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Insufferable, Sanctimonious Privileged Goop Lady to Play Down-Home Country Singer

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (34)

Country-Strong-crop-thumb-500xauto-20247.jpg

Here’s the trailer for Country Strong, a title so cheesy I nearly cringed my jaw off writing it. It looks like the big studio version of Crazy Heart (which was already a fairly formulaic film). It also looks like it could be decent Hollywood inspirational guilty pleasure hokum if it had someone like Sandra Bullock or Reese Witherspoon in the lead role. But, Gwyneth? Come the fuck on? As the down-on-her-luck country singer dealing with addiction and the up-and-comer (Leighton Meester) nipping at her heels? What is she addicted to? Can you go to rehab for an addiction to Pinot and bottled water?

I don’t know who did the casting for this film, but whoever it is fucked up. She should have her CSA membership revoked.

Here’s the trailer.









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Comments

I believe in Gwyneth. She can pull this off.

I wont be seeing this, mind you, but she'll pull it off.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 10, 2010 10:35 AM

The best is how she talks about how she gained 10 pounds for the role. Don't ask me where.

Posted by: Sassy at September 10, 2010 10:38 AM

I can't find any words to describe how bad that trailer is. None!

Posted by: Cindy at September 10, 2010 10:42 AM

Know why she's a bad choice for this? Because she's an emotional fucking cripple. Her soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about her is ugly.

Posted by: Kballs at September 10, 2010 10:50 AM

yeah she doesnt seem very capable of pulling this of..BUT..man i wish she is. but i already see the review where she is being ripped

Posted by: Jolene at September 10, 2010 10:55 AM

Neil Diamond's honky-tonk-crooner lost weekend in "The Jazz Singer" isn't so unconvincing now, is it?

Posted by: Jay at September 10, 2010 10:58 AM

OMG... she gyrated and flipped her hair. Never thought Goop would actually do something silly and awkward like that.

January release... isn't January the dumping ground for possible fall release but didn't live up to expectation movies?

Posted by: tallulahc at September 10, 2010 11:00 AM

Rowles let me say from the outset that I love reading your articles, especially when you go on a semi rant about an actress choosing a particular role. My question to you is about your anger, why are you so reluctant to use the word cunt?

Posted by: Pookie at September 10, 2010 11:00 AM

Wait, I am more concerned about Tim McGraw than Gwinnie. Tim McGraw.

Posted by: Nimue at September 10, 2010 11:02 AM

Chills. I got chills watching that trailer.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a national treasure and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to name my first child Country Strong. Or give that cologne I've been working on that name.

Posted by: michael murray at September 10, 2010 11:15 AM

Hold on. Gwynneth is perfect for the role. Not miscast at all. She's Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill and Jessica Simpson all wrapped up into one. Also, I loathe contemporary country music and the whole Nashville scene. Just loathe it.

Posted by: Ro at September 10, 2010 11:24 AM

It's like everything else that is modern and mainstream country. Crap. Crappity crap crap crap.

I'll just watch busted up VHS copy of Coal Miner's Daughter.

Posted by: Natalia at September 10, 2010 11:38 AM

Now that is some funny shit! Who says comedy is hard?

Posted by: logan at September 10, 2010 11:46 AM

Well, if the music didn't already make me want to kill puppies, the Paltrow has ensured that I'll never procreate again.

Posted by: admin at September 10, 2010 11:47 AM

Best performance award goes to Tim McGraw's hairpiece. It's heaps more convincing than it was in The Blindside. I think it's been workshopping with the ghost of Uta Hagen.

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 10, 2010 11:47 AM

Where the hell is Ashley Judd when you need her, dammit?

Posted by: Az at September 10, 2010 12:12 PM

This movie will make admin sterile? Thank god! Maybe now we can start cleaning up all this fucking glitter.

Posted by: Kballs at September 10, 2010 12:40 PM

Wait a second coverinbees. You are telling me Tim McGraw is some sort of actor. I am so not ok with that. How about Toby Keith? Then he and Gwennie can go American All Over Everyone's Asses.

Posted by: Nimue at September 10, 2010 12:49 PM

I will NOT be misquoted! The hair is the talent. THE HAAAAIR!!!

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 10, 2010 12:59 PM

Formulaic, yes. I liked "Crazy Heart" anyway.

Posted by: , at September 10, 2010 1:03 PM

Five years from now this will make a "What were they thinking list"

Posted by: logan at September 10, 2010 1:19 PM

Az: agreed. You're not going to tell me there's no other actress of Paltrow's vintage who can pull this off. Seeing her dolled-up like a country singer makes me appreciate how truly bland she is. Girlfriend needs the designers, fancy makeup, etc. to stand out. Honey, you are no Parton.

As I posted earlier, I really think this is a vanity project for Paltrow, who fancies herself a crooner.

Posted by: samantha t at September 10, 2010 1:23 PM

Has anyone ever, when Paltrow's version of "Cruisin''" comes on the radio*, had the urge to plow right into the center divide and end it all? Just me then? Hokay.

*SOMETIMES I listen to crappy radio stations. F*ck you and your hipster** sensibilities.

**I also sometimes listen to hipster radio. Hipster Radio, for all your overtly ironic needs.

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 10, 2010 1:29 PM

I love Gwyneth the actress, and she looks awesome in this.

Posted by: Sofía at September 10, 2010 1:59 PM

Vomit. Puke. Hurl.

Posted by: Eman at September 10, 2010 2:51 PM

Covered in Bees: Not to mention that the original is one of the most beautiful songs. Seriously. I wouldn't put myself in the position of being compared to Smoky frigging Robinson with a voice that's high school chorus level (at best).

I bet Huey Lewis thought she was a total asshole.

Posted by: samantha t at September 10, 2010 3:41 PM

I liked this better when it was called Crazy Heart and I liked Crazy Heart better when it was called Tender Mercies.

Posted by: Snrub at September 10, 2010 4:36 PM

Totally with you Snrub! How many times can this story be rehashed? Hopefully Gwyneth proves to be the nail in the coffin.

Posted by: Finn at September 11, 2010 12:18 AM

or we could just nail her in a coffin.... just sayin...

Posted by: logan at September 11, 2010 10:44 AM

No!!!!I had hopes for you Garrett Hedlund!

Posted by: feebthefurbieassasin at September 11, 2010 6:11 PM

This looks terrible. I may see it because of my embarrassing love for Leighon Meester. Sad, but true.

Posted by: Spoons at September 11, 2010 7:40 PM

Well, I guess Gwyneth must like America again.

OR... is it because she has an ulterior motive?! That's it! That's the only explanation for this.

She's apparently moved past calling Americans names and claiming Europe is SO much better, and is now attempting to appeal to us low-brow, no class havin’, country-lovin' Americans.... so what's the motive?

Is she divorcing that British guy who knocked her up? Is she gracing America with her presence once more?

Please, God, say it isn't so.

Posted by: Sarah at September 12, 2010 10:59 PM

Oh Christ, that is just horrific. One thing I did notice though, is that for being the star of this movie, Gwyneth was not actually in the trailer very much. If only they'd stuck to that formula for the whole film...

Posted by: lingli at September 14, 2010 8:40 AM

At last they are out!!! :-)
66 days - can't even imagine what it must have been for them. So happy for the miners and their families. God Bless!

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