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It's Gonna Be Hell On Wheel

By Adam Lyon | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (26)

rubbertire.jpg

Quick! Name some “Inanimate Objects Attack Their Owner” films. OK, you’ve got Child’s Play. But creepy dolls are basically a cliche. Did I hear Christine? Because if you said Christine then I have got a treat for you.

Instead of 2 tons of Detroit Steel, we’ve got 20 pounds of … Rubber.

It’s the tale of a vengeful Tire that goes by the name of Robert. Got that? Moving on!
See, Robbie discovered a pile of burning tires and then decided, according to French director Quentin Dupieux, “to avenge his people by blowing people’s heads… like tires.”

That weirdness aside, I’m a little disappointed that he was sentient before the tire fire. For some reason I prefer the idea that he was awakened as some kind of avenging spirit for tires everywhere.

Here’s the trailer.

Oh man! How are we going to stop that!? A bullet? Well, either that or a particularly steep incline. Or some broken glass. Or knocking it on its side.

Come on Pajibans, it’s called Rubber. I’m sure you’ve already have a dozen dirty jokes for this.

(Via Slashfilm)









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Comments

But... but... WHAT DID THE CROW DO?!

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at May 4, 2010 8:18 PM

P.S. Heh heh. Rubber.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at May 4, 2010 8:19 PM

Dirty Joke #1:

to avenge his people by blowing people’s heads…

My word, it practically writes itself!

Posted by: malikvlc at May 4, 2010 8:19 PM

AvB, the crow 'sploded.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 4, 2010 8:49 PM

Sex on Wheels, yeah!

Posted by: Cindy at May 4, 2010 8:56 PM

Paid for by Goodyear.

Does it have positronic traction?

Quote the raven...

Posted by: admin at May 4, 2010 9:16 PM

I decided to turn off the sound and add my own soundtrack.

Stevie Wonder's "Superstition" fits this in a Pink Floyd "Dark Side of the Moon" meets "Wizard of Oz kinda way.

So waitaminute...the tire just "stares" at a victim, vibrates like a backfiring dildo and said victim just explodes like a cast off from "Scanners"? Bah. I was hoping it would just zip around and run people over...

Like this clip; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua2IucaIpNw

Posted by: bleujayone at May 4, 2010 9:30 PM

I've had the wheel on a car try to kill me before, but the tire swore he had nothing to do with it.

Posted by: Wednesday at May 4, 2010 10:00 PM

Well, I did not see the psychokinesis coming. (But who ever does? Wokka wokka.) Am I the only one who expected the tire to, you know, start rolling and then run over the crow? Like tires are wont to do?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at May 4, 2010 10:29 PM

How to stop it, puncture it, kill it ... hmmm ...

Run it over a curb, real hard. That always works for ,daughter.

Posted by: , at May 4, 2010 10:57 PM

Other murderous inanimate objects:

Talking Teena

The tumbleweeds in that one pretty lousy "Outer Limits" with Eddie Albert

The Horta from Star Trek (silicone-based, basically a living rock)

Keanu Reeves*

ba-DUM!

*--had to have killed SOMEbody in SOME movie SOMEwhere

Posted by: , at May 4, 2010 11:01 PM

Play Backyard Tire Fire at it?

Posted by: , at May 4, 2010 11:26 PM

Tie it to a tree and make it fondle your buttocks.

Posted by: admin at May 4, 2010 11:55 PM

Bwahahahahaaha.

I think that was the greatest video I have ever seen in my entire life. That...was epic.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 5, 2010 2:31 AM

*--had to have killed SOMEbody in SOME movie SOMEwhere

Whatever that movie with James Spader was when Keanu played the serial killer and Spader was the detective/FBI guy/whatever. Something along the lines of Block of Wood vs. Block of Wood with Glasses On. I dunno I'm too lazy to check IMDB this early.

Posted by: D-Day at May 5, 2010 7:45 AM

p.s. based on my previous track record of turning threads into lessons on what NOT to say, we need to not tempt people into dirty joke corners. Believe me, I've got a dirty definition for a rubber teaser, but I'm going straight to hell for it.

Here's hoping that little Bridgestone Butcher gets a hold of that Michelin Man. Stick em with a shiv, boy!

Posted by: D-Day at May 5, 2010 7:52 AM

You know what will stop the Rubber in its tracks?

A positive pregnancy test. Then who's head will be exploding, eh tire?

Posted by: Kballs at May 5, 2010 8:08 AM

Make it run over a shallow, greasy puddle of water. It won't stop, but it will skid hilariously off-course thereby turning the movie into slapstick.

Posted by: stardust at May 5, 2010 8:35 AM

Where the rubber hits the crowed.

*ducks*

OK, OK, even I'M getting tired of this.

*ducks again*

Dead tired.

WHAP!

*forgot to duck*

Posted by: , at May 5, 2010 9:15 AM

So the tire is going to avenge people by blowing up birds?

Was the tire giving a bird?

People were watching, so was it bird snuff porn?

Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2010 10:48 AM

What about throwing banana peels in its path?

Posted by: Lindsay at May 5, 2010 12:27 PM

Pot holes and speed bumps. Lots.

Posted by: , at May 5, 2010 12:56 PM

Oh funny.
For the uninitiated, Quentin Dupieux is "Mr. Oizo."
Basically Mr. Oizo was a lo-fi electronic dance music artist who blew up (mostly in europe) around 1998.
Sort of like how the Gorillaz are a cartoon band nowadays, Mr. Oizo was personified by a yellow puppet named "Flat Eric."

Fellow Americans might remember him from a series of bizarre Levi's commercials from that era.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1ULFr0_Xpo
(Video is fairly low quality, sorry!)

Posted by: Scott at May 5, 2010 3:54 PM

I think Anna von Beaversmack knew the crow exploded. I think she was asking , "what did the crow (or crows in general) do to incur the vengeance of the tire". Which was my first question also.

Posted by: Pat C. at May 5, 2010 11:39 PM

@ Pat C. Maybe the tire is just a ruthless bastard.

Posted by: blahblah at May 6, 2010 4:45 AM

Keanu Reeves*--had to have killed SOMEbody in SOME movie SOMEwhere

Whatever that movie with James Spader was when Keanu played the serial killer and Spader was the detective/FBI guy/whatever. Something along the lines of Block of Wood vs. Block of Wood with Glasses On. I dunno I'm too lazy to check IMDB this early.I believe he may also have killed one or two people in the Matrix movies. In fact, some of them he might have killed twice, if my memory serves.

Posted by: BiblioGeek at May 8, 2010 12:35 AM