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Jackass 3.5: Just F**k Each Other Already, for God's Sake

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (10)

jackass_35_movie_2011.jpg

Jackass 3.5 looks to bring a new level of homoeroticism to the Internet. Because watching one of the Jackass crew swing his flaccid penis around in three dimensions wasn’t quite enough, the ragtag crew of vanity cases have spliced together the leftover footage from Jackass 3D to create Jackass 3.5, which will debut on the Internet — where it belongs — on April 1st. The trailer suggests that these fellas were attempting to see how big an explosion they could create in their own asses and then, out of Catholic guilt, punish each other in their crotches.

It’s all starting to make sense now: The crotch shots are a form of self-punishment, a way to temporarily disable their junk, briefly muting the lust they feel for one another. But you don’t have to hide it anymore, fellas. The world is ready. So, wrap your dicks in firecrackers and go to town on each other. It is the Internet, after all.











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Comments

Arrgh. When will these idiots finally profess their man-love for each other? Watching them in an orgy for 75 minutes would be preferable to watching them do anything else.

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 28, 2011 10:18 AM

But no third dimension?
DAMN YOU DAN CARLSON!

CARLSOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!

Posted by: superasente at January 28, 2011 10:34 AM

You think I'm gonna watch that clip? The header pic alone put me off my chum for the rest of the day, at least.

Posted by: , at January 28, 2011 10:44 AM

Jackass 3.5

Starring:

Johnny Cocksville as General Anus
Bam Mangina as Corporal Bottoms
Ryan Bum as The Private
Steve Big-O as Receiver/Operator
Wee-Man as The Butt-Plug
Preston Lacy as Babs Johnson
Chris Donkey-punchious as That Dude in the Speedo
Dave England as Somebody who looks like Dax Shepard
Erin McGay-he as Everybody's Bitch

Co-Starring Tony Hawk, Spike Jonze, Aril and Phil Margera as People who still pretend to think it's funny because they have immature friemds/children

All the assess, dicks, human fluids, and extreme fetishes you could ever want...with NO MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION!!!! "Cumming soon" to an internets near you!!

Posted by: PissBoy at January 28, 2011 10:48 AM

Johnny Knoxville bumps into Bam Margera at the bar...

After an awkwardly long meeting of the eyes he asks, "Pardon me Bam. May I push in your stool?"

Posted by: PissBoy at January 28, 2011 10:52 AM

When Rowles rants about the Jackass guys, it reminds me of Britta in the Anthony Michael Hall episode of "Community."

"Oh come on, am I being punk'd?"

Posted by: JarekMatthews at January 28, 2011 4:33 PM

Never understood the attraction. Kinda like the eating part of Fear Factor. Just no.

Posted by: Protoguy at January 28, 2011 5:50 PM

I don't have a hate on for the Jackass guys like so many Pajibans seem to, but I do admit that the franchise is eventually going to have to go to anal sex. They've done "a bunch of supposedly straight guys doing something stereotypically gay for discomforts sake," and they've done "inserting uncomfortable objects into an unwilling anus." Eventually we're going to see it:

"Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is the buttfuck."

I can almost hear the maniacal laughter of the onlookers and the faux disgusted "ewww"s of the participants. I can almost see the growing erections that they struggle to hide from the camera.

Posted by: Daventhal at January 28, 2011 6:04 PM

It's a conundrum: on one hand, I really don't want to watch these guys all but fuck each other. On the other hand, I enjoy watching them get hurt.

Posted by: Kris at January 28, 2011 7:24 PM

It's a conundrum: on one hand, I really don't want to watch these guys all but fuck each other. On the other hand, I enjoy watching them get hurt.

Posted by: Kris at January 28, 2011 7:24 PM

Well then the producers just have to make sure none of the guys spit on it first.

Posted by: PissBoy at January 28, 2011 8:50 PM