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Jack and Jill Trailer: Katie Holmes Has Found Something More Undignified than Marriage to Tom Cruise

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (23)

holmes28-1600x1200.jpg

Oh, you poor woman.

You poor, poor woman.











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Comments

As a man with a twin sister it seems that some of those things should be funny to me. And that I should feel some sympathy for Pacino to be reduced to such things. Then I realize that Pacino made more money for that abortion of a film than I will make in my whole life.

As for Katie...well, what does it matter? All Sandler co-stars go away after staring in his films.Seen Julie Bowen,Fairuza Balk,Joey Lauren Adams,Patricia Arquette,Winona Ryder, Kate Beckinsale, or Jessica Biel in any movies lately? Not really, no. Sandler movies end their leading lady careers. Holmes already lost that, if she ever had it. At least she has that large contract from Cruise for Stepford wife duty.

Posted by: Sean at July 8, 2011 5:51 PM

Sorry Dustin, I know it's a kind of Pajiba faux pas to quote other threads but...

"I can’t pinpoint exactly what it was that caused me to blackout, but I suspect it had something to do with the obscene product placement, the 70’s classic rock that permeates through all of Happy Madison’s films..."

-Strangely I found it applied here too. I was just waiting for Sander's Jill to scream "NOOOOOOO, they're all gonna laugh at you!!!"

You wish Sandler. You only wish.

Posted by: bleujayone at July 8, 2011 5:58 PM

So. I now have to decide whether tonight's murder spree will be the result of this or Sarah Palin's movie. I guess I could do it in the name of both but I really want the message to be clear and concise.

Posted by: Paultera at July 8, 2011 6:01 PM

Who'd have thunk that Pacey would have the best post-Dawson career...

Posted by: Fredo at July 8, 2011 6:20 PM

How did this film get made without a fat suit? It's 1000x funnier if the sister is in a fat suit. And there needs to be a heartwarming event at the end of the movie, because family is the most important thing in the world.

By the way, as someone with a seriously F'd up family-and I'm not talking the occasional argument, I'm talking "Run! She's got a knife!!"-every movie stressing the importance of family through thick and thin can just go screw.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 8, 2011 6:31 PM

My computer crashed when I tried to play the trailer. It also takes my keys when I've had too much drink and walks on the outside of me when we're on the sidewalk.

Thanks, computer. You really care.

Posted by: jM at July 8, 2011 7:04 PM

If my laptop vibrated, my life would be complete.

Posted by: snapnhiss at July 8, 2011 7:09 PM

There's something reassuring to me about the fact that what I found most obscene about this was the use of Edvard Grieg's "In The Hall Of The Mountain King." At this point, the rest of it is just par for the course.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at July 8, 2011 7:29 PM

i think that the ad following the trailer was better than the actual trailer.

Posted by: Molotov at July 8, 2011 8:51 PM

God, marketers have no idea how to title a movie.

This should clearly be titled AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Posted by: Shadowen at July 8, 2011 9:12 PM

So so so bad.

Just, no.

Posted by: grace b at July 8, 2011 9:31 PM

Forgive me Tranformers: Dark of the Moon, Jack and Jill is now the worst thing I have ever seen.

Posted by: junierizzle at July 8, 2011 9:36 PM

wow. just....wow.

Posted by: haplo at July 8, 2011 11:51 PM

This piece of shit looks like it could be one of the fake movies that Adam Sandler's character in Funny People starred in. Which I'm sure was a small critique by Apatow on the garbage that over-entitled "movie stars" do only for the paycheck i.e. Sandler playing a baby or *cringes* twins. Ugh.

Posted by: happy diaz at July 9, 2011 12:37 AM

I don't get it. Katie Holmes dropped out of The Dark Knight, but agreed to do this?

Posted by: Turtle at July 9, 2011 3:01 AM

She dropped The Dark Knight, but willing to do a crappy Adam Sandler movie.

I really do feel sorry for her as strange as that is. If she did something really successful Tom Cruise would get jealous. He'd pull out some bullshit rule from scienfucktology about how her being successful is bad mothering.

Can't help the weak.

Posted by: billixbee at July 9, 2011 6:01 AM

Why are they having dinner with a homeless man? And why does the son have a dildo strapped to his head? And why hasn't the sun burnt out yet?

Posted by: MrFrye at July 9, 2011 12:24 PM

This is a joke played on us all.

That trailer we just watched? Not real.

The movie? Not real.

Can't be.

Posted by: Moviefraud at July 9, 2011 12:32 PM

O yeah. Biiig ol sack o shit.

Posted by: klingonfree at July 9, 2011 2:00 PM

It's freaky how much he looks like Mayim Bialik.

Posted by: buell at July 9, 2011 7:38 PM

So now, thanks to sinning scum like Pajiba overlords and other irresponsible media outlets, the truth is out, and the realization will now be taking root from the evil seeds planted on this site:
Comedy has its own AntiChrist, and is now on the very edge of complete and irreversible extinction.

Some prophecies, by definition, are of such unimaginable, soul-shattering magnitude that even an overwhelmed Nostradamus couldn't summon the courage or will to attempt sweating out another revelatory quatrain to describe this one, if only for the reasonable fear of crushing the very foundation of his own highly compromised sanity.

In bequeathing his prophecies to the eternal scrutiny of interpretation and their significance to the basic understanding of mankind's history, from the Creation and up to its final, inevitable demise, Nostrodamus knew it was necessary to obscure the pre-Doomsday events of 11/11/11 (the ancient Mayan-predicted date of Comedy's death) for scholarly purposes in providing an unmitigated and more precise conclusion to the overall story of mankind's finite claim to existence, which for some reason or another will stubbornly drag on to the more universally recognized end-date of 12/21/12, as if anyone will still give a shit by then, since humor, or any sense thereof, will be stripped from our consciousness while it shamefully cowers in the dark recesses of the void after its brutal Sandler-induced rape and disgusting violation of its resulting fragile, desolate shell of despair.

Since Pajiba chooses to unleash this toxic harbinger of armageddon, under the sick disguise of a lighthearted movie trailer; to assault our collective sensibility and hurl us ever closer to the jagged precipice of our most certainly guaranteed doomsday- well, there's really not much of anything we can do about it, is there? I'm sure they're just patting themselves on the back right now.

A final word: Knowledge isn't always a good thing, Pajiba Editors- your hubris exceeds your humanity, and this arrogant display of unchecked internet power will not go unnoticed on Judgement Day. The Sandler jew will suffer his own unique hell soon enough.

Posted by: See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya at July 9, 2011 8:06 PM

Sandler's not even trying anymore, is he?

I mean, not that his other movies are cinematic masterpieces, but I enjoyed his older stuff like Happy Gilmore. But this? Yeesh.

And I suppose it's not even worth it to rant about how male/female twins are fraternal, not identical, and probably wouldn't look the same. Yeah, not worth it.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 10, 2011 11:44 AM

No. There's no way that shit is real.

Posted by: Another Jen at July 11, 2011 12:43 AM