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God Hates Us All

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (65)

64273_legion_2010_0_thumb.jpg

Ho.

Lee.

Shit.

Step one in creating a badass, “angels vs. humans because God is pissed the fuck off at mankind” movie: Cast Paul Bettany. Then, let’s stop fucking around — go ahead and cast Dennis Quaid, Charles S. Dutton and Kevin Durand, because that motherfucker is creepy. Then fill it with messed up visuals — old grandmas biting throats out and climbing up walls, hordes of winged attackers, swarms of bugs, guns galore, and what do you have?

Scott Stewart’s Legion, aka, “TK’s newest geekgasm.” Here’s the newest trailer, in all it’s red band glory.

Whaddaya think, kiddies? Good time?

Yeah, me too. Hurry up and git, 2010.







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Comments

That has to be the longest trailer I have ever seen. In fact, did I just watch the whole movie? May as well have.

Not sure about this one. Doesn't look like anything particularly new. Another child that's humanity's only hope (cough John Connor cough) and a protector, but throw in some angels for an attempt at variety.

The special effects with the swearing grandma were a bit shaky too.

But, you know, I'm keeping an open mind.

Posted by: Carrie at August 13, 2009 10:16 AM

I just hope Alanis Morissette and the Goo Goo Dolls are on the soundtrack.

Posted by: TSF at August 13, 2009 10:18 AM

I had to watch without sound, but YES YES YES. This looks so badass.

Posted by: Julie at August 13, 2009 10:22 AM

Aaaagh! Creepy ice cream man! Gaahhah!

I too watched with no sound. But as soon as lunch rolls around? Oh, yeah. Sound's going up & I'm watching it again. Or maybe when I get home. That's probably a better idea.

So is this a comic book movie?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 13, 2009 10:30 AM

Oh Paul Bettany, I hope you paid for a very nice home with this. Or possibly a yacht.

Posted by: twig at August 13, 2009 10:35 AM

My love for Paul Bettany knows no shame or boundaries so wheeeeeeeee! Congratz, you turned me into a squeaky 5yo. Hope TK will join me, eating mudpies is fun.

Posted by: Irina at August 13, 2009 10:37 AM

Holy shit, that looks awesome. I am definitely not a religious person, but I admit to having a deep and secret love for all things supernatural or occult involving Christianity. I'm weird like that.

Posted by: Snath at August 13, 2009 10:49 AM

At first, I was like, "Fuck yeah!"
Then I saw Tyrese, and I was like, "Meh."

We'll see.

Posted by: Courtie at August 13, 2009 10:53 AM

Oh wait, so he is Archangel Michael fighting Archangel Gabriel so Christ can be born again? Can't they make an old fashioned zombie movie and leave it at that anymore? Guess I'll just watch 28 Days Later again...

Posted by: Irina at August 13, 2009 10:54 AM

Okay wait a damn minute. I knew that Bettany was going to play the lead in Priest, the movie adaptation of that Korean comic, but I had no idea that Priest and Legion were both directed by Scott Stewart.

Excuse me, what? He's doing two Christian/fantasy/horror films in 2010, both starring Paul Bettany?

Does anyone else think that is really weird?

Posted by: Snath at August 13, 2009 10:55 AM

We can now forgive Dennis Quaid for G.I. Joe. Count me in!

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at August 13, 2009 10:58 AM

I think I just saw Dennis Quaid die. And this movie looks kind of cheezy, like a SciFi Channel movie, like Mansquito.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at August 13, 2009 11:03 AM

Why do the angels have wings? They don't have wings in my bible, just swords.

And if they're going to have a potty mouthed grandma biting people's necks, it damn well better be Betty White, or I'm out.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 13, 2009 11:14 AM

I love Paul Bettany, and this looks fairly expensive and fun -- but when it comes to avenging angels/holy war movies, they're going to have a hard time topping Christopher Walken and The Prophecy. A fantastic guilty-pleasure flick. Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas, and Viggo Mortensen as Satan (5 minutes and he practically steals the flick from Walken). Plus Adam Goldberg and Amanda Plummer being weird, another B-movie Eric Stoltz performance, cannabalism and what I assume is the bastardization of any number of Native American traditions.

Also, Steve Hytner, doing the best autopsy review ever.

Long live campy great bad movies.

Posted by: Louise at August 13, 2009 11:16 AM

Didn't Demi Moore already have The Baby That Will Save Us All? The Seventh Sign, or something like that?

Posted by: Louise at August 13, 2009 11:19 AM

Then you've gotta stop buying imported Bibles, my man, and get you an o-fficial, GIN-U-INE, 100% U.S. AMERICAN Bible. Stop reading one of those cheap knock-off Bibles from foreign countries China or Hawaii, with their inferior gods and two-bit belief systems. In the The U.S. AMERICAN Bible, angels come with wings, flamethrowers and BIG-ASS GUNS, the way God, the real U.S. AMERICAN God intended. But no genitals because while the real U.S. AMERICAN God loves violence like he loves the little children, he hates that disgusting, dirty sexy sex. BUT YOU SHOTGUN AN OLD WOMAN IN THE FACE AND THE U.S. AMERICAN GOD WILL BLESS YOU WITH HIS HOLY SEMEN. Yes, he will. Get you a U.S. AMERICAN, BWeaves, and leave them devil religions like Muslimian and Catholicism alone.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at August 13, 2009 11:36 AM

Looks shit-balls retarded to me - like a cross between the Matrix, Maximum Overdrive and every bad apocalypse movie ever made.

Posted by: cmr at August 13, 2009 11:38 AM

January release date is a very bad sign.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at August 13, 2009 11:41 AM

Snath-

I'm exactly the same way. I was never religious, never went to church, all of that. But give me some religious occult shit and I AM THERE. Even if it's funny/stupid like Dogma.

Posted by: chad at August 13, 2009 11:42 AM

Can anyone name a good movie that came out on a January date?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at August 13, 2009 11:44 AM

I love the creepy Catholic mythology as much as anyone else, but I have a feeling that this would be one of those movies where I'd walk out fuming about all the shit they got wrong. So… best to wait for DVD.

Nice to see Adrienne Palicki getting work though.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at August 13, 2009 11:53 AM

Well, OldSchool60, just this year there was Gran Torino, The Reader, the wide release of Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road, and Defiance (which I liked, shut up).

That was just this year.

Posted by: Snath at August 13, 2009 11:54 AM

@OldSchool60

Brokeback Mountain, Transamerica, and Million Dollar Baby, to start. Oh, and don't forget Hotel for Dogs!

Posted by: LowSlash at August 13, 2009 11:55 AM

Please never say that Revolutionary Road is a good movie.

Posted by: becks at August 13, 2009 12:03 PM

Loved your rant, Tracer Bullet. I guess I better throw my Torah away now. It's not 'Merican enuf, cause it reads right to left.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 13, 2009 12:06 PM

Human shaped things should either have wings or arms, but they really can't have both, because wings are the arms of things that fly. If you have appendages AND wings, then you're a giant insect.

THEM: The remake: Termites from God

Posted by: BWeaves at August 13, 2009 12:08 PM

Tracer... I think you just made me fall in love with you... and you may have won another EE...

Posted by: Tammers at August 13, 2009 12:09 PM

Why does everyone always link the Apocalypse with Roman Catholicism? The wacked-out Left Behind signs-n-wonders stuff is pretty much a Protestant creation, specifically John Nelson Darby and Cyrus Scofield. Wade in to that fever swamp and you can make a great end-of-the-world flick.

Posted by: alone in the dark at August 13, 2009 12:16 PM

My takeaway from viewing this extended preview was that once this comes out i can toss the dvds of all those other angel v. devil v. humans for the love of God movies out the window. I love me The Prophecy but I think the FX in this alone alone top the hell out of that. Creepiest use of ice cream truck EVER.
YAY!

Posted by: JenVegas at August 13, 2009 12:31 PM

Look, I have no response to anyone's comments other than to say that I am very disappointed in ALL of you. VERY disappointed. No one... NOT FUCKING ONE OF YOU, got the Slayer reference.

That shit is just not right, people.

Posted by: TK at August 13, 2009 12:34 PM

Paul Bettany.

Posted by: Caspar at August 13, 2009 12:36 PM

Actually, it bears mentioning that Paul Bettany bears kind of an eerie resemblance to our own Caspar Salmon.

Posted by: TK at August 13, 2009 12:42 PM

Ummm, roast my taters and call me done.

FUCK.....ME.....RUNNING....

oh, and I love Paul Bettany

Posted by: dammitjanet at August 13, 2009 12:52 PM

Wait, wasn't Legion the name of the demon Christ cast out of someone? Except now it's an… army of angels? But Michael, who's name means "One who is like God" betrays the Almighty to assist humans after their destruction has been ordered? So then Gabriel, who roughly translates to "God's hitman", gets to come down and fight him? While the aforementioned demon/angel army is outside trying to kill the pregnant girl?

This really is going to be a DVD for me, because there's no way I'll be able to get through this without pausing and expounding on religious theory about a million times. Also I should watch it alone for that same reason.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at August 13, 2009 12:55 PM

I'm in.

Posted by: Lucas at August 13, 2009 12:56 PM

"This really is going to be a DVD for me, because there's no way I'll be able to get through this without pausing and expounding on religious theory about a million times."

Christ yes you should. I mean... it's a movie, not a History Channel documentary.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at August 13, 2009 12:57 PM

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude!

Where the hell did this come from? And THAT's where Paul Bettany has been. Oooooh....!

Posted by: figgy at August 13, 2009 12:59 PM

Saw this at comiccon, meh, not impressed.

Posted by: Vi at August 13, 2009 1:05 PM

Genny, who says angels/demons/Heaven/Hell have to be "canon?" The Bible and other holy texts were rewritten and interpreted by who knows how many different people over the centuries. Parts added in, parts removed, etc, etc. That's common knowledge even if you're not religious. Why can't you give something like this a little more leeway in the creative department because of that?

That being said, I'm sure the original authors did not have angels with machine guns in mind for the End Times.

Posted by: Snath at August 13, 2009 1:07 PM

Genny (actually Rusty now),
Demons and angels are basically the same creatures; demons chose to follow Lucifer and so became, errr, demonized.

Legion comes from the quote "Our name is Legion, for we are many." It's from Mark, chapter 5, where Jesus casts a bunch of demons out of a guy.

Posted by: apocalipstick at August 13, 2009 1:09 PM

Its the last season of Supernatural from the other perspective... sort of.

I will definitely pay to see this in theatres still.

Posted by: Amanda at August 13, 2009 1:19 PM

Snath,

Then why work in that metier? Create an original story, don't try to get established tradition to do 3/4 of the work for you, then abandon that tradition when it suits you.

Next you'll be telling me it's okay to make vampire movies where the vampires are swooning love objects whose only threatening aspects are their emo hair and the blinding glow they emit in the sunshine.

Posted by: apocalipstick at August 13, 2009 1:25 PM

Oh, and I don't mind the machine guns. Just an updating of swords, don't you think?

Posted by: apocalipstick at August 13, 2009 1:29 PM

That being said, I'm sure the original authors did not have angels with machine guns in mind for the End Times.

Now THAT is cannon I can get behind.

*crickets chirping*

WHY DO YOU ALL HATE WORDPLAY SO MUCH!?

Posted by: branded at August 13, 2009 1:37 PM

apocalipstick,

True enough, I suppose.

I read somewhere the other day that Edward Cullen was voted the number one sexiest vampire. Ugh.

UGH!

Posted by: Snath at August 13, 2009 1:37 PM

I caught this trailer last night on...another movie site,* and I had me a serious--not a geekgasm, more of a dayum-they're-blowin'-shit-up-real-good-gasm. And Lucas Black! Lucas Black! (Oh...does he play a mute? From the trailer it would appear so.)

I knew you guys would have it up today. It looks seriously...well, not good, per se, but compulsively must-see-ish.

P.S. I love The Prophecy and this looks like it'd be a great double bill.

*I can if I want to. You can't stop me. I love you best, really I do.

Posted by: Jerce at August 13, 2009 1:40 PM

"I caught this trailer last night on...another movie site"

[narrows eyes]

Oh, I see. It's gonna be like that.

I just have to go get something from downstairs.

brb.

Posted by: TK at August 13, 2009 1:58 PM

Props on the Californication joke.

Posted by: Pandemic at August 13, 2009 1:59 PM

I was mildly interested in this as I saw all the angels n' shit. Cool, Dennis Quaid is doing something different.
Then hark, like a Star o'er Bethlehem, I saw Michael wielding that gas station pump like a flamethrower and a high pitched whine started up in my chest. It slowly crescendoed into a full on SQUEE! And by the end I was giggling and clapping and asking for more.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 13, 2009 2:44 PM

Paul Bettany gets to have sex with Jennifer Connelly.

I'll see this movie for that reason alone.

Posted by: Colin at August 13, 2009 5:54 PM

Go satanic grandma, GO! [Excited]

For a moment, I though the title implied a remake of Exorcist: Legion- a pretty decent film itself. No one out-creeps Brad Dourif.

Posted by: RandyPanTheGoatboy at August 13, 2009 6:27 PM

Hell yeah!

Creepy angels. Me like.

Posted by: FabMax at August 13, 2009 6:38 PM

I am far too excited about this movie. That trailer made me giggle like a school girl and squirm in my seat. Oh and "geekgasm" is my new favourite word and will be used to describe the reaction to anything that makes me happy. Thank you, TK.

Posted by: Eyvi at August 13, 2009 6:41 PM

Oh, that is some awesome, and mightily fucked up, shit.

Want.

Posted by: trib at August 13, 2009 7:02 PM

Hm.

That's a new variation on The Rapping Granny (TM).

Posted by: stardust savant at August 13, 2009 7:11 PM

I will agree with Louise and others on the love for The Prophecy.

This movie though. Just from watching the extra long trailer I don't think the graphics look all that great, of particular notice the Grandma on the ceiling. The acting looks kind of shit as well.

Gabriel? They couldn't find someone better then that guy? I don't even want to bother looking up his name.

Ohh yeah, and where's the fucking flamming sword?

Posted by: Deistbrawler at August 13, 2009 7:27 PM

It's good to see old folk staying active. Demonic possession is a nice way to stay spry, provided you survive the potty-mouth-neck-biting-getting-shotgunned-off-the-ceiling bit. Its a drawback.

In a world where sparkly vampires, empty CGI spectacles and reboots of remakes of reruns rule, this and Zombieland give me hope. PLEASE don't let me down.

Posted by: RandyPanTheGoatboy at August 13, 2009 7:28 PM

OMG this is the greatest trailer for 2010, 2010 are gonna rock so much!!!!!!

Posted by: zito at August 13, 2009 8:06 PM

Looks like The Omega Code or Left Behind but with a bigger budget. Blech!

Posted by: Armando at August 13, 2009 8:40 PM

Holy shit, Grandma's got quite the mouth on her, huh? For a moment, I thought I was watching one of those town hall meetings about health care reform.


Posted by: MelBivDevoe at August 13, 2009 10:58 PM

It kind of reminds me of another film "Gabriel" which was shit balls awesome.

Posted by: caity at August 14, 2009 12:34 AM

That is the longest, stupidest, most unoriginal Michael Bay lookin' horror porn bullshit trailer I've ever seen.

Posted by: Chuck at August 14, 2009 1:19 AM

I read somewhere the other day that Edward Cullen was voted the number one sexiest vampire. Ugh.

Bollocks to that - Spike is still number one in my bunk book.

I'll watch the damn trailer when it stops asking me my date of birth. How rude!

Posted by: Tarn at August 14, 2009 6:51 AM

I'm confused by this pseudo-Christian trailer. So God wants to take out the world because he's sick of our bullshit. Okay, makes sense, I guess -- he's reverted to his Old Testament personality. So does he send angels from heaven? Because they look demonic/hellish to me. (Yes, I understand the whole "demons are angels who followed Lucifer thing, but still.) Is God working with the Devil to take out humanity, then? If so, what's with the baby messiah? Why are the angels fighting each other? Why doesn't this fit Revelation???

Oh wait, I get it! This is secretly a Jewish movie in disguise: the baby is the messiah (who hasn't come yet) and because there's no real concept of the Devil/Hell in Judaism, then God would be the one to send anything bad. Sweet -- we really are taking over Hollywood!

Posted by: Ariel at August 15, 2009 1:35 PM

Why would angels need machineguns? Why would they be susceptible to them, for that matter? Why does an angel have retractable wolverine claws? Does he retract them to go low-profile and just hope nobody sees the wings?

Bleah. Great cast, but it looks shitty-stupid.

Posted by: RudeMorgue at August 15, 2009 3:14 PM


















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