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It's The Trailer Thunderdome!: Three Enter And You F***, Marry, or Falcon Punch?

By Jodi Smith | Trailers | April 24, 2013 | Comments ()

By Jodi Smith | Trailers | April 24, 2013 |


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The three contestants today are fairly different. This is going to be a tough choice.

We begin with the Japanese trailer for The Wolverine. We get a look at the plot, I think, and then I fell asleep.

I think that The Wolverine has a decent chance of being Marry this week. It's like I've got a deadline for marrying someone just so I can inherit millions of dollars left to me by a relative that thinks they're clever, so I settle for muscles and action.

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Next we have the Sofia Coppola written and directed The Bling Ring. Emma Watson plays one of the group of idiots that robbed such pinnacles of the Hollywood community as Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Then the thieves got caught and we got this movie. I still think the thieves won.

I'm going to go ahead and F*ck this one. I believe this movie would let you do some pretty crazy things with it in bed. Then, in the morning, you won't even feel badly about kicking its vapid ass out so you can play Xbox and eat cereal.

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Finally, we have The Big Wedding, starring Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Topher Grace, Amanda Seyfried (getting married, again), and Katherine Heigl. Gross. Keaton and De Niro are divorced but must pretend to be married for the sake of their adopted son's biological mother. Because lying your ass off to the woman that ditched her kid so you could raise him in order to impress her is SUPER IMPORTANT.

FALCON PUNCH!

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