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It's Certainly a Different Approach to Nurse Fetishes: Silent Hill Revelations Trailer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | October 25, 2012 | Comments ()


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The Silent Hill series of video games are a slow burning exercise in imagery and imagination so psychologically screwed up that they could make Ryan Murphy make nothing but Care Bears spin offs for the rest of his life. And the series boasts one of the truly good video game adaptations to film, 2006's Silent Hill, which sadly made a fraction of the interminable and interchangeable Resident Evil movies. But, Silent Hill is getting a sequel of its own, and this time they've brought Boromir along for the ride.

Here's the plot summary:

When a young woman (Adelaide Clemens) loses her father (Sean Bean) to mysterious supernatural forces, she must descend into the bowels of hell to find him and discover her true identity in this follow-up to the 2006 adaptation of Konami's Silent Hill video-game franchise. Solomon Kane's Michael J. Bassett directed from his own script.

Wow, what marketing genius thought that dropping the name Solomon Kane was going to help this sell? That's like putting "Certified Marsupial Molester" in bold face at the top of your resume.

And here's the teaser trailer, which requires you to state your age. I'm sure underage kids are stymied by such questions, but I told it I was born in 1929 just to throw them off tracking my real identity.

Yeah, that's not creepy so much as just uninterestingly weird. See, this is why Boromir said that you don't simply walk into Mordor. This happens to you.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Dragonchild

    If they were smart about it (fat chance), they'd make the UFO ending as well and randomly screen it in theatres. But that would be too risky and stuff.

  • BlackRabbit

    Am I the only one who wants to make a movie where Sean Bean can't die? Like put him in a Highlander reboot or something?

  • If you have a good home theater set up the first Silent Hill is worth a view. It's not great, but it has some solid scares and the surround sound will rattle your walls. The ending especially makes great use of the rear channels.

  • Andy Brent

    You know nothing, Jon Snow... or you would have run far, far away from that girl when you still had the chance.

  • googergieger

    I'll see your Pyramid head and raise you two ball faces.

  • littlealbatross

    I wonder how soon into the movie Sean Bean will die. Has his character ever lived all the way through a movie? Any movie?

    Also all the moaning weirds me out. It was the most frightening part of the trailer.

  • Robert

    True story. Sean Bean already survived the first movie. This series is good to him.

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    That's the problem. Someone realized he had survived, so even though no one particularly wants a Silent Hill sequel, they are being forced to make one solely so they can kill off Sean Bean.

    True Fact - That's also why we got a sequel to National Treasure, but then they screwed that up, so now we are going to get National Treasure 3: This time they finally Kill Sean.

    At least, that's why I assume they are making a National Treasure 3. No other reason seems to logically fit.

  • Robert

    If you really want to get technical, his survival is a mistake. The film was written to actually follow the second game, with a male character crying and passing out every five minutes because herp derp Silent Hill. The studio said it was unrealistic (men don't cry, duh), so daddy looking for his daughter became mommy looking for her daughter. Now the daughter has to look for her daddy and, based on the NYCC previews, every other kid in her new school who was also abducted.

  • There isn't already a National Treasure 3?

  • lowercase_ryan

    Those look like the face suckers from Half-Life.

  • ditto

  • Wembley

    Isn't this the third one? Or did someone make a movie so similar I thought it was a sequel?

  • Jezzer

    It's the second movie, but the plot is taken from the third game.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I guess it's a novel idea to begin the movie with Sean Bean ALREADY dead (and not fake dead like in Goldeneye).

  • KatSings

    I hated the first one. Well, maybe that's a bold statement - I though it had a lot of creepy imagery, but the actually story was crap. However, that's not why I won't see this one. A trailer came on during AHS last night and it involved some crazy demon spider thing - HELL TO THE NO.

  • janetfaust

    Sean Bean was in the first one. I really enjoyed it. It left me feeling creeped-out for a while.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    So if testicles were people, they would be women dressed as nurses? Why do they have testicle faces... heads...

  • Bert_McGurt

    And here I was wondering why their faces resembled the Iraqi landscape.

  • Funky_Brewster

    Am I alone in thinking that Michelle Williams was in this? I mean... the resemblence is uncanny. And I'm too lazy to Wikipedia it.

  • Whatever4

    Thank you for reassuring me that my eyesight hasn't gone the way of my brain cells. It was driving me nuts, thinking that HAS to be Michelle Williams and wondering what some casting director had on her that resulted in this avowedly non-Michelle-Williams vehicle.

  • Monica

    Yeah this Adelaide chick looks SO much like Williams. I kept wondering why Michelle Williams would agree to be in this, it didn't seem like a project she would need to take on. I'm glad it turned out to not be her.

  • Listen, young woman, if you were so intent on not losing your father, you should've been born to someone other than Sean Bean. You have only yourself to blame.

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