film / tv / lists / news / love / celeb / video / think pieces / staff / web / politics / netflix / snl / westworld / the walking dead / advertise / cbr

It's That Time Again! Time To F*ck, Marry, or Falcon Punch Some Trailers!

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | May 17, 2013 | Comments ()


First up today, we have DIsney's Planes. The kid-friendly sequel will be released n August 9th, yet they chose to give us this trailer without any dialogue. Is it because the dialogue is unfinished or because they would like us to forget that Dane Cook voices the lead plane, Dusty Crophopper? If you are wondering, the beautiful lady in the header is Priyanka Chopra, voice of Ishani in the movie.

I got really bored watching this trailer. That alone kicks it out of the F*ck running for me. I suppose I'll have to Marry this one and maybe keep some other Pixar flick on the side.

Breaking-Dawn-part-1-trailer-GIFs-bella-swan-25317605-512-218.gif

Next up is Last Vegas, starring Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline. When Billy (Douglas) informs his long-time pals that he is getting married, they all take off for a four-day weekend in Las Vegas. It's like The Hangover except sponsored by Viagra and fanny packs.

This one might be the best of the three, but it doesn't seem like marriage material. I'm going to F*ck this one, friends. I'm going to get it all hepped up on Red Bull and vodka, make sure all false teeth are properly secured its mouth, and go at the old man balls.

tumblr_llpw7ryPzn1qi3n3go1_500.gif

Last and least is v/h/s 2. The first v/h/s was a steaming pile when it could have been something really amazing and innovative. Instead we got lots of boobs, plots that revolved around showing some boobs, and then gore. Also, boobs. The sequel hits On Demand June 6th and theaters July 12th.

This trailer is super, amazing, totally NSFW Red Band. It also gives away lots and lots of things that would have been nice scares.

FALCON PUNCH!

tumblr_mk9gpli8iT1s63bb0o1_500.gif



Eloquent Eloquence: Literrhea Edition | The "Game Of Thrones" Death Watch: Episode 3.7



Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments