ring now?!

Posted by: Protoguy at January 18, 2012 3:12 PM

Love that "look at her underwear she looks like a slut" (paraphrasing, not watching that again) comment coming from Miley Cyrus. She who often wears no underwear and/or way more revealing things.

Posted by: io at January 18, 2012 3:43 PM

Ah. I never thought I'd enjoy being called a worthless whore, but...it's like Christmas, with a foul-mouthed Santa.

Fuck if I'm watching that trailer though.

Posted by: Joker at January 18, 2012 4:48 PM

Call me shallow ("You're shallow), but she is almost comically, aggressively ugly. I can't look at her -- she's a teenage cabbage patch twerp. God help us all.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 18, 2012 5:00 PM

It's like they're trying to muscle the cute kid actor right through her ugly teen years and hope she can keep it going without burning out.

Posted by: Protoguy at January 18, 2012 5:27 PM

Anyone remember a few years back when it was pointed out that most of the cars, clothes and apartments that teenaged/early 20's movie characters were depicting having meant they were either trust fund babies or secret lottery winners because there was no way in hell they could afford these things as waitstaff, interns, students or other menial paying jobs? This is kinda like that.

Hey, I'd like to live in a penthouse suite overlooking Central Park while waiting for my new Audi to be detailed so I can pick up my Armani from the cleaners before I can bitch to my friends about how my job at the Cup O'Mud Cafe sucks ass so we can have an impromptu road trip or weekend out of the country to feel better. Because you know that happens all the time.

Either there is a serious element to the story being left out or the writers are VERY lazy. And for that matter, even if they did have that kind of money at their disposal, I really can't picture parents just letting their 15 year-old go globetrotting to "find themselves". Rest assured, if some little puke took my daughter to Paris, I'd be retrieving her Toot Sweet, and be making a quick detour somewhere over to Turkey on the way back.

Posted by: bleujayone at January 18, 2012 6:25 PM

The sad thing is, it's not even the first movie to be named "L O L." Joe Swanberg's second twee mumblecore "LOOK, A PENIS!" movie was named "L O L," way back in 2006.

Posted by: Craig at January 18, 2012 6:46 PM

I missed you TK!!! Well at least your vitriol. I don't actually KNOW you well enough...ah damn it I'm quibbling. Glad you and your acid tongue are back.
Plus, this looks like shit. "A film about breaking free." What the hell is she "breaking free" from?

Posted by: Four Eyes at January 18, 2012 7:07 PM

What makes this even worse is that they copied it almost exactly from the French film of the same name...

Posted by: Annika at January 18, 2012 2:06 PM

In fact, the American remake was written and directed by the same woman as the French movie, Lisa Azuelos.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 18, 2012 9:10 PM

Ugh that "text on the screen" stuff is awful. I saw a very creepy Aussie movie that utilised it to some degree but I didn't focus too much on it when there was all the teenage murder/sexual assault/sociopathic bullying revenge plots to keep track of. I feel like it would be much more grating in this film.

Posted by: SAS at January 19, 2012 1:44 AM

I really can't picture parents just letting their 15 year-old go globetrotting to "find themselves".
---
Three words:

Van. Der. Sloot.

Posted by: , at January 19, 2012 2:20 AM

TK! I was waiting for Pajiba to post this trailer and I'm ever so glad you did.

Posted by: Jem at January 19, 2012 4:13 AM

You know, based on the French film, by the same title, this could have been Miley's Havoc, but instead they decided to turn it into yet another over-privileged, two feet out of reality, teen "love" story. If only the world had better taste.

Posted by: Oh What a World at January 19, 2012 8:49 AM

So it's not a tween concert movie with Miley Cyrus, Avril LaVeen, Blake Lively and that High school musical chick?

Posted by: Phat girl at January 19, 2012 1:24 PM