free counter with statistics Last House on the Left Trailer | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

lhotl_r2_03.jpg
She’s Got the Eyes of the Bluest Skies / As If They Thought of Rain

Where Do We Go Now? / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | January 12, 2009 | Comments (25)

Wes Craven’s very first film was 1972’s Last House on the Left, which he both wrote and directed. You’d like to think that Craven had a soft-spot for his first, and wouldn’t want to remake it. But, he’s at that age now where he’s apparently run out of ideas, so he’s farming out all of his films for remakes (The Hills Have Eyes I and II, Nightmare on Elm Street and even Shocker — if you actually remember Shocker, it’s only because you owned the soundtrack — Megadeth rulez!). Anyway, he’s finally decided to allow Last House on the Left be remade (what’s next? People under the Stairs? Man, I dug that movie when I was a kid).

The trailer is fairly worthless — the 2009 version looks not too dissimilar to the 1972 version, a throwaway teenage horror flick that’ll rack up $45 million and disappear for another 30 years. But I will say this, and criticize me if you must, but the Taken by Trees remake of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” that plays over the trailer (around the 1:40 mark) is wicked cool. It’s kind of haunting in the same way that Gary Jules’ remake of “Mad World,” was, and it deserves a better fate than this movie. It also beats the hell out of Sheryl Crow’s remake, from a few years back.

Anyway, here’s the trailer:


← You Cannot Apply Reason | Golden Globe 2009 Winners →



Comments

DEADWOOD!

Posted by: Emily at January 12, 2009 10:22 AM

Shocker! Can't wait. Hope they redo the whole soundtrack, that was classic! Any metalhead out there who's never heard Dangerous Toys deserves this.

*devil horns, head thrashing*

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 10:22 AM

Thank you, Emily! I always felt bad for wanting to nail that psycho when he was on Deadwood, now I can feel bad about it here too...

Posted by: courtney 2 at January 12, 2009 10:37 AM

Best use of haunting music in a horror movie trailer has to be the Cocteau Twins 'Song to the Siren' in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Man I love that song.

Posted by: twig at January 12, 2009 10:37 AM

Yeah but what about Luna's version?

But who hasn't heard of Dangerous Toys and "Shocker"? Goddamn 20 year olds? Feh! Make 'em listen to "The Hurting" too! Hell, make everybody!

frizzm frazzm Darko miggm friggm!

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 10:39 AM

I'm with you on the version of the song. It's beautiful.

Posted by: Carrie at January 12, 2009 10:41 AM

Hells yeah Jay, hells yeah.

Take me drunk, I'm home.

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 10:43 AM

Megadeth does indeed rule.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 12, 2009 10:51 AM

Dangerous wha? And we may be thinking of two different "shockers".

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 12, 2009 11:04 AM

I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain....

Great. Now, not only am I disturbed by a remake of this movie, but since I can't listen to the trailer at work, I'm going to have GnR stuck in my head all day. Damn you, Rowles! *shakes fist*

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 12, 2009 11:16 AM

And we may be thinking of two different "shockers".

Wow, it took almost a half hour after Jay's comment for someone to make this joke. Anyone put money on 25 minutes in the office betting pool? My money was on less than 10.

Posted by: branded at January 12, 2009 11:19 AM

I like what I hear of the cover, too. That song was one of my faves in high school (not that it came out when I was in high school, mind you, just that my friends and I were all about the 80s).

Take me drunk, I'm home.

I swear to drunk I'm not god, Mickey!

Posted by: lizzieborden at January 12, 2009 11:20 AM

This looks promising. I'm not the biggest Last House on the Left fan, so a remake doesn't get to me too much. It's a strange choice for a remake, considering the subject matter, but maybe it will be decent.

I can't agree on the Sweet Child O'Mine cover. Maybe on its own it's ok, but not set to this. There's unnerving incongruent music, and then there's distracting incongruent music. This seems to be the latter. I felt a bit underwhelmed by the trailer when it came on. A bit too drippy, mellow, and cheerful (in approach) for the material.

Posted by: Robert at January 12, 2009 11:29 AM

Mallory, you complete me.

And I'm actually old enough to remember when GnR first hit the scene. Oh but my mullet was glorious!

"No offiser, there'sh no blood in my alchomohol syshtem."

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 11:49 AM

I saw the trailer for this through the Apple website yesterday and it looks like one I'll miss. Not to insult Mr.Craven, but it seems like it's just going to devolve into torture porn at the end.

"That's not an open container, that's an empty container."

Posted by: Genny (also Rtusty) at January 12, 2009 11:57 AM

I've got to say that after a weekend of binge drinking I'm really enjoying all the drunken comments this morning.

"I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!"

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 12:21 PM

Mallory, you complete me.

And I'm actually old enough to remember when GnR first hit the scene. Oh but my mullet was glorious!

As long as you don't still have the mullet, darling Mickey.

Kinda wish I was drunk; alas, alack, tis not true. At the moment, anyway.

Posted by: lizzieborden at January 12, 2009 12:53 PM

A monkey, Wes? Jesus, you're not even trying anymore!

What's next, a Manos, Hands of Fate prequel?

Posted by: bucslim at January 12, 2009 1:18 PM

Remakes ... the funny thing about the movie industry being so young historically is that we haven't gotten used to the endless recycling. There have been what, six Batman movies in the last twenty years? At that rate by the time I die, there will have been 24 Batman movies in my lifetime. The original Star Wars trilogy will in all likelihood be remade, probably twice even. You know Rocky and Rambo will end up remade at least a couple times with new actors. Friday the Thirteenth? Nightmare on Elm Street? Those franchises might hit 25 films each by the time I die.

And James Bond. Oh my. There have been 22 of those so far. Any chance that count won't hit 50 by 2050?

I know I can't wait until a reimagined Sopranos airs in 2020, let alone the reimagined-reimagined Battlestar Galactica in 2025.

That is our fate, little Pajibites. We will see all of our art dug back up and recycled over and over again til we can't even recognize the face of the original in the animated corpse.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 12, 2009 1:48 PM

No, darling Mallory, I cut the mullet off in junior high. And I shaved my head years ago. Very close to a Statham haircut. And everything is good when you're bald.

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 1:49 PM

Saw this when we went to see The Unborn. I did like the song, but the movie got a meh.

Posted by: Nadha at January 12, 2009 4:00 PM

What's next, a Manos, Hands of Fate prequel?

Well.....how'd the last bride or two get there, huh? There's definitely story potential. Did Torgo and his goat legs (yes, he has goat legs, and the actor built them himself) wander in off the road too? I WANT TO KNOW.

Have I mentioned how I very happily recognized a Manos Master costume the Halloween before last in Athens while in my Tenth Doctor costume, but it didn't even occur to me that it was "The Doctor and The Master" until hours later? In hindsight I was glad I hadn't thought of it since I hadn't been carrying a camera and would've had to kick myself.

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 5:45 PM

Dude plays Torgo, fucks up his legs, then fucking KILLS himself. No chance for redemption, absolution, just a punch line for the next millennium.

That, my friends, is how life can be a motherfucker sometimes. One minute you're Torgo, the next a corpse with the rickets.

Posted by: bucslim at January 12, 2009 6:31 PM

I have the 1972 Last House on the Left on DVD and it's one of those great classic 70's B horror flicks with disturbing themes and buckets of fake blood. Much like I Spit On Your Grave/Day of the Woman in that regard. Revenge and torture.

I just hope they keep the effects old school, no CGI and develope the characters properly, from the naive teenage girls to the psychopaths that kidnap them to the parents who swear grisly vengence, this could be good. I'll go see it.

Posted by: Justin at February 25, 2009 6:10 PM

I want to see this one to compare it to the older one. It is sad that movies just get recycled over and over..i really wish that more original things would come out..but hey whatever keeps us entertained i suppose.

i do love this version of "Sweet child o' mine". GNR is fucking awesome...well until axl cut off his balls and became a fag.

Posted by: Crystal at March 3, 2009 12:22 AM