It's The Trailer Thunderdome!: Three Enter And You F***, Marry, or Falcon Punch?
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It's The Trailer Thunderdome!: Three Enter And You F***, Marry, or Falcon Punch?

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | April 24, 2013 | Comments ()


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The three contestants today are fairly different. This is going to be a tough choice.

We begin with the Japanese trailer for The Wolverine. We get a look at the plot, I think, and then I fell asleep.

I think that The Wolverine has a decent chance of being Marry this week. It's like I've got a deadline for marrying someone just so I can inherit millions of dollars left to me by a relative that thinks they're clever, so I settle for muscles and action.

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Next we have the Sofia Coppola written and directed The Bling Ring. Emma Watson plays one of the group of idiots that robbed such pinnacles of the Hollywood community as Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Then the thieves got caught and we got this movie. I still think the thieves won.

I'm going to go ahead and F*ck this one. I believe this movie would let you do some pretty crazy things with it in bed. Then, in the morning, you won't even feel badly about kicking its vapid ass out so you can play Xbox and eat cereal.

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Finally, we have The Big Wedding, starring Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Topher Grace, Amanda Seyfried (getting married, again), and Katherine Heigl. Gross. Keaton and De Niro are divorced but must pretend to be married for the sake of their adopted son's biological mother. Because lying your ass off to the woman that ditched her kid so you could raise him in order to impress her is SUPER IMPORTANT.

FALCON PUNCH!

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Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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