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Jim Carrey, Penguins And Nut Shots: New Mr. Popper's Penguins Trailer Will Make You Curse Your Gods

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (20)

mr_popper_s_penguins04.jpg

First, watch:

Here are my thoughts as I watched endured the trailer:

  • I suppose we could do worse when it comes to children’s films. At least this is based on a somewhat beloved children’s book.

  • Wait, no. Nut shot. No good can come of this.

  • Is it me, or is this just Liar, Liar with penguins?

  • I’m going to form a band called Nut Shots, and everyone who shows up to our shows will be summarily executed.

  • Oh, Carla Gugino. Why, you intoxicating temptress, must you do this?

  • Clark Gregg, that’s gonna get your ass kicked out of S.H.I.E.L.D.

  • We closed with Vanilla Ice? Everyone just die.










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    Comments

    Ha ha, joke's on you, I don't have any gods to curse. I am the true definition of a heathen.

    That said, I ain't watching the trailer. What kind of a fool do you take me for?

    Posted by: MM at May 25, 2011 12:06 PM

    • I could never curse the gods that gave me Gentoo penguins, or any penguins for that matter. Except King penguins. F*ck them!

    Posted by: Scarecrow Julien at May 25, 2011 12:20 PM

    But Liar, Liar was pretty funny. And penguins are pretty funny. How could this be not funny/sarcasmbutwillprobablyendupwatchingitoncablesomedayanyway

    Posted by: JenVegas at May 25, 2011 12:26 PM

    Having never read the book, I don't know what happens....

    but the penguins do go rabid in the end and kill him, right?

    Posted by: dammitjanet at May 25, 2011 12:27 PM

    Ok on the one hand, that looks terrible. On the other hand, PENGUINS! They are LITR'ALLY the cutest animal on planet earth.

    Posted by: Even Stevens at May 25, 2011 12:46 PM

    I'll admit it, I giggled at the "stop hitting yourself". I accept that this means I have failed as a human being and will go to hell for it.

    Penguins are still cute, though.

    Posted by: Zirze at May 25, 2011 12:47 PM

    and I just realized I misplaced my apostrophe. Can we work on edit comment function? This would help me look a lot less stupid.

    Probably.

    Maybe not.

    Posted by: Even Stevens at May 25, 2011 12:47 PM

    I'd watch two hours of hippies hugging penguins over a full minute of this steaming pile of bunk.

    Actually, scratch that: I'd rather hug a bunch of penguins for two hours while shooting paintballs at small children, teenagers and anyone affiliated with this film's existence.

    In fact, I'd give up the chance to hug a penguin if I could just watch them shoot the afore mentioned a-holes straight to hell with some paint guns.

    And if a monkey came out of nowhere and ripped some old blue hair's face off, I wouldn't complain. I volunteer my Grandma.

    Posted by: beet salad at May 25, 2011 12:50 PM

    I'm sure the children will like it. Think about the children everybody. Old jaded Pajiba commenters are probably not the demographic this was made for. Oh the humanity

    Posted by: Glyn at May 25, 2011 12:54 PM

    There's no way I'm interested in this unless I find out he eats the penguins.

    Or if there's a Sidney Crosby cameo. (I loves me some Sidney Crosby.)

    Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 12:57 PM

    I saw the commercial for this the other day. My six year old loves anything to do with penquins so he's super excited for it.

    Posted by: Sarah at May 25, 2011 1:14 PM

    There's no way I'm interested in this unless I find out he eats the penguins.

    Fuck that. I want the penguins to eat Jim Carrey.

    Like for reals.

    Begone you evil spawn!

    Posted by: idiosynchronic at May 25, 2011 1:32 PM

    old jaded Pajiba commenters are probably not the demographic this was made for... Posted by: Glyn

    Did you see the Muppet post? Pajibans are not so much jaded as they consider twee an affront to humanity's intelligence. Pajibans don't like twee poked, poked in their noses because twee is for bastard people and Pajibans hate twee's ass face!

    Posted by: Scarecrow Julien at May 25, 2011 1:58 PM

    For some reason this reminds me of a half buried memory when Lyle Lovett made an appearance on Letterman right after marrying Julia Roberts. He then sang a dumbfounding song about "....Penguins are so sensitive to my needs..." I'm guessing he was into arctic bestiality or something. I don't think I would have remembered it except for the fact that Dave gave him a look like he just cranked a corn loaf on his desk, and proceeded to forgo the regular interview and just teed off on the lyrics for the next five minutes.

    Anyway...I can hear I bunch of you out there grumbling, "Get on with it Blondie!" The point was that a movie trailer this bowel-releasingly bad deserves a song of equal nature, that at least shares similar subject matter.

    Posted by: bleujayone at May 25, 2011 2:05 PM

    Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 25, 2011 2:09 PM

    I want the penguins to peck Carrey's eyes out. Is that wrong?

    I think I would inflict this movie on inmates, but that would likely be an Eighth Amendment violation.

    Posted by: The Wanderer at May 25, 2011 2:36 PM

    Jim has tried, folks. He really tried. The Truman Show, Man On The Moon, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the misfire (but still a departure) The Number 23, and most recently I Love You Phillip Morris, which had its release date pushed back so many times that I still couldn't tell you if it ever actually showed at a theater near me. I saw this trailer last night on television, and it made me sad. In the end, this is all the public wants from him.

    Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 25, 2011 2:44 PM

    This doesn't exist, so I would appreciate you never speaking of it again.

    And on Towel Day, for Ford Prefect's sake.

    Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 25, 2011 4:02 PM

    Oh, how dare you. How dare you all. I've long thought Pajibans don't have souls and this confirms it. If you don't look at a little tuxedo waddling with its flippers out and immediately want to squeeze it to death for being so adorable, then the rapture has already happened, my friends, and you are the zombified corpses left stinking behind.

    And Socrates, Jim WEARS a Crosby jersey at one point. I believe that should suffice.

    Posted by: Laurie at May 26, 2011 12:21 AM

    On the other hand - farting

    Resume fire, and don't stop until every last black and white bastard is dead

    Posted by: Laurie at May 26, 2011 12:35 AM