A couple months ago, I wrote about the trailer for Bitch Slap, a film that at the time looked to be alone in its quest to be the dumbest piece of exploitative ball-squeezing filmmaking in 2009. It’s clear now that I spoke too soon, for another film has joined the race. I speak of the not very deceptively titled Lesbian Vampire Killers. (Dangling modifier issues notwithstanding, I am almost completely sure that the movie is about people who kill lesbian vampires, not lesbians who slay vampires. I suppose that Killers of Female Vampires Who Are Definitely Into Each Other, You Know, Sexually; The Vampires, That Is would have cleared things up a bit, but it lacks a certain punch, you know?)
There’s not much I can add to the title except to say that this looks flat-out dumb, and tailor-made for drinking games when it hits DVD sometime this fall after a theatrical bow in the U.K. this spring.
See, but that's just pretend lesbianism as you all have your pillow fights while in your panties and stuff (something I assume happens ANYTIME women are alone in any room).
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 6, 2009 9:45 AM
The narrator's emphasis on "GET STUCK IN!" is poetic. Brilliant, really. I never would have thought to take it in such a douchey direction, but I suppose he wanted to keep the same tone as the rest of the voice over work.
Also, Carlson, this doesn't count as an actual trailer if it was made in Skitz's basement. Get your shit straight and comeback to me when you have genuinely believable random pseudo-smut. Like Gay Zombie Porn.
I'm hosting movie night at my place. It will include screenings of Zombie Strippers, Lesbian Vampire Killers, Donkey Punch and Sofia's home movies of the Catholic School Slumber Party.
We'll have popcorn and chips and pop and non-alcoholic beer.
And liquor, lots and lots of liquor. I'm buying.
Posted by: admin at January 6, 2009 9:48 AM
Sofia: For serious? I went to an all-boys catholic school, and we never had the male equivalent of shit like that. I'm thinking I went to the wrong school.
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at January 6, 2009 9:49 AM
I think it's safe to say the intricacies and fine nuances of the lesbian vampire genre are lost on the general public. Yes, some bazongas are going to be unhurled at the screen; tongues shall go to places where they aren't supposed to go in the public eye; and innocent straight girls with even bigger magambos will be indoctrined into the cult and have those straining buttons pop off of their heaving...
You know what? I lost where I was going with this.
I never could understand why a sexy woman wouldn't want to eat out another sexy woman.
Posted by: Pookie at January 6, 2009 9:50 AM
BSlim, does it really matter if it's fake or not? I remember catholic sleepaway camp, and as a counselor, we got down and dirty in a very lesbionic way; just because it didn't last doesn't mean it wasn't awesome.
So B Slimmy Slim, if Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell are alone in a room you automatically assume....
Posted by: admin at January 6, 2009 9:54 AM
Pooks, I'm not a vagitarian.
Posted by: Kayanne at January 6, 2009 9:56 AM
It's an old formula:
* British comedy duo make film based on national good-will towards said couple.
(See also - Ant and Dec, Mitchell and Webb).....
* The film gargles balls quality-wise.
* Fails badly
* Working Title come to the rescue of the British film industry with another misanthropic/misogynstic/trite piece of shit more than likely from the pen of Richard Curtis.
* Despite lacking any redemptive quality, the film succeeds internationally.
* Richard Curtis given more work.
* I weep salty tears.
Posted by: KC at January 6, 2009 9:59 AM
I can't decide who I love more between Sofia and Marra. I can't chose. Girls, can't we all just wrestle in pudding together as the Godtopus intended?
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 6, 2009 10:13 AM
I've seen the two british comedians this stars like, they're ...not unfunny.
They're two of the most popular comedians at the minute despite the painful dullness of the show that made their name(the name of the show is lost to me) which is, as KC said, why they've made this film, or been offered it, which ever.
I..sort of hate Quentin Tarantino and to a lesser degree(because Planet Terror rocks my socks)for making this Exploitation shit seem viable again, the bad ass, bazooka boobed babe is not...clever or forward thinking or even that sexy.
Please, Film Makers. Please. Stop.
Posted by: nadine at January 6, 2009 10:13 AM
Wow! They did it! They topped Snakes on a Plane!
My screenplay for Sofia's Catholic School Slumber Party is sure to get picked up know!
Posted by: George at January 6, 2009 10:13 AM
Why eat a girl out when you can squeeze her boobs hello?
Sorry, my boss is nearby having an incredibly boring meeting about online banner ads for a hard copy banner company so i fell asleep at the keyboard
Posted by: nadine at January 6, 2009 10:15 AM
Why would anyone want to kill lesbian vampires? Like Prop 8 wasn't enough, more fucking discrimination.
Posted by: Catag at January 6, 2009 10:16 AM
Why can't the lesbians just let the gays have vampires. They made a much stronger bid for them with Interview With The Vampire.
Posted by: becks at January 6, 2009 10:20 AM
For serious?
Well....that's the question, isn't it!
Robert, I'd imagine it's just easier and safer to hang out with Hammer and not worry about these devilish headgames the Paheebans get up to. I'm not sure what to recommend to Jeremy though.
Could be both parties are lesbians and the vampire hunting lesbians are trying to kill the vampire lesbians because eating another girl out is how you turn a girl into a vampire.
And yes, topless pillow fights are required. Perhaps that's how you weaken one before you stake 'em?
Posted by: Jim at January 6, 2009 10:27 AM
I'm with Sofia.
When I was a tween, looking at photos of nekkid women in Playboy got me really turned on. Photos of nekkid men in Playgirl was just gross.
I have no interest in touching real women, it's just women are more attractive to look at.
Hey Pookie? Are you really a lesbian, because most of the ones I know look like men, only without the crotch puppet?
Posted by: BWeaves at January 6, 2009 10:28 AM
See, Vampire Lesbians don't need to transform other girls into Vampires, because Vampire Lesbians still get their periods. They suck each other once a month for a week and then they're done. Craving more blood would just be greedy.
Admin, you didn't tell me you gained the rights to "Sofia's Catholic School Slumber Party". If this is true, we could release this in December for awards consideration!
Kayanne, I think that a sexy woman knows damn well she wants to eat out another sexy woman. However, society has made them think that is it is a bad thing. I just wish that they would own that shit, just as I have had to own my shit. This would be a better world if women acknowledge their inner freakdom.
Posted by: Pookie at January 6, 2009 10:34 AM
Sofia, I would like you to know that I may name my next child after you. You are a true inspiration.
So....can Mike R. and I release your feature length film. I promise it will be tastefully done. (No it won't)
Posted by: admin at January 6, 2009 10:36 AM
Well, Sofía's Catholic School Slumber Party begins with recent footage and progressively goes back to my high school years. I got caught up in this whole Benjamin Button craze and decided to make a story about a vagina that ages backwards. The down side: the breasts get smaller.
"I never could understand why a sexy woman wouldn't want to eat out another sexy woman"
Pookie, I have no idea how any person with or without a pulse wouldn't want to use their tongue on Portia de Rossi for the sole purpose of self gratification. Serious. Even the gayest zombie ever killed would have a hard time resisting Portia tied up and naked.
Posted by: Xtreme at January 6, 2009 10:39 AM
I'm holding out for "Taint Fighter: The Musical."
Posted by: Lucas at January 6, 2009 10:43 AM
Killers of Female Vampires Who Are Definitely Into Each Other, You Know, Sexually; The Vampires, That Is
Carlson, I like your title way better. I'd actually pay money to see that movie. Though I assume that version would be written by somebody else.
Here are two new phrases I learned today: vagitarian (thanks Kayanne) and crotch puppet (thanks BWeaves). I shall attempt to insinuate them into daily conversation.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 6, 2009 10:45 AM
Well, Sofía's Catholic School Slumber Party begins with recent footage and progressively goes back to my high school years. I got caught up in this whole Benjamin Button craze and decided to make a story about a vagina that ages backwards. The down side: the breasts get smaller.
I can see the press synopsis now: "A touching, sensitive journey through womanhood in reverse."
::cue violins and credits intercut with action scenes montage::
Smell that? That's an Oscar.
(Oh, and I can't watch the trailer at work, but I find it hard to believe that Lesbian Vampire Killers would EVER top the watershed masterpiece of vampire fiction "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter".)
Stop ruining the fun nadine, it's a fucking movie! It's a fucking fantasy! If we behaved the way movies show us, the world would be filled with half naked chicks, Michael Bay explosions, and all men would look like Jason Stanthan.
Come to think of it, that would be fucking awesome!
Posted by: George at January 6, 2009 10:49 AM
See, Vampire Lesbians don't need to transform other girls into Vampires, because Vampire Lesbians still get their periods. They suck each other once a month for a week and then they're done. Craving more blood would just be greedy.
Sofia, it's not about greed. It's the thrill of the chase. The most dangerous game and all of that. Besides, wouldn't a coven of vampire lesbians start cycling together and wind up ripping each other to ribbons over who gets to eat the others first?
"A touching, sensitive journey through womanhood in reverse."
Heehee, that sounds so dirty, Mike R.
And Pooks & Xtreme, just because I'm not into (literally and figuratively) the ladies, it doesn't mean I'm afraid of my "freakdom."
Portia de Rossi is very purdy, though. I bet she smells nice, too.
Posted by: Kayanne at January 6, 2009 11:00 AM
Thank you Xtreme, you seem to understand what I'm saying. I don't know anything about you but I've noticed you think just like I do, I've been a distant admirer of your work. I might want to introduce you to some people that I know, and if you handle yourself the right way good things can come from it.
Posted by: Pookie at January 6, 2009 11:02 AM
Here are two new phrases I learned today: vagitarian (thanks Kayanne) and crotch puppet (thanks BWeaves). I shall attempt to insinuate them into daily conversation.
Just for kicks, AvB, see if "cocknivore" catches on.
Posted by: branded at January 6, 2009 11:09 AM
Kayenne you seem to be a nice person but it is obvious that you have a blockage somewhere in your psyche that will not allow you to seek your inner desires to be with a woman. You can't tell me that the thought of a sexy woman using her tongue on you does not turn you on.
Posted by: Pookie at January 6, 2009 11:09 AM
admin,
Time? Day? Location?
I'll bring a cheese ball.
Posted by: bucdaddy at January 6, 2009 11:13 AM
See if "Cockersseur" catches on.
Posted by: Pookie at January 6, 2009 11:14 AM
Why eat a girl out when you can squeeze her boobs hello?
Why stress yourself with a choice? Unless that choice be 'all of the above (and below).'
Posted by: Rykker at January 6, 2009 11:34 AM
God damn! I go to the gym and come back, and it's an all out hypothetical sexfest without me?
I would like to see Sofia's film, but with a lesbian vampire overtone. Make it happen! And Tracer, you don't have to chose. Sofia and I can share.
Posted by: Marra at January 6, 2009 11:36 AM
Well damn, didn't this page blow up while I was struggling to get that guy's resume to print correctly.
I think Pookie does us no favors. Convincing a woman to become a lesbian is not going to make a man's life more enjoyable. There's plenty of professionally staged 2-D lesbian titillation to enjoy at a distance and know where you stand (and the point is that you stand outside of it, because the point is that a man is not involved). But then, I'm not interested in multiple partners anyway, so I certainly wouldn't want to roll the dice on "maybe I'll score me a bisexual three-way!". Look what happened to George Costanza, that's where that kind of thinking is gonna get you! Me, I'd kinda like a woman to be attracted to....me, for whatever strange reason she might be. So let's help keep straight girls straight! We're savin our own lives!
Hmm...Marra is right. Sofia's Catholic Schoolgirl Vampire Slumber Party Chronicles does make for a more interesting conceit. Any objections from the board?
I said "listen there you lesbian left-handed midget Eskimo albino! You stop right there!"
And she bit me!
I'm afraid I'm gonna...I'm gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget Eskimo albino when the moon is full.
Oh my god, the moon is full tonight!
I can feel myself shrinkin! I can feel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself....getting the urge to build an igloo! I can feel my skin gettin white, my eyes turnin red!
I can feel.......I can feel the urge.......TO BUY A SUZANNE VEGA ALBUUUUM!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Place: The frozen prairie wasteland known as Saskatchewan. (on Sunday it was -42 Fahrenheit)
Date: It should coincide with Pajibacon (mmm bacon). I'm not going, and that shit is depressing.
Time: Shall we say 9:00am, the cocktail hour?
I love cheese ball, bring two. I'll get the crackers and Shlitz'.
Mike R., that shit is a go. As an added benefit, Hollywood will immediately implode due to its righteous glory.
Posted by: admin at January 6, 2009 12:05 PM
I'd be happy to provide original scoring for Sofia's Lesbian Catholic Schoolgirl Vampire Slumber Party Chronicles. I'm thinking rock organ harmonies following the strictest rules of counterpoint and ending every song with the V-I, or A-Men, cadence (pretty much required in all Catholic music). Theremin will be added to spice up and spook out the slow bits, naturally. Fill it in with some smooth jazz motifs to play to the high brow crowd, and we've covered everyone.
I have no urge to see the movie but I consider the trailer a masterpiece of schlock, emphasized by the shocking pink James Bondian type font simultaneously flagellating the plot and the viewers' eyeballs. Very retro, very snigger-worthy.
Posted by: NeoCleo at January 6, 2009 12:49 PM
-- Smell that? That's an Oscar.
Posted by: Mike R. at January 6, 2009 10:46 AM
Does Oscar smell like cod?
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 6, 2009 1:05 PM
"Bored now."
Vamp!Willow is still the first lesbian vampire killer in my heart.
Posted by: stipe42 at January 6, 2009 1:06 PM
Does Oscar smell like cod?
Only if you use him every day for a week and don't wash him afterwards.
Posted by: stipe42 at January 6, 2009 1:09 PM
Sofia, I went to an all girls catholic boarding school. I never knew the many uses of test-tubes until then. Just an idea for your film...add the creative use of lab equipment and I'm sold.
See now...I thought that it was about lesbian killers who are also vampires. I'm not sure why the men would want to kill the hot lesbian vampires. Wouldn't any man gladly die of exsanguination just for the chance to behold the glory of lesbian vampire sex?
Posted by: Joker at January 6, 2009 1:25 PM
Pookie, I'm not sure whether to be honored or frightened. But I find myself honored nonetheless. And I'd be privileged/scared to meet these "people" you're referring to.
Is there any chance that one of them is Portia? That'd be really swollen. I mean swell. Yeah, that's it, swell.
Posted by: Xtreme at January 6, 2009 1:25 PM
"I'm not one of them vagitarians, I'm a cocknivore. A cockersseur, if you will. I like me some crotch puppet."
Yep. Sounds like something I'd say.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 6, 2009 1:28 PM
I dream of a society where Lesbian Vampires and Lesbians who kill Lesbian Vampires can become friends... and lovers for my sexual gratification.
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 6, 2009 2:05 PM
I cannont wait to watch this trailer with sound. You really can't go wrong with a movie whose title sums up the plot. But only in an 'I'm watching this at 2am because I'm an insomniac' kind of way.
Jay, thank you, I had missed the dildo slapping reference, but after you pointed it out I found it. Phew! But I'd have to argue against the theory of a dildo being a prop. I understand that it falls into the actual definition; I think it would depend on the usage. For example, would the prosthetic appendage of a porn star count as a prop? I don't think it should, just like implants don't. Therefore, depending on how the dildo is portrayed in the film it could be an extension of the Lesbian Vampire. Or was it Lesbian Vampire Killer? Either or both, whatever.
And Sofia, thank you for the mental image.
Posted by: Xtreme at January 6, 2009 2:37 PM
...as weary and dubious as Jarvis Cocker
Yay! a Pulp reference!
Sorry, the music posts are white noise to me, all the cool kids talking about their cool music that I've never heard of. So I perk up and overcompensate like a nervous intern on too much espresso whenever music references dribble down to my knowledge base.
Posted by: stipe42 at January 6, 2009 2:48 PM
Daniel - until I read your intro to the trailer, I absolutely interpreted the title to mean that the vampire killers were lesbians, not that the vampires were lesbians. Who'd want to kill a lesbian vampire anyway?
Posted by: tamatha at January 6, 2009 2:55 PM
What was it Belle and Sebastian said about girls going with girls... "At Least they know where to put it"
But along with what Jay said, I don't know if I could handle a threesome. I mean, imagine having to quarterback a situation like that. I assume I'd be looked to for some kind of direction and I don't know if I could handle the pressure.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
Stuart did indeed say that, and from what I've heard it got pretty hard to find a straight-up straight girl in Glasgow (and his early lyrics sure depressedly sound like it). He had to marry an American in the end. Tough times.
But yes, that goes in there then that goes in there and that goes in there...I know how they do. Can't wait five minutes to break out the instruments, and here I thought we came here to ignore That Which Is Not Woman, now there's a buncha plastic shit blocking the view of Woman and a buncha angry...wielding. All this yelling and manual labor and...yeah, I'm really glad I'm watching this (again, holding not a candle to Ingrid Pitt and Yutte Stensgaard. Not at all. Those ladies had class, and no toys). I know I'm also not the only person to say "hey, if you find strap-on fellatio exciting in the heat of your own moment, fine. But don't film it cause it just looks ridiculous".
Pooks, honestly, I can say that I'm not interested. I prefer the company of men in pretty much every sense.
Jay & Rhyme thanks for sticking up for cocknivore ladies! Also, it's good to know that while we're friends, neither of you would try to "joke" about a threesome between you me and your lady of the moment. But you'd wait a beat to see how I reacted and then when I gave you confused silenced with a cocked eyebrow for a second, you'd be all like, "Hahaha, I was just kidding... Unless... Hahaha, no, kidding again!" Yea, some boys are weird.
And Pooks, why is it a crime that I find men sexier than women?
Posted by: Kayanne at January 6, 2009 4:38 PM
Well, I'm not going to try and speak for Pookie on this one Kayanne, but I can tell you personally that I don't think it's a crime that hetero women find men sexier than other women, quite the opposite. I prefer that women be more attracted to men, but that's just me. What I've never been able to figure out is a) why anyone finds naked men attractive at all, and b) why everyone doesn't find naked women attractive. Women are just so damned great, that's all! Best thing ever. Hands down. Except the big, hairy, smelly and rude kind, no one likes them. Being big, hairy, and smelly is one thing, but being rude is completely inexcusable. Even I have limits. Not damned many, but there it is.
Posted by: Xtreme at January 6, 2009 5:08 PM
Xtreme, thank you. Although I must say that I have no problem admitting when a woman is beautiful/hot/lovely/etc. It's just I'm more physically attracted to men, hence why I find men sexier. Sure a naked lady is great, but it doesn't do anything for me. Many apologies to Pooks.
I think the thing about the male form that I find sexy is that it's so different from my own. Which is why I prefer guys that look like guys. All of you whiny little emo boys in your girl jeans and flat-ironed hair make my heart sick. Mostly because you wear size 2 girl jeans, which makes me think my ass is fat.
Posted by: Kayanne at January 6, 2009 5:42 PM
Kayanne, any time. And for the record, be careful when admitting members of the same sex are beautiful/hot/lovely/etc. Because for guys, that's like saying "how about just a backrub?". We know it's just a backrub, but we still get excited. Why? Pavlovian conditioning is my guess. Once a guy gets lucky with the backrub technique, it is forever skewed for him that backrub = nookie. Example: I was driving home from work last summer past a golf course near my house, and damned if they weren't doing that hole-in-one competition in which they give away a car. And damned if there wasn't a young barely dressed girl on the roof of said car, and the wind just happened to gust, and there she was, almost naked, spread-eagled on the roof of this car right beside me. Luckily for me the traffic was light, so I didn't have to explain in court why I was in the wrong lane. But to this day, everytime I drive that strip of road I look over. It's -40 outside, and I still look. Pavlovian conditioning my friends. It works.
Posted by: Xtreme at January 6, 2009 6:01 PM
Xtreme is right, it is the equivilant of "just a backrub". I don't understand how men can be seen as attractive, just doesn't fly.
By the way Sofia, I finished the script, it's about 10 pages of dialouge, some directions on what to put what where, and a lot of naked improv. I've taken heed from the masters, Jesse Jane, Sasha Grey, Jenna Jameson, there all being adhered to.
Posted by: George at January 6, 2009 6:19 PM
I agree with the people who thought the title was like Natural Born Killers: all three words are meant to describe the monsters. (Natural Born Killers is missing a hyphen, of course.) They're lesbians, they're vampires, and they're killers, and anyone who says that a vampire is automatically a killer has never played a vampire RPG where the rules are that a) draining X amount of blood from a victim won't kill them and b) killing your victims causes moral degeneration in your character and c) moral degeneration is generally a bad thing, gameplay-wise.
Posted by: Shadowen at January 6, 2009 6:28 PM
Hey, I'm lookin out for myself too, Kayanne. After all, like Xtreme, I don't agree with you at all, but I certainly don't want to argue. The lesbian vampires would just make me think "great...I'm dead....and rejected. Well my day's basically shot". Drag, huh?
On the other hand, I don't think straight women's slash gets a lot of publicity, but I've seen that "Band of Brothers" slash. There's a whole community. Dirty, dirty girls.
And damned if there wasn't a young barely dressed girl on the roof of said car, and the wind just happened to gust, and there she was, almost naked, spread-eagled on the roof of this car right beside me.
Windy outdoor porn on the roof of a car with golf clubs?
What you have to understand is that men fetishize anything. Not (just) because we are perverts, but because of the way memory works. An original experience sparks the neurons differently than ever before, and nothing is as exhilarating as something new: jokes are funniest the first time, stories resonate most on the first telling, your stomach falls most at that first smile from a girl.
Even as the experience diminishes though, we retell our favorite jokes, reread our favorite stories, and (oh yes) still live for a smile from our wives. When we remember, we don't just see things again statically, our neurons actually fire the same way as they did the first time through. The fetish exists to prod that memory harder than thought alone.
Posted by: stipe42 at January 6, 2009 6:39 PM
As soon as I saw the title to this movie, I thought that it was going to be a true story based on happenings in my home town during the 80s. "WTF" I hear you ask? Well, in the late 80s in Brisbane, Australia, a bunch of girls who were lesbians happened to also be vampires. One of them, Tracey Wigginton, was convicted of murdering a man in order to drink his blood. For all those lawyers/law students out there, you know how sometimes in an exam when you're trying to quote a case and the name of it evades you so you write "snail in can of drink case"? Well, the Wiggington case was always known as the "lesbian vampire killer case", and I wrote that on my criminal law exam. So... hence I thought that this might be a legal thriller, or biography, or... historical Brisbane piece.
Posted by: JJ McCLay at January 6, 2009 6:49 PM
Australia should use this for tourism advertising...
"Australia, the only country in the world where 'Lesbian Vampire Killers' could be a historical legal thriller."
It sure beats the ones for Mexico I see late at night "Mexico, it's nicer than you think."
Seriously, I'm not making that up.
Posted by: stipe42 at January 6, 2009 6:54 PM
Hopefully this will do well and they will transform my favorite play into a movie. Charles Busch's Vampire Lesbians of Sodom.
"One of the longest running plays in Off-Broadway history, "Vampire Lesbians of Sodom" tells the saga of two fatally seductive vampiresses whose paths first collide in ancient Sodom. Their bitter rivalry as bloodsuckers but more importantly, as actresses, endures for two thousand years with stops along the way in 1920's silent movie Hollywood and contemporary Las Vegas."
If Hollywood is going to steal from Broadway this is the route they should take, fuck mamma mia.
Posted by: LwoodPDowd at January 6, 2009 7:18 PM
Dear men who wonder why we find your naked bodies sexy:
First, amend that to include being hard. Much sexier that way. Then recognize that you are extremely fun toys (when hard) with big hands that fit nicely on our curvy places. Add in the fact that your muscles tend to show rather nicely, especially when you're all laid out that way, waiting to be a fun toy, and you pretty much have the reason why we find naked (hard) men sexy.
Providing, of course, that we couldn't beat you at wrestling - which also explains why emo boys are NOT sexy. I don't want some pouty thing I could snap like a twig - which might also explain why supermodels don't seem sexy to me, even if I did swing that way.
Posted by: Reba at January 6, 2009 8:01 PM
See, now, I also love skinny little emo boy bodies. I also love pseudo-Mr. vB's big furry belly and ridiculously skinny chicken legs right along with his great big broad shoulders, just in a different way than I love, as per example, Vin Diesel's big ol' hairless hard muscleyness.
I just love the mens, is what I'm saying. Mmm mmm mens.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 6, 2009 8:10 PM
Different strokes, Anna. When I was younger, the hairless boys did it for me. Then I started hanging out with stunt men. 'Nuff said.
Posted by: Reba at January 6, 2009 8:26 PM
C'mon, Paheebans. Time to take the stakes out of your twats. This looks RAD!!!
Posted by: Jesus Harold C. at January 6, 2009 11:02 PM
Sadly most lesbians don't look like that, they are more K.D. Lang/Rosie O'Donell types, and they drive Subarus.